Suspicion
by Privateserieslvr
Summary: Winter breaks over. Easton is back in session. Josh and Reed are back together, and will plan on staying this way for a long time. But when it comes to Easton and Reed Brennan, there is always something up...
1. Be Careful

"You two, shall be ashamed of yourselves." Headmaster Monroe scolded us.

Josh and I were sitting in his office, in front of his desk on red chairs. The reason we're here? Well, maybe because we were caught making out in the Art Cemetery while Mrs. Lewis-Hanneman was giving a group of people a tour of Easton. Great job, Brennan. Now I knew I was going to be expelled. I could feel it.

"We're very sorry, Headmaster Monroe." Josh apologized for the 5th time.

I couldn't say anything I was so scared. If I were kicked out of Easton, what would I do in Croton? Sit around and watch Scott bring girl after girl home for dinner? Yeah, sounds great.

"You two should be. I'm sorry to say this, but, Miss Brennan, you may no longer be at the Art Cemetery while Mr. Hollis is. Take this as a warning, if this happens again, I will have to take away your keys. And I would hate to do that." He sighed.

"Yes, sir." We both said. I tried to calm my shaking.

"You two are dismissed." He said we both got out of there as quickly as we could. As soon as we were outside of Hell Hall, we snuck around onto the side of the building and just took a minute to figure out how this could have happened.

"I thought… I didn't think anyone would be in there. I never go there when someone's gunna be in there." Josh shook his head. Just as confused as I was.

"I know… I know you wouldn't intentionally get us in trouble." I told him. Putting my hand on his arm.

"What are we going to do?" He asked.

"I guess… we have to find somewhere else to meet." I shrugged a shoulder.

"And where is that going to be?" Josh smiled a bit and walked towards me.

"Well, for now?" I turned and looked around the corner to see if anyone was coming. I then placed my arms on his neck. "This is fine."

I leaned in and kissed him. As we kissed and touched, I started to feel somewhat violated. I pulled away.

"I can't do this." I looked down.

"I'm sorry, we're going too fast." Josh apologized.

I giggled a bit. "No Josh, we've gone way farther than that." We both blushed a bit. "I just… it's weird being out here in the open. For everyone to see." I looked out into the quad.

"I know. What? Would you rather go back to my room?"

I bit my lip smiling and looked up at him. "I should just get going." I picked up my backpack from the ground and looked up at him. "Call me, 'kay?" I asked, looking into his deep blue eyes.

"Sure." He told me. I kissed him on the lips again and turned to leave. As I walked back to Billings, I silently thanked god that we didn't get a whole bunch of trouble. We just got a slap on the wrist.

I opened the door to Billings, walked up to my room, and laid down in my bed. I slapped my hands on my face and dragged them down.

"What hit you?" Noelle asked when she came out of the bathroom.

"The new Headmaster caught me and Josh in the Art Cemetery. Well, actually Mrs. Lewis-Hanneman did. And then she told, but, ugh. Now I can't go to the Art Cemetery, not while Josh is there." I sighed. Wait. Noelle?

"OHMYGOD!" I shouted. I ran up to her and gave her a hug.

"God, Reed, you're like a little Yorkshire terrier." Noelle said sarcastically.

"I'm just! God, why didn't you tell me you were back? You weren't here this morning." I asked.

"Well, I lied. I was actually in Easton when I called you. I wanted to get back and redo my make up before anyone saw me. So I slipped in here and then went back out. I need food, real food. So we went out to eat once we got here. And then we got all my bags here and me. I said bye to Dash, and then I was officially back here in this dump until Spring Break. _Woo hoo_." Noelle said sarcastically.

"I would have done something for you." I sighed.

"It's fine. Trust me, there was enough done at Hawaii." Noelle smirked.

_Oh kay._

"Well, it wasn't the same here with out you." I said sitting back on my bed.

"So, I've heard. Latest news, Reed Brennan gets kicked out of Hollis' favorite building on campus." Noelle smirked.

"Ohmigod, you're making me feel worse." I moaned and fell back.

"Who cares, Reed? Seriously, there are so many other places to hook up with Josh." She said.

"Like where?" I asked, propping myself up with my elbows to look at her.

"Lunch." She smiled.

"Noelle!" I shouted dramatically and fell back on my bed again.

"What? It's not my fault that you guys aren't careful!" Noelle said, walking over to her closet.

"That's the thing! We are. We always make sure nobody's there." I sighed.

"Well, then let it blow over." She waved the situation away.

"Well, this is my last year with Josh, at school with me. I want to make it special." I sighed.

"It's also your last year with me at the same school but you aren't throwing me a party aren't you?" Noelle said sarcastically.

"Well, I would of if someone wouldn't have lied to me about when you were going to come back." I told her and I rolled my eyes. "And, Josh is different."

"I can tell." She put her hand on her hip. "And you just have to know by now that I'm full of surprises."

I pulled out my book and attempted to do my homework for the rest of the night. Josh called; I was distracted and talked to him for about an hour. I stayed in my room with some other Billings girls for a while, just so I wouldn't have to run into Headmaster Monroe.

He was so much better than Crom. If Crom were to deal with me and Josh today, we would be in so much more trouble. And I couldn't handle that right now.

Spring break was in about 2 more months. It was horrible. The first week of February was just around the corner. I couldn't wait until April 1st. Then I could officially leave. I couldn't wait to go back home and see my family. I was finally catching up on my calls back home. Two every week. My mom was getting excited. But I had to keep reminding her that it was only for a week that I was there. And then I was in Italy for the next one. Then on the 14th, I was back in school.

"So, how was it here without me?" Noelle asked. She was unpacking her stuff.

"It wasn't bad. But one person tried to ruin that." I said in a sarcastically happy voice.

"Let me guess." Noelle laughed.

"Amberly's here!" Just then, Queen know it all barged in our room. She threw her arms out and breathed in the air. Then she looked over at Noelle. "Oh, Noelle! You're back!" She practically jumped on Noelle and hugged her.

"And there's the answer." I folded my arms over my chest and smirked at Noelle. Amberly ignored my comment and Noelle pushed Amberly off her.

"Whoa!" Noelle snapped and backed away. "I'm not your older sister."

I lightly giggled.

"I'm sorry, I'm just so happy you're back. I have to go over so much with you. Especially, one thing. When you go away again, I believe that _I_ should be put in charge." She placed her hand on her chest.

I was inches away from just kicking her in the back.

"Well, Amberly, Reed's been here longer than you have. And she's much more experienced with Billings than you will ever be. And she certainly doesn't loose her virginity to random guys, who she doesn't know." Noelle said in a sweet voice. But if you were smart, you'd know she was being sarcastic.

Uhm, about that…

"Oh, so you heard!" Amberly gasped.

"Tell me exactly what happened." Noelle said sitting on her bed. Amberly clapped and sat on Noelle's desk chair.

What?! Since when was Noelle so nice the Amberly? She was just telling everyone to vote her out in Billings. Why am I always the one who's confused?

"Well, my friends dared me. I knew him when I was in middle school." She began.

_This was only last year. Oh, go on._

"And I and he used to have this really strong connection. So when I saw him at the party, I knew something was going to happen between us that night. It so totally was!" She said giddily.

_It so totally was! Hahahahahaha. _I mocked her in my mind.

"So my friend was like go up there and start dancing with him! So, I did. And let's just say, it got _hot!_" She gasped. "So he kissed me. Hard. I was amazed. After that he took me to this secret room, I had no idea how he found it, but it was amazing. Perfect for us. So we began kissed, and then he slid his hand down my—"

"Ok!" I said loudly. "I am just going to save myself from having to hear anymore and go." I picked up my book and backpack and left the room.

"Ugh, fine, now you can't eavesdrop anymore!" Amberly spat. I swear she was going to stick her tongue out.

"Oh my god! I think I might die!" Then I shut the door and walked down the hall to Constance Talbot and Kiki Thorpe's room. I knocked on the door, thank god Constance answered.

"Hey." I said.

"Reed! Do you need something?" She smiled. Her freckles seemed to move on her skin.

"Uh, Amberly invaded my room. Do you mind if I study in here?" I asked her.

"No! Come in!" She let me in and shut the door behind me. I sat down on her bed and placed my book and backpack on the ground.

"Kiki's out right now. I think the library getting something." Constance shrugged. "So what was Amberly doing in your room?"

"Welcoming Noelle back." I said, picking up my book.

"She's back already?" Constance asked confused.

"Yeah, she's in my room. And Amberly's telling her about loosing her virginity on New Years." I shuddered at the fact.

"Ew, gross!" Constance laughed. "So what are you working on?"

"History. We're in the same class. Did you finish the reading?" I asked.

"Yup." She smiled.

"Lucky." I sighed.

I stayed in Constance's room until I thought it was safe to return to mine again. I thanked Constance and then left around 10.

"Noelle?" I asked.

"Reed! Where the hell did you go? You missed a good story." Noelle raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, I can only imagine." I sighed.

"She's a very graphic girl." Noelle said.

"Let's just stop there." I told her. Noelle laughed at my reaction to this whole Amberly and some random guy having sex at the New Years Party, that I helped plan. Nightmares…

"Why are you so uncomfortable when it comes to talking about this? You've done it with Hollis." Noelle pointed out.

"How did you know that?… Wait, never mind." I sighed. She laughed again. She really did know everything.

"Please, you were almost too happy the next day on the phone." Noelle smiled.

"I was happy." I stood up a little bit more straight. "But, I'm not uncomfortable, I'm just grossed out. And speaking of, why are you being so nice to Amberly?" Then I said in a more hushed voice, "I thought we were kicking her out."

If she is going to say I changed my mind, she's in for it.

"Reed, its all part of the plan. I act nice to her, and she never suspects it. Then, one day, she's gone! I think I'm just going to say, Billings seems a little bit too crowded. Someone has to go. And no matter what the votes are, I'm saying Amberly's out. And, daddy said I had to be nice to her. But, how many times do I get so see him?" Noelle said in a whisper. We couldn't talk very loud because Amberly was next door.

She was all by herself, just because Sabine was gone. She was sleeping in my old bed. Using my old desk. Oh well, it's all in the past Reed. You don't have to worry about that stuff ever again.

"I'm gunna go to sleep." I told Noelle.

"Ok, I'll be right back." She slipped out of the room and closed the door. I turned off the light and got under the covers. I just wanted to go to sleep. I can show my face tomorrow morning.

"Can you guys believe this weather? It's like we live on an ice cap." Portia shuddered. She was referring to the freezing snow we've been getting mountain loads of. They've had trucks come and clear the snow out 3 times a week. If they didn't, we wouldn't be able to leave our dorms. That would be bad.

"I know. Why didn't I go to school in California?" Rose asked, we laughed.

"Thank god they serve something hot." Vienna rolled her eyes.

"I'm not up there." London joked. They both laughed and high fived.

"Has anyone seen Noelle?" I asked.

There were heads shaking and a few no's. I sighed. She was there this morning but she took a shower after me and I was so hungry I left. She said she'd meet up with me at breakfast. But she wasn't here yet.

"I bet she's just talking to Dash on the phone." Tiffany shrugged.

"Ohmigod, can you believe their getting married?" Vienna squealed.

"She's so going to pick me as a maid of honor!" Portia flashed a smile.

"Says who?!" Tiffany asked, "I've known her since we were in diapers." Tiffany put a grape in her mouth and made a 'so there' face. Oh here we go.

I smiled at them and Josh took a seat next to me just like every other morning. I turned and smiled. He gave me a quick kiss on the lips. We never kissed a whole lot around our friends. It seemed weird. Especially at breakfast. And the last thing we needed was headmaster Monroe to see us doing anything again.

"Hey." I smiled again.

"Hi." Josh replied. He seemed tense.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"Uh…" Before he could finish, someone slammed down a newspaper across from me. I jumped a little. The whole table did.

"They let her go." Noelle had the most evil look on her face. She was leaning on her right leg, arms crossed over her chest. She looked to mad. "They let that bitch go!" She said louder.

Josh put his elbows on the table and placed his head in his hands. He ran them down his face. "Noelle, put it away." He told her.

"Why? Shouldn't we warn people?! What if she comes back, Hollis?"

"Who?" Tiffany asked, she grabbed the newspaper. All of the Billings girls crowded around her. Then they all looked at Noelle, then to me.

"What?" I asked. I didn't get it. "Let me see the paper." Wait, it couldn't be.

"No, it can't be possible. I mean, she almost killed me. And— I— just let me see the paper." I asked. Portia handed it over to me. They all stood up straight to see my reaction.

**TEENAGE GIRL RELEASED**

**Sabine DuLac released to house arrest back in home state**

I couldn't breathe. I was going to faint. I scanned over the article. She was going to come back. House arrest wasn't going to do anything to her. She was going to come after me. And finish off what her sister started. I slammed the paper down on the table. I stood up, and left the room. I couldn't deal with this. This wasn't real. I was just dreaming.

"Reed!" I heard someone call my name. I ignored them. Someone grabbed my arm. I turned around and screamed. If that was Sabine, or Ariana, or someone else trying to kill me, I just wanted someone to stop them. But Josh grabbed me and I tried to fight him off.

"Reed, it's me!" Josh said. "Reed, its Josh."

I stopped and I wrapped my arms around him quickly. Someone came up behind me and put their hand on my shoulder.

"Reed, we're going to get you through this. We won't let her possibly get near you." Noelle told me. I new it was her hand. I let out a sigh and buried my head in Josh's chest. He only brought me closer to me.

I needed to know that this time, someone was there for me. I needed to know, that I wouldn't have to be scared. At least not alone. I didn't ever want to do this alone.

"Let's take her back to Billings." Noelle told Josh. He wrapped his arm around me and led me back to my dorm. We were soon walking up the stairs, and I was sitting on my bed, laying my head on Josh in seconds. He wrapped both arms around me.

That's when the tears came.

"What am I going to do?" I whispered. Tears leaking down my cheeks.

"Reed, you're never going to leave my side." Noelle said.

"Mine neither." Josh added.

"We're here for you, Reed. But if you get any e-mails, any text, or you see anything, you have to tell us." Noelle said seriously. She was trying to be sincere. She seemed like a completely new person.

Josh turned so we were looking at each other. He whipped my tears away on my cheeks. Holding my face. He kissed my forehead. And that's when I really started to cry. That just did it. I have no idea why. Josh pulled me to him and I cried on his chest.

"I don't want to go through this again, Josh." I cried.

"I know you don't, Reed." He kissed the top of my head and placed me in his lap. I put my head on the spot between his neck and his shoulder. I couldn't breathe in his scent, which didn't help. I was too busy crying. I ended up crying myself to sleep in Josh's arms.

I woke up and I was lying on my bed. I heard people talking. I wasn't facing them, so they couldn't tell I was awake.

"What are we going to do?" Noelle asked.

"We can't let anything happen to her." Josh said.

"Well that's for sure." Noelle spat. "I just, why can't Easton do anything? They are the ones who let that psycho in here. They should get a squad around here."

"I know, but they don't think she'll escape. I don't even know how she got out of that crack house she was in."

"She used her 'fake' I'm a sweet little girl Sabine act." Noelle scoffed. "She should be thrown away somewhere."

I decided to just turn around and talk. I sat up.

"How are you feeling, Reed?" Noelle asked. She came and sat down next to me on my bed.

"Horrible." I mumbled. I slouched over and played with my bead spread.

"Reed, she's not going to be going anywhere. They have cops around her house and everything. She can't possibly escape. She'd have to be able to kill them all at once." Noelle smirked.

"Noelle, it's just the whole fact! She tried to kill me, she drugged me, oh and my boyfriend, and she… she's sisters with Ariana." I whispered the last part.

"I know, Reed." She said she gave me a sympathetic look. "I won't let anything happen to you. Same with Josh."

I looked up at Josh. He was standing at the foot of my bed. He went and sat down at my desk chair next to my bed.

"I know I know you guys will. It's just her. She's too smart for us." I told them.

"We'll make it through this. We'll get her back in jail for good." Noelle said firmly. Like she would do it no matter what it takes.

"I don't know if you should stay at Easton." Noelle finally said.

I put my head in my hands. "I knew you were going to say that."

"She's got a point. You need to stay somewhere with an alarm system, and locks." Josh said.

"Where though? And how could I possibly keep up on my school work?" I asked.

"We'll work something out with the Dean. Once he hears our situation, he'll definitely do something." Noelle said.

I could only hope. Now I really couldn't wait for spring break.

* * *

Well, what did you think? First chapter, to my first sequel! How exciting. No really! I am!

So, I was reading my Paradise Lost story today. Yes, I'm just weird like that. I like to take a look in the past sometimes. Scold myself for the horrible writing, and bad plot line! And still wonder why people read my story. LOL, I can just say you guys are the best! Anyways, lol i'm getting off topic! I was reading it and my authors note on the last chapter said I last updated on my birthday... Yeah. My birthday was five months ago... This is bad. I now apologize

I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY! :[ I didn't realize it was that long.

I finally put it up though! And you guys may have noticed, but I have Reed's stalker in here! And it will definitely not be who you thought it was! mwahahah! I'm so excited to see if anyone guesses who it is!

But, in my last story, it was more revolved around Josh and Reed.

Now decision time!  
Do you want a lot of Josh and Reed in this story, since it's their last year together at Easton?

Or

Do you want a lot of drama, and stalker action, because lauren forgot to put it in the last book?

Tell me what you think!

Oh, and reviews? The more I get, the faster I will update! Trust me!

And it helps if you guys update your stories too. I love them all! :] And it gets me out of any possible writers block.

Let the story begin!

~Lauren


	2. Right

I stayed in my room for the rest of the day. I didn't want to come out. I was finally forced to stay in the infirmary by Noelle. She didn't want me kicked out for skipping. Even though she went to the dean. She told him I couldn't come out. I was too scared. And she was trying to negotiate about locks on our doors. That's Noelle. She called me and told me she was still over at Hell Hall.

Josh stayed with me and laid down in my bed with me. I didn't want him to miss out on classes because of me. He shouldn't have to. I tried to him leave, and after a while of arguing I kicked him out.

"Go get an education." I smiled when I pushed him out of my room.

"I can only try. I bet you I'll be thinking about someone all day." He said referring to me.

"Don't." I smile and walked up to him. I placed my hand on his chest.

He leaned in and kissed me. "I'm not leaving you here alone. Just wait until Noelle comes back, and then I'll leave like you want me to." He said like it was a bad thing.

"Its just, you can't miss school because of me." I sighed.

"You're way more important than school." He said playing with my hand.

"That's a lie. Without Easton you'd be stupid." I laughed.

"Without you I'd be dead." He laughed.

"Stop that." I snapped. I smiled, why was he always like this? He's too cute.

"Josh, just go." I whined.

"God, if you don't want me anymore just say so." Josh said.

"No, it's, Josh! Just go." I said seriously.

"Nope." He walked back into my room. I closed the door and leaned up against it.

"What will it take for you to leave?" I asked.

"Reed, I'm only here because I just told you, you're not leaving my side. Not unless someone else is with you." Josh shook his head and sat down on my bed.

"I'm fine in here." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"But what if something happened?" He asked.

"Like what?"

He was silent. I knew he wouldn't say it. He looked up at me with a look that said, 'Really?'.

I rolled my eyes. "Josh, I'm fine, I don't need someone to be…" I trailed off. Because I swear I saw her. Or him, who ever. Someone was there. There was someone standing in the front of the house. It looks like they had a mask on. I couldn't tell who they were at all. I started to sweat. My breathing sped up. I knew then, I couldn't stay. I had to leave Easton. Because this was like a glass box I was trapped in. Everyone could see what I was doing.

"Reed?" Josh asked.

I walked over to the all the windows and shut the curtains.

"Are you ok?" Josh asked again.

I slammed everyone of them close. I turned off the lights. I then sat next to Josh, pulled my legs to my chest, and scooted up next to him. The room was dark. My eyes were well adjusted to the new darkness. It wasn't pitch black or anything. Just darker. It seemed like the room was hotter too.

"What's wrong?" Josh asked facing me. I looked up at him.

"I saw someone." I whispered.

"What?" Josh asked.

"I saw someone standing outside of Billings." I told him again.

"Who was it?" He asked.

"Shhh!" I shushed him. "I don't know. That's the thing, they had a mask on or something. Their probably staring at my window right now. Wait right here." I left him on my bed and walked down stairs I crawled under the windows so no one could see me. I went over to the parlor and turned on all the lights. I didn't bother closing the curtains. I didn't want to look outside again.

I then darted up to the stairs and quickly and quietly went up them. I ran back in my room and shut the door slowly and quietly. I turned around to find Josh were I left him.

"What did you do?" He asked.

"I turned on the light in the parlor. Then they think we're down there." I said. "Josh, we're stuck."

"I'm going to go look." Josh said.

"NO!" I hissed and grabbed his arm. He looked down at me. Already half way up.

_Ding!_

New e-mail. My computer sounded off the ding and I gasped. It was official. I was being stalked.

"Oh no." I put my head in my hands. "Not again, not again." I shook my head.

"It might not be from someone weird, it could be your brother." Josh shrugged. "I'll go look for you."

Josh took a seat at my desk and looked at my e-mail. He chuckled.

"Reed?" He asked.

"What?" I asked my sound muffled from my knees against my face.

"It's just from some store. You're fine." He said. "Bloomingdales is having their annual sale." Josh looked over at the e-mail.

I popped my head up. He smiled at me. "Josh, go look out my window." I told him.

"Fine, there's going to be no one there." He told me. He walked over to my windows and slowly opened the curtain and then quickly opened it. "Reed?"

"If you tell me no one's there…" I trailed off.

"No one's there." He told me.

"What?" I got up and looked out the window.

"Why is the parlor light on?" Noelle shouted. Her voice came traveling upstairs. She got up to our room. "What's going on?"

"Reed saw someone." Josh said.

"Who?"

"I don't know, they were wearing a mask. And they left I guess." I shrugged.

"Well, you had someone here with you. It wasn't like you were alone."

"Yeah, aren't you glad I didn't leave?" Josh asked wrapping his arm around my back.

"Why where you going to leave?" Noelle asked Josh.

"It was my fault." I sighed. "I wanted him to."

"Reed, this is why you always get hurt. You don't ever have someone with you 24/7. If Josh left, and you saw that person out there, I bet they would of came in. And, why would you want him to leave? He is your boyfriend right?" Noelle told me.

"Yes, he is. But I just can't let you guys be my body guards all the time. You have to go to classes, and you have other things to do." I told Noelle.

"Reed, the only other thing that I would have to do, is school work and then meet up with you. And this way, we can be together even more." Josh said.

"What are you going to do about school?" I asked.

"You have friends in your classes, just don't let them leave you. Reed, this is serious. We're not letting anything happen to you again. You can't afford that right now." Noelle said.

She was right, this was by far the best year at Easton.

"But, you guys have to promise that you won't let me get in the way of anything. I don't want it to seem like a chore." I told them.

"That's a deal." Noelle mumbled. Josh nodded and pulled me closer to him.

It has been weeks since I last saw the stalker. I didn't think that they were going to be around much longer. I tried my best not to be paranoid but, it never hurt to be cautious.

So that night, I wanted to take a little bit more off my mind. Josh snuck me into his dorm and we were sitting on his bed talking. How many boyfriends actually do this? Talk to their girlfriends all night long? I know mine did. And that's why I love him so much.

"We're in Noelle's wedding." I told him that night.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm her maid of honor, and she wants me to walk down with you. Because, Dash has like a billion best mans." I rolled my eyes laughing.

"I heard. He called the other day. I haven't heard from him in a long time." Josh said.

"So we get to walk down the isle." I joked to Josh.

He smiled, "I guess we do." Josh leaned in and started kissing me.

See what I mean about taking my mind off things?

The only thing that I wish was that we could have the Art Cemetery back. I miss being in there with Josh. It was our place on campus. And I will never forget it. I hope it does all blow over. I really do. Because this is our last year together at Easton. It _had_ to be perfect.

Pretty soon Josh was on top of me, my hands were in his hair, and his holding himself up. I wish I could open my eyes and see his arms flex. It made me melt.

We keep enjoying ourselves until someone walked in.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Trey apologized and walked in, "I just have to grab something." He turned around.

"No, I should get going anyways." I sighed.

Josh got off rolled off me. "Do you want me to walk you out?"

"No, seriously, you guys I'm over at…Billings, hanging out with Astrid." Trey said, slightly blushing.

"Are you sure you want to leave?" Josh asked.

"I'll stay a few more minutes." I smiled.

"Bye, you two." Trey then closed the door leaving.

"Bye." We both said.

I laid my head on Josh's chest and he wrapped his arms around me. We just sat there, Josh started playing with my hair, just like usual.

"What am I going to do next year?" I asked him.

"What, without me here?" Josh asked.

I nodded.

"You'll be fine." Josh kissed my head. "I'll be up at Yale, and it's not extremely far."

"You won't be with me." I sighed.

"I'm still in the same state, just think of it that way." Josh said.

"That's true." I mumbled.

"I'll still call you every night like I do now." Josh said.

"And I'll come visit. Dash and Noelle are going to be up there too. I will definitely be visiting." I nodded.

Josh chuckled lightly at me. "And we'll spend breaks together. If you don't start getting annoyed with me."

"I could never get annoyed with you." I told him, looking at the button on his shirt.

"That's good, because I feel the exact same way." Josh said.

"Spring breaks only 2 weeks away." I reminded him.

"I'm so happy. I hope it's as good as winter break was." Josh said.

I looked up at him and smiled, he was smiling too. We both know very much what happened winter break. And it was amazing.

"Me too." I put my head back on his chest.

"Are you going to visit your parents the first part? Or second?" He asked.

"I think the first part, then they'll get the spend the rest of their break just relaxing." I said.

"You sure you don't want me to come?" He asked.

"Positive." I told him.

I didn't really want Josh to come see my house, and my parents, and where I lived. I finally told my dad I was dating him after winter break. He took it surprisingly well. I was so relieved.

"You are all grown up, aren't you kiddo?" He asked after a moment of silence.

"I am, dad."

"Well, no matter what boy you're with, you'll still be my little girl."

"It's a deal." I smiled.

"I want to meet him. If you two are serious, we should meet him." My dad said.

"You will soon dad." I told him.

I remember winter break when I told my mom. My dad didn't know then. So I finally broke down and told him. I felt bad that my parents were missing out about what was going on in my life. Josh was a huge part of it, I think he will always be.

I didn't tell either of them how much I loved him. I just said we've been dating for almost a year. They probably figured I more than like him. I just didn't want to open up to my parents too quick. Baby steps… Josh was after all my first serious boyfriend. Thomas and I didn't last very long. And the boyfriend I had back in Pennsylvania lasted about a month. But, a year, that's amazing.

"I'll be waiting for you in Italy. I don't want you to fly alone." Josh said.

"I'll be fine." I smiled.

"I trust you. But if you want me to wait and fly over there with you, I will. My parents might are staying in Maine, so I can wait there, and fly out with you." Josh said.

"Josh, I don't want you to be stuck in Maine while you can be in Italy." I smiled, laughing a bit.

"I seriously would. I don't mind, Reed." He told me.

"I'll just meet you there. I'm probably going to sleep the whole way there. So I wouldn't be fun anyways. And I want you to get settled in before I come." I told him. I would feel way to guilty if I had you wait."

"Fine, I'll be so bored in Italy by myself though." He smiled.

"You'll have almost all the school with you!" I laughed, "Is everyone going at the same time?" I asked.

"Well, I know some of the guys are going a bit early, like before break. I don't know about everyone else. But, I'm not going until the day of." Josh shrugged.

"Are you going alone?" I asked.

"No, Trey is going with me." He shrugged.

"Well, then you have to go. You don't want to ditch Trey." I told him.

"I guess."

I leaned up and kissed him.

I don't think this good bye will be as hard as the last. I am feeling more stable now. I don't think I will cry. I know I will see Josh again. And I'm going to be seeing my family. I can't wait for that. I miss my dad, and my mom. And Scott is probably going to introduce me to some girl he's dating. It's a tradition.

Josh walked me back to Billings, like the gentlemen he was, he kissed me good bye and jogged away. I watched him for a bit, and then slid my key into the lock. I heard something shake the bushes. My heart raced. Their back.

Then flapping wings came flying out of the bush and a bird chirped. I leaned up against the door. I was safe. Now, I just had to get through the rest of the time until spring break. I'd be fine then.

Right?

* * *

Ok, so I think I'm going to have this be another long story... lol is that ok? My last book turned out to be a whopping, what? 41 chapters!? haha seriously, I think it was. Now that's a veryy long story. So I'm going to have Italy, a bunch of other junk I have all planned out, and then Noelle's wedding. So it could easily be 2 stories, but I think it would be fine all brought together. Lol.

You guys are amazing. I can't believe I almost got 30 reviews on just the 1st chapter!! And, I did update quickly. I wasn't going to update again until like next week. But, to me, it was quick. I was extremely busy this whole weekend. And my left side of my back kills, I can't take deep breathes. I haven't sneezed in days! TMI... I pulled some muscle. Hurts like... you know.

Anyways! I have to say THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

And I should say, a big thank you to iLoveBabyPegasus. Her story coming up inspired me to put mine up. Check her out!!

And if you guys keep reviewing, I will surely update very soon! I still can't believe all of those reviews!

Oh, and you know how I asked you guys about Josh or the stalker in this book?

Well, seriously everyone, well besides a few people, said both. So guess what.

I guess it'll be both! I'll just have Josh there a lot when things happen. Can you guys make due with that? :]

Well, anyways, I am so excited for this story to start up! It's only the second chapter, but I think this one will be a lot better than my Paradise Lost book. lol

Well, review please!!

~Lauren


	3. Hollis Twins

The next month was a blur. I can't wait until I'm out of here and back home where I can just be with my family. I couldn't ever sit still anymore. I want to get everything over with. And then after a nice few days with them, I could jet off to Italy and be with the Billings Girls. And Josh. I was really looking forward to being with Josh. I couldn't seem to get enough of him. And to tell you the truth, I don't think I ever will. What can I say? I'm in love.

"Reed?" Noelle asked me while we were sitting at our desk doing homework.

"What's up?" I asked not even looking up.

"Should I do a creamy blue theme? Like aquamarine, and blues? Or like something white and cream colors? Or should I just go for pink?" Noelle asked.

The wedding. That's all she talks about now. Did I forget to say that?

"Well, well, well, The Noelle Lange, asking me for advice? And this isn't just for anything! It's her wedding, the happiest day she'll ever experience!" I gasped.

"Shut up. When you and Hollis get married, I'm going to give you so much crap." Noelle shook her head.

"Ok, I'm just kidding. Sorry. But, Cream colors were so in Christmas, remember? Go for aquamarine." I told her.

"Sounds good! I am so using white too; it'll be like a _Tiffany's & Co. _wedding." Noelle smiled. She went back to her homework.

"You're planning your wedding and doing your high school homework." I smiled.

"I can't believe I have to wait until I'm 18. We're getting married a month after. My birthday is right around the corner. April 20th." She smiled and went back to her work.

"So you're definitely doing this all in May?"

"Even got the date. The 28th. It was the soonest we could get." She said.

"Noelle," I looked at her. "It's only March." I said.

"That's a good thing, Reed." She rolled her eyes.

"I know. And did you plan to do it right after break?" I asked.

"Well, here's the thing I'm flying everyone that's going to be apart of the wedding on my parent's jets on the 24th. Then I'm going to fly everyone else out that will be attending the next day. Then not everyone is traveling at the same time. And then I'll have everyone there on the 25th. Two days before, that will give them time to be settled, and then I will get things knocked out of the way earlier. And if they can't come on that date, they can take the make up plane that's flying out later." She explained. "Then I'll have everyone over in Hawaii. And I'll feel so much better. Then I'm flying everyone home the day after, I'm pretty sure and then I'm staying with Dash. You're more then welcome to stay too. But we're not going to be spending all of our time with you."

"That's a good idea, but no. I'm leaving. Do you know how much school I'm going to miss?" I asked her.

"Not a problem. We're only missing about three days of school. Maybe four if you don't make it back in time. But, I'm staying just an extra day with Dash. And then after I graduate this summer, we're going to begin our honeymoon and travel." She said.

"You should do that instead of missing two weeks of school." I pointed out shrugging.

"Exactly." She smiled and leaned back in her chair.

"So do you have the chapel booked and everything?" I asked her.

"All done. I didn't go to Hawaii for anything, Reed." She smirked and turned around in her chair. I smiled and went back to my homework. I was suddenly excited for this whole thing.

Spring break was the day after tomorrow. I was too excited. I had everything already packed and what I was going to wear planned. I had a plane ticket to Croton Pennsylvania, a ticket to Italy, and then a ticket back to Connecticut. I was all set. I just had to take one more trip than everyone else did. I sighed. I could do it. It was easy. I called my mom earlier she was so excited. I guess they redecorated the house. But my room was still in tact. But dad was doing really well and he just decided to spruce up the house. I couldn't blame him.

"I'm just too excited for Wednesday. I can't wait to put my feet in the Italian sand." Noelle smiled and closed her eyes.

"I can't wait to step foot on Croton concrete." I joked laughing a bit. Noelle rolled her eyes and made a face.

"Are you sure you don't want to come over to Italy earlier? You're only going to have like two days there." Noelle said. The bun on the top of her head shaking as she spoke.

"I'm not going to be there for only two days. I'm going to be there for 7 days. We get two weeks off. I think I can easily split it all in half. And plus, I'm spending more time with you guys than with my own parents." I pointed out.

"I'm just happy my parents aren't going. Or Dash's." Noelle shuddered. "I had enough of my dad gushing over the fact that his little girl was getting married."

I smiled. Typical Noelle. "It'll blow over."

"When? Once he dies?"

"Noelle!"

"What?" She asked.

I shook my head.

"Hey, I need a book from the library. Will you come with me to get it?" I asked Noelle. I couldn't go by myself. Her and Josh would kill me.

"Sure." Noelle sighed. We got up and got our coats on. We walked out the doors of Billings with our hands in our pockets and our heads trying to keep warm. It was suddenly freezing here. I wonder what the weather was in Croton right now. My parents said it was obvious spring was coming. So lets hope there's no snow. Easton was in that part of the transition of winter to spring, were some snow is still in sight. And right when you think it's gone more comes. So far, there wasn't much. I didn't think it was going to snow soon. We just got over a few storms.

"Have you heard anything from, you know who?" Noelle whispered.

I looked to my sides. I didn't want anyone to hear about this. "No." I whispered back. "I hope they stay away. I think that with me always with you or Josh their leaving me alone." I shrugged.

"I know I hope they just get the hint and leave. But I have a feeling it isn't going to happen that way." Noelle looked straight ahead. I looked up too. It couldn't look too suspicious.

Then I felt a poke on my back. I let out a gasp and I jumped around to see who it was. There standing in front of me were two blonde freshman twins. Who go by the names of Tess and Tori Hollis.

"Reed!" They smiled and both hugged me.

"Oh—" I was surprised by the hug and when they let go I finally got to talk. "What are you doing here?" I asked.

"We decided to transfer here after spring break." Tori smiled.

"I thought you weren't coming until next year when your brothers gone." I said.

"Yeah, but we thought, why not? We should get a half of year to annoy him right?" Tess said laughing with Tori. They both looked adorable like they always do. With their own style and same faces.

"So, are you moved in?" I asked.

"No, we are after break when everyone gets back. We're just here now to get familiarized with the campus." Tori answered.

I was too shocked.

"Does Josh know?" I asked.

"Well…" Tess bit her lip.

"You didn't tell him?" I hissed. "Who's going to?" I asked.

"Well… our mom said she told him. But he doesn't know we're here today." Tori said.

"Wait, whose sisters are these?" Noelle asked butting in.

"Oh, Noelle, don't you remember Tess and Tori from the New Years party? Their Josh's little sisters." I reminded her.

"Oh right, which one of you hooked up with Gage?" She asked raising an eyebrow.

"Noelle!" I scolded her.

Noelle shrugged. "Well, what grade are you guys in?" She asked.

"9th." They both said at the same time.

"Freaky." She mumbled. "Well, that means only two more years until their considered into Billings." Noelle smirked.

"Josh would have a fit." I shook my head in my hand.

"Exactly."

"You don't like our brother?" Tess asked.

"Hollis isn't too bad. But there's some times when he can be a little—"

"Noelle, just stop." I whispered.

"Alright!" Tori smiled. Pleased that Noelle and her had the same point of view.

"Well, Hollis Twins, I'm going to take my dear friend, Reed here, to the library. So have fun with the rest of your tour." She looped her arm through mine and started to turn me around. I fought her and turned to the girls.

"I'll see you guys later, you have my cell number if you need anything." I then turned with Noelle and we walked off to the library.

"Can you believe it?" Noelle asked laughing. "Hollis' little sisters are going here now."

"I know, it's weird. I didn't think they were coming until next year." I opened the door to the library.

"Well, I know Josh will have a fit once they start with that whole annoying him act. Good luck with that." Noelle whispered while we walked up the stairs.

"Thanks, I'm gunna need it." I sighed.

"I'm going to go look on the other side; you need that history one or something right?" Noelle asked.

"Yeah. You'll know it once you find it." I shrugged. Noelle nodded and went on to look for the book I needed. The quicker we get out of here the better.

Someone came up from behind me and gave me a kiss on the neck. I turned around, shocked this would happen in the library. My heart stopped when I saw that it was Josh.

"What's with you Hollis' and sneaking up on me?" I whispered smiling.

"What?" He smiled.

Shoot!

"Never mind." I shook my head.

"Oh, you'll never believe this." He shook his head.

"I think I will…" I trailed off and went back to looking for my book. He gave me a confused smile. "Go on." I smiled.

"Ok well, did you know my sister's are coming here?" He asked looking mad.

"You know about it?" I asked.

"How did you find out? Did they call you?" He asked.

"More like told me in person." I bit my lip.

"You mean… their here?" He asked.

I nodded. "I saw them on the way here. Their just looking around." I shrugged a shoulder. "They are really excited."

"Seriously? Ohmigod. Wait, did you come here with—"

"Found it!" Noelle showed up behind us with the book in her hand giving us a small smile. "Hey, Hollis. Nice sisters."

"Thanks?"

"Well, Reed, let's go. I have a shit load of homework that's not going to do itself." Noelle sighed.

"I'll walk her back." Josh volunteered.

"Kay. Later!" Noelle waved and then walked down the stairs. I turned back to Josh when she was gone.

"I hate this. Why do they have to come here now? They couldn't wait another semester?" He looked down at his feet.

I put my hand on his shoulder. "It'll be ok. You will barely see them. They won't sit with us when we eat, and it's not like they are in the same dorm as me or anything." I shrugged.

"I know. But, still. I can't believe this would happen." He shook his head.

"I promise you will barely see them." I told him.

"If only I wished that could be true." He sighed.

"Hey, they won't be on vacation with us." I shrugged a shoulder.

"That's true." Josh cracked a small smile.

"So it'll be just me and you." I said putting my arms around his neck.

"I can't wait." He leaned in and kissed me. I kissed him back but pulled away.

"We can't do this in a library." I said nodding my head over to the other students who were trying to study.

"You're right." He sighed. I turned around and checked out the book I needed. Soon we were walking back to my dorm holding hands.

"Josh!" Two voices shouted.

Josh squeezed his eyes close. "If we don't turn around maybe they'll go away."

"Josh," I laughed and elbowed him lightly. He smiled and elbowed me back. I turned around and found Tess and Tori walking up to us.

"We've been looking all over for you!" Tess said.

"Really?" Josh winced.

"Yeah, we need your help." Tori said.

"I can help." I told them, trying to not get Josh mad.

"Ok! Well, we wanted to know something." Tess smiled.

I nodded, "Go on."

They looked at each other and then looked back at us.

"Can we come to Italy with you guys?" Tori finally asked.

"What? No! I thought you were staying in New York with mom and dad." Josh pointed out.

"I know, but we were in New York for Christmas too. And we need a tan." They both pulled up a sleeve to their coats to show how white they were. Which wasn't a huge deal. They still had a tint of tan.

"No, I don't want to baby-sit you two the whole time!" Josh hissed.

"But, we really want to." Tess pouted.

"Can we talk about this tomorrow? I have to get Reed back and we have a curfew." Josh said, obviously trying to get out of this situation.

"We can't, we're leaving right now!" Tess said.

"Call mom tomorrow." Tori told Josh walked backwards slowly.

"Will do." Josh said.

"Bye!" They both said. They then turned around started to walk towards the front gates where I guess their ride back home was.

"I'm not letting them come." Josh said, I took his hand again and we continued walking.

"Well, won't Lynn and Gia be there? So we're not the only one's they'll be bugging." I smiled.

"I know, but I still just don't want them to come period." Josh said.

"I know you don't." I wrapped my arm through his and stayed close to him.

We finally reached Billings and he gave me a kiss on the lips.

"Bye." I smiled.

"Bye." He smiled back and gently grabbed my chin to pull me in for one more kiss.

I pulled back before I could possible collapse and he waved before jogging away.

I walked up to my room, after making sure the door was shut securely.

"Noelle?" I called once I got into our room. Noelle was in the bathroom. I just sat down at my desk and started up again with my homework. I sighed. It was already 9:40. I had to get to sleep soon.

I looked over at my luggage that was packed next to my closet. Longing for it to finally kick into action. If I could, I would leave right now. I was so tired of school. I just wanted to be home.

_One more day, Reed. _I told myself.

Let's just hope nothing big happens in one day.

* * *

Ok, I have decided, with the help of iLoveBabyPegasus, to just skip ahead to vacation! Because I have bunch of other things to do after. So I thought, if I was a reader of this story, I would start to hate it if it was just a bunch of fillers... so I'm skipping ahead!

Do you guys think this was an ok chapter? Not one of the best. But, hey, a chapter! Next chapter will be Reed going home. So I don't know about you, but i'm excited! :]

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! You guys are great!

Review more, and it'll be up sooner!

~Lauren


	4. I'm Home

I finally picked up that suitcase I wanted to pick up so bad. I was finally leaving. I couldn't wait.

Noelle got a driver to drive the Billings girls and Ketlar boys. But, of course, she had to get another car for the luggage. It was crazy. I sat next to Josh the whole time. All the guys started to think Noelle was getting annoying. I could tell. But I was use to her complaining and making comments and smirking all the time. I was, after all, her roommate.

"Hey, is Amberly going?" I whispered to Noelle on the way there.

"No, she's staying with that guy she was with on New Years." Noelle rolled her eyes. "She barely knows him. Trust me."

I smiled, happy I wouldn't have to see Amberly at all on this trip. "Good, because she's the last thing I need to deal with." I whispered back.

"Seriously." Noelle hissed quietly.

We finally got to the airport and I grabbed my suitcase out of the back. Yes, I splurged on a suitcase before this. I was getting tired of the bags I would carry around.

We all got our luggage we didn't need checked, but I kept my big purse. It had my phone and everything I would need in it.

My hair was pulled back and I was wearing my Burberry jacket and jeans. Noelle said I wore it too much. But I was my favorite jacket ever. I got it last year. I had a pair of _Ugg_ boots on that Tiffany bought me for Christmas. And my boyfriend, who I didn't want to let go of just yet, was holding my hand as we walked around.

"I think that's where I'm supposed to wait." I said pointing at the terminal that had C21 written on it. We passed by it. I was with them to look for their plane.

They finally found it E04. You should of seen the look on Noelle's face when she read the screen.

"You guys, our plane was delayed an hour and a ½." Portia scoffed. "Fucking A."

"What are we going to do the whole time?" Tiffany asked.

"Shop?" Rose shrugged.

"In a airport?" Constance giggled.

The girls laughed.

"How about, we just split up, and then we all have to meet up back here at 9 o'clock. Got it?" Noelle directed.

Everyone nodded. I was just going to have to get back in a hour. That's when my plane left.

"So, what do you want to do?" I asked Josh. We were holding hands and walking through the airport.

"Do you want to get something to eat?" He asked.

"Sure." I shrugged. We ended up going to the Chili's that was right around the corner from where we were.

We ordered and just sat there and talked.

"Did you call your mom?" I asked, remembering what Tori told him to do.

"Yeah, she's coming to Italy too." Josh sighed, I could tell he was mad about this.

"Josh, it's fine."

"No, it's not. I just wanted this vacation to be me and you, Christmas was with my family, why do they have to be with me all the time?" He asked.

"They never see you. You go to boarding school, it's not like they are being selfish." I told him. "And, I love your family."

He was still upset. "I know, they're great. But…"

"We wouldn't really be alone anyways because of the whole school going." I smiled. "And, we'll be in a hotel room. It's not like they'll be living next door to us again."

Josh thought quietly for a moment. "You're right." He gave me a small smile. "And, they'll probably stay in a completely different place. Let's hope somewhere far away. And they can take Tess and Tori with them."

"Tess and Tori aren't that bad." I smiled. We both laughed a bit, knowing they were a pain sometimes.

"That's only because they love you."

"They look up to you so much though." I pointed out.

Josh smiled. "Their still annoying as hell."

"They'll get better." I smiled.

Our food came and we ate. Soon we were out of there we walked out with 15 minutes left to spare.

We walked over to my terminal. He held both of my hands when we got there.

"This is goodbye." He said.

"For only 7 days." I smiled looking up at him. "I'll call you everyday we're apart."

"I will too." He smiled. He pulled me into a hug. I savored it. It was going to be a week without seeing this boy. I could do this…

He leaned back and placed his lips gently on mine. I started to kiss him back. We both pulled away before it turned into something that was completely inappropriate for the airport.

"Bye." Josh said, his arms still wrapped around me.

"Bye." I told him Tightening my grip for a few seconds. Then, I took my arms off his shoulders and he released me.

"I love you." He smiled.

"I love you too." I smiled huge. He leaned in and gave me one more sweet kiss and then walked over to his terminal.

I sighed and watched while he walked away. I heard a swoosh behind me. I quickly turned around, barely noticing anything. Still in a daze from that kiss. I shrugged, picked up my bags, and waited for my section to be called.

It took only an hour and a half to get from Connecticut to Pennsylvania. Everyone was probably already on their way to Italy. But I was just happy to be back home. My parents said they would be at the airport waiting for me. I looked around. And then I finally found them. My mom and dad were the only ones that came. Scott was probably off somewhere he thought was more important.

"Reed!" My mom gasped. She stood up and rushed over to me. I started walking towards her.

"Mom." I smiled and gave her a huge hug. She kissed my cheek and pulled me close.

"I miss you too much!" She smiled.

"I've missed you too." I admitted. I got on my tip toes and gave my dad a hug. He tightened his grip. I knew he missed me a ton.

"It's good to have you back, kiddo." He smiled and patted my shoulder.

I smiled at them. "Let's go get my luggage, I just want to get home." I slung my purse over my shoulder and walked with my parents to pick up my checked bags.

I finally was home again. It looked exactly how I left it. The fencing around the outside of our street, the rust stains on everyone's houses. Due to the iron in the sprinkler water. I even remembered the same bike in my neighbors driveway when we left to drop me off at Easton in the begging of the year. That seemed so long ago. I've been through so much.

"We're home." My dad smiled. I looked through the windshield from the backseat. My house looked exactly the same. The only thing different was there were a few flowers my mom probably planted in the front.

I stepped out of the car and stopped for a moment to take it all in. My memories all came rushing back to me. I looked down at my clothes, and my bag, and thought how much I've changed. How I'm not the same Reed anymore. I'm not little shy Reed from Croton anymore. I am Reed Brennan, a Billings Girl, and potential Ivy League material. If I got a full ride scholarship.

I grabbed my bag and walked in side behind my mom. The house instantly looked different. Their were new chairs lining the old kitchen island. New cabinets were put in. The walls were painted a new fresh color. It still smelt like paint. I spun around slowly. To see what else was changed. They put in new towels, and it just seemed more cleaned up. I turned to both of them.

"It looks great." I gave them a proud smile. I looked around once more while my dad talked.

"It took a while, and cost some, but it was worth it." He nodded.

"I love it. You did a great job dad."

"Well, your mom picked out the paint." He smiled.

"I did," My mom smiled.

"I think it looks really good!" I smiled.

"Well, we'll let you unpack. We'll be here in the kitchen if you need us." My dad said.

I nodded and headed over to my room. I slowly open the door a bit and popped my head in the door. It looked exactly the same.

I couldn't help but smile. My stuff was all there still, soccer trophies, posters, my bed and sheets. It was all here. The stuff I left behind for Easton was here. I set my bag next to the bed and started to look around more. It was a small room, about ¾ the size of my room at Billings.

My small closet held clothes that weren't worthy enough to go with me to school. Like stuff my family would give me on birthdays freshman year. Typical.

There wasn't much to look at here. All my stuff was back at Easton. My room looked empty. I slapped my hands down on my legs and picked up my phone.

I dialed Josh's number. It went straight to voicemail he was probably already flying to Italy. I laid down on my bed. Putting my hand on my forehead.

"Hey, Josh, It's Reed. I'm home. I just wanted to call and let you know. Call me when you get over at Italy. I'll talk to you later. Bye." I hung up and my mom knocked on the door.

Thank god I didn't say I love you.

"Reed?"

"Yeah?" She opened the door a bit and smiled.

"I just can't stand knowing your in here alone! I missed you so much." She came in my room.

I scooted over on my bed she came and sat. "It's so empty in here." I whispered.

"I know." She sighed. "Who were you on the phone with?"

I hesitated. She already knows about Josh. "Josh."

"Oh, he's your boyfriend, right? The one you stayed with in New York?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"Are you two…"

"Do I want to know?" I blurted.

"Yea," My mom shook her head, "Serious?"

I let out a huge breathe and then just held my head up high and nodded. "We've been dating for a year."

"Really? How come you didn't tell me about that earlier?" She asked turning towards me more.

"I don't know. I guess, I just didn't know how to." I shrugged a shoulder.

"Well, I want to know about your life. I really do. And I want to meet him. If you guys are serious." She smiled and put her hand on mine.

"That's what dad said." I smiled.

She nodded. "We'll have to meet him sometime when we come up to Easton. Or maybe he'll come here." She offered.

"No! Mom, he's not coming here." I whined.

"Why not?" She asked.

"Well, this isn't the exact best place to have my boyfriend over." I sighed.

"Well, Reed, if you say you two are serious, I don't think he would mind where you live. If he does, he isn't worth it." My mom pointed out.

I sat there, looking up at her dumbstruck. Damn. She was right. But, I still didn't want to have the embarrassment of having Josh here.

She smiled, knowing she was right.

"Scott!" My dad shouted. The door slammed close. Scott. I couldn't wait to hug him. I missed him so much.

Me and my mom looked at each other before running over to see him. I was laughing the whole way there, me and my mom racing to go see my brother. Who would of thought?

"Scott!" I shouted. I ran up and hugged him he hugged me back.

"I missed you." He smiled. I pulled back and took a step away.

"It seems like forever. I had no one to bug." I said pushing him in the shoulder. He barely moved.

"Well, enough of this. I have someone to introduce you to." He smiled and stepped aside. I rolled me eyes and smiled. Of course. A girl.

And I was right. Wobbling into the house came a girl with curled blonde hair. She looked bugged but happy. Maybe it was good I was going to have another girl here, someone to hang out with.

The girl looked up.

"Holy shit!" I hissed.

"Reed!" My dad scolded me.

"Amberly!?" I shouted.

"Hello, Reed." She smirked. Stand up straight.

"Oh, you two know each other." Scott smiled wrapping his arm around her.

"Yeah, of course I know the little slut of the school." I said under my breath.

"Reed Brennan!" My mom shouted.

"Wait a minute," I shook my head. Then my eyes went big. "You're the girl she lost her… Ohmigod." I thought I was going to faint. I had to sit down.

"What the hell are you talking about?" My dad asked.

"Are you surprised?" She asked her hand on her hip. I took a seat on the couch and placed my elbow on my thighs and my hands over my face.

I shook my head and repeated over and over, "This isn't happening."

"Well, I'm Scotts father and here's his mom." My dad introduced her while I was having a god damn mental break down on the couch.

"We're so sorry for Reed's behavior, you seem like such a sweet girl."

"Aha!" I laughed popping my head up. This really can't be happening.

Only too bad it was.

* * *

Ok! So what do you think? I finished it up and it's about 12:45 midnight... :]

I have my first game to cheer at for the season tomorrow! i'm so excited!

so I'm up and I decided to write for you guys!

thanks so much for all the reviews!

oh and what did you think? Didn't see that coming, huh? ;]

~Lauren


	5. Suprises

"So, how did you two meet?" My mom asked Amberly and Scott, who were holding hands across from me on the couch. I was sitting on the love seat in the family room. My mom and dad sitting on the long couch next to me. There was a table in the middle of the couches. Were food and drinks waited for us to eat them. I couldn't eat. My stomach was twisting in betraying knots.

"Well, the internet. On myspace. It was actually really funny, because Little Reed over there, had a New Years Party. Amberly told me about it and I came over to see what it was all about. And we just hung out and spent the whole night together." Scott said smiling down at Amberly.

Gag.

"We finally started to be serious from there and on. And we've talked on the phone every night." Amberly smiled at my parents.

And the academy award for best actress goes to… Amberly Carmichael!

"You told us about that New Years party." My mom told me. "How did you make it, Scott? I thought you were with Eddy in New Hampshire?" My mom asked.

"Well, I told Eddy about the party and he wanted to go. So we did." Scott explained.

"How did you get in? It's a invitation only party?" I asked.

"Amberly snuck me in." He smirked.

I gave her a nasty look.

"But, I'm so happy we're together." He smiled. "Oh, and Reed?"

"What?" I asked.

"Cute boyfriend." Scott smirked and then winked.

"Ohmigod." I moaned and dropped my head in my hands.

Everyone laughed. I looked up. "Hey, Scott?" I smirked, sitting up more.

"What?"

"Isn't this illegal? You're what? 19. And Amberly's a freshman."

"It's not like I'm some 50 year old creep. And I've already meet her parents. They love me." He smiled.

"So? It's still bad."

"She's only 14?" My mom asked.

"Well, I'm actually 15." Amberly smiled. Like that helps anything.

"Listen, mom we just care about each other. And that's all that matters, right?" Scott asked.

"Scott, you know if you two were to ever do anything…" My dad looked up at him. "It would really be illegal."

They both looked scared shitless.

I started cracking up. Scott started to sweat. My mom gasped. And Amberly just looked down at the food on the table her eyes big.

"Have you two…?" My dad trailed off.

I was lying back in my chair, wondering if I should tell on them or keep it a secret.

"No." Scott said, not sounding true at all.

My dad and mom bought it after a 5 minute stare down. They sat back and looked at each other.

I looked at my phone, wanting it to ring so badly so I could leave. It was the most awkward of silences in this room. My heart went out to Amberly in a way. She probably never knew it was illegal. Wait, what are you thinking, Reed? You hate Amberly. She hates you. She went around and bragged off that she lost her virginity to some guy who turned out to be your brother.

I didn't even loose mine until I was a sophomore.

Scott sighed. "We better start unpacking. Is it ok if Amberly stays in my room with me?"

Both of my parents looked up at him. Shocked that he would ask such a question. We didn't have a spare room for her to sleep in. Where else would she sleep?

"Sure. But, if something happens." My dad pointed at Scott. "You're on the couch."

Scott nodded and him and Amberly ran off to Scott's room. I rolled my eyes.

"Reed, why are you acting this way?" My dad asked me. When they left.

"I don't like Amberly. I go to school with her and she was out to get me earlier this year." I sat back and crossed my arms over my chest.

I probably have only been here a hour and I'm already mad.

"Just give her a chance. And you're going to be living with her for 7 days. So just put up with it." My mom said. "Whatever she did I don't think can be that bad."

"She went through my room and made a huge mess when I wasn't there." I said. Keeping a straight face.

My mom shook her head. "Well, I just can't believe that Scott would bring home a 15 year old."

"I know." My dad agreed.

I got up and walked into my room. I didn't want to hear them anymore. I didn't want to hear Amberly. I didn't want to hear Scott. I wanted Noelle to call me. Or Josh. I really wanted to tell one of them about Amberly. I sent Noelle a text. She'll get it once she gets off the plane.

**To: Noelle**

**From: Reed**

**S.O.S.**

It sent in seconds and I fell back onto my bed. I couldn't believe this. How could Scott do this to me? Oh, that's right. He's my older brother.

I sighed. This can't be happening.

My phone rang, who could be calling me now? Everyone was on their way to Italy.

"Hello?" I asked.

Nothing.

"Hello?" I asked again annoyed. "Are you just going to sit there and breathe into the phone?" I asked.

"No!" A girl's voice giggled.

"Who's is this?" I asked.

"Who do you think this is?" The girl shot back.

"Kiran?" I asked.

"We have a winner." Kiran laughed.

"Ohmigod! Why are you… where…what?"

"Ok, just take a breathe. I just called to ask you guys if you were in Italy, I've tried everyone's phones. You're the only one who picked up."

"Because, I'm not going to Italy. Well, not yet." I answered.

"What? Why not? I'm waiting here on the beach for everyone to get their asses over here." She said.

"Well, I'm home in Croton." I told her, wedging a picture of me and Noelle in my mirror. There was a wood lining around the long thing. I just stuck the ends of pictures there and they would stay.

"Are you ever getting out of there and coming here?" She asked.

"7 days."

"What?!" She gasped. I put a picture of me and Josh on my mirror too.

"I had to come see my family." I told her.

"Well, when's everyone else coming?"

"Their on the plane right now." I said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, that's why they wouldn't answer their phones. Have you been drinking?" I asked.

"Hello, of course. Well, I'll see you when we get over here, Reed. Bye!" She hung up and left me looking at my phone with a crazy face.

I placed the phone down on the bed and sighed. Running my hands across my face. Why was life so difficult? I felt the need to punch something really hard. I kept repeating the same damn points in my head though.

How could Amberly be here? And when is the plane to Italy going to land so I can call Noelle?

Someone walked right into my room. Didn't knock, and didn't ask. I turned around to see who it was.

"Listen." A voice snarled. It was Amberly. She wasn't going to talk down to me at my house now, was she?

I crossed my arms over my chest, ready to get a good laugh.

"Just because you're Scotts sister, doesn't mean I'm leaving. And you guys live in a dump, so that's another factor showing how much I love him. And you know what else? I think that you should just shut your little trailer trash butt up and stop talking!" She stomped. I started to laugh a little.

"Amberly, I haven't said a word to you since you got here." I pointed out.

"Well, for future reference—"

"You'll know not to come stomping in my room." I said turning her around and shoving her out of my door. I locked it.

She began knocking. I opened it. "That's how it's going to have to be." I gave her a fake smile.

"Fine, can you take that stick out of your ass though?" She asked using the same tone I used.

"There's not one there. You just need to grow up." I then shut the door locked it and began unpacking just a little bit.

I woke up the next morning with my back feeling like it was twisted in so many weird directions. I had a really bad mattress. I looked at my phone and saw nobody called whatsoever. I started to go through the usual, what if their plane crashed? I'd be notified by now right?

I sighed and tried to shake it out of my head. It can't happen. I pulled the sheets off me and got up. My sweats were dragging on the floor a bit. And I was wearing a tank top. I walked into the kitchen to find only my mom and dad there. Scott's door was open. I gave them a confused look and sat down at the table.

"Where's Scott?"

"Him and Amberly left." My mom said looking down at a magazine.

For good?

"To get groceries. We need bread." My dad said taking a bit of toast. And went back to reading his newspaper. I sighed, and slumped my shoulders. My arms hung down low. I couldn't stay looking like this. Amberly would use it for blackmail. I got up and washed my face and brushed my teeth in the bathroom. I put on a little bit of make up. That'll do.

When I got back to the kitchen Amberly and Scott were unloading the bags they just brought in. I leaned up against the wall and smiled. Amberly was actually doing physical labor. Who new?

My phone that was in my sweat pants pocket started buzzing. I pulled it out and saw Josh's picture on the screen. I smiled and answered before walking out of the room.

"Hello?"

"Hey," Josh greeted.

"Hey, when did your plane finally land?" I asked shutting my door.

"Well our plane was delayed until 12 in the afternoon. So we didn't get going until 12:30. It was about 10 ½ hours on the plane. And I got here at 10. But it's 4 hours behind here, so really it was 6. We were all so tired that we just crashed in our rooms. I'm so sorry I didn't call you, Reed." He apologized.

"It's fine. But, you'll never guess who Scott brought home." I said in a hushed voice.

"Who?" He asked.

"Amberly."

"What?"

"Yeah, I guess at the New Years party they met. I didn't even know he was there! And I guess they met online." I explained.

"Wait, didn't she lose her virginity at your party?" Josh asked.

"Yup, so Scott."

"Even though it's illegal?" He asked.

"Yeah, well, my parents asked if they've done anything. Because Scott's in his second year at college. And Amberly's a freshman in high school. Well, anyways, they looked guilty. They so did. The thing is, if Scott does something to Amberly, like cheats on her or something, she'll break up with him. And I'm pretty sure charge for rape." I shuddered.

"That's… really weird. I can't believe. Amberly actually is with your brother?" He said trying to piece it all together.

"I know. I don't know how I'm going to survive seven days with her. I wanted this vacation to her Amberly free."

"Well, when you come to Italy, it will be." Josh pointed out.

"I can't wait." I smiled.

"So are you all unpacked and settled?" He asked.

"Yup." I smiled. "What about you?"

"I'm good. There's another closet in the hotel room if you want it." Josh smiled.

"I'll take it." I smiled. "I can't wait until I'm in Italy with you."

"I know, it seems like it's going to be another two weeks, like winter break was." He said.

"I know. But it's only a week, and you'll be able to go through it easier than I will. I have little miss Amberly over here."

"I have Noelle." Josh chuckled.

"Noelle isn't as bad as Amberly." I sighed.

"Whatever, you'll be fine, Reed. And when she's bugging you, just call me. I'm always here." Josh told me.

"Thanks, I will."

"Anytime."

"I'll let you go. You probably have something you want to go do." I told him.

"We can just talk you know." He chuckled lightly.

"Really? There isn't anything you had planned?" I asked.

"Just to call you." He said.

"Ok, so what is everyone doing?" I asked.

"Well, we're all over the place." Josh explained. "I know Trey and Astrid are here. And they are out looking around. And I think all of your friends are tanning and whatnot."

"I see." I smiled. "What are you doing?"

"I am sitting on my bed talking to my amazing girlfriend." He said.

"That sounds like fun. But I'm not going to keep you trapped in your room while you're on vacation. So, I'm gunna go." I said.

"Reed, it's ok, really."

"Josh." I smiled. "Just go! Have some fun. Find some places to show me when I get there."

"I'll try."

"Ok, I'll call you tonight."

"Ok, I love you." He said smoothly.

"I love you too." I smiled.

"Bye."

"Bye." I smiled and hung up. My mom chose then to walk in. Shit. She didn't hear anything did she?

"Reed?" She asked looking a bit frightened. "Do we have to talk about something?"

* * *

The next four days were horrible. Amberly made herself right at home and became more of a bitch towards me day by day. I couldn't believe that her and Scott were together still. It's getting annoying. Let's hope it doesn't last. I mean their like 5 years apart. That's just creepy.

My parents, well mainly my dad, had a fit. As you know, my mom heard me tell Josh I loved him. And she talked to me about it. I told her to truth. What was I supposed to say? No, I hate him? Well, I could of said it was Noelle. But, really?

Well, anyways, my dad yelled that I didn't know what love was.

"I'm a junior in high school dad! I'm not a little girl anymore. I'm going to college in 1 year." I shouted.

"I don't care, you shouldn't love someone until you are in college or even after that!" My dad shouted.

"Dad! I love Josh, I've never felt this way for anyone else! Why can't you just realize that I'm happy? He would never leave me. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me!" I shouted back.

"That's what you think." He snarled.

The whole night consisted of shouting at each other. I called Josh and cried and explained quietly what happened. He just listened and told me that he was so sorry, and said other comforting words. I just wish I was over in Italy now.

Amberly and Scott were staying here for the rest of break. They really had no other place to go. Unless Amberly had him at her house. But, I think my parents liked their company.

I haven't talked to my dad in three days. It feels like it's been a decade. We would just look at each other and then look away. I planned on making up with him soon. Since I was leaving tomorrow. I didn't want to leave fighting with him.

I see this whole fight as being pointless. He just has to learn that I'm not a little girl. When I was talking to him about Josh before, he was perfectly fine. He probably thought it was a temporary thing.

I started packing and folding everything up into my suitcase again. I was finally going to Italy. And it was going to around 11 hours on the plane. What was I supposed to do?

My plane actually stops in Maine. It's funny, because Josh said that he would wait there for me. It would of worked out, but it's ridiculous having him fly in and out of Italy so many times. He's staying there. But he knows I'm stopping in Maine because I told him I'd call him once I land there.

My mom and me have been talking. She thinks it's stupid my dad is overreacting. I heard them fighting over it in their room last night. The walls are thin here. You can hear a lot.

I walked around my crammed room to the closet were I had most of my clothes hanging. I opened the door and a note came falling down onto the floor. I frowned at it and bent over to pick it up.

_Don't think this changes things._

_-._

What the heck is that supposed to mean? Don't think this changes things? I started to sweat. My heart sped. Panick was over coming.

Now I really wanted to get out of here.

* * *

Ok, sorry it's been a while! :[ but here you go! it's not the best chapter, good things will come in the next though! I promise.

And holy crap, I have 100 some reviews and only 4 chapters up! well, now 5.

But, I really have to thank all of you! It means a lot!

Oh, and I don't think I'm going to read suspicion.

Someone just tell me what happens. There is now hope whatsoever on Josh and Reed getting back together. I think Kate's over it. If you read the summary on a site, you'll understand why.

And, I'm not planning on writing another sequel to this one. I know it's early, but idk... private series isn't as good as it used to be. And I might just give up on the series as a whole.

well review!

~Lauren


	6. Goodbye

My phone started buzzing my pant pocket. Because of my current state it made me jump. I was searching my tiny closet looking for a sign of anyone being in there.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey, Reed." It was Noelle.

"Noelle, I found a note." I told her in a rush. Why was she calling me now? Did she have something to do with it? I was just about to call her.

Noelle was silent. "Where?" She asked calmly after a minute.

"In my closet." I told her letting out a weak sigh. I just wanted to figure out where this came from.

She was silent again.

"Are you going to say anything?" I blurted.

"Reed, I'm thinking. This person must be serious. If they followed you all the way to Croton then they are very determined." She sighed.

"Noelle, what am I going to do?" I cried.

"I really… have no idea." She confessed.

The room seemed like it was spinning. I couldn't stop thinking about what I could become if I got on a plane by myself. I didn't want to leave anymore. But then I really wanted to. "Should I stay here?"

"No, I'm going to send my jet over there. There is no way anybody who is stalking you will be on the plane." She told me.

"Noelle, thank you so much. It means a lot to me." I told her sincerely.

"Anytime, Reed, oh, and by the way. I'll have a surprise for you on the plane." Noelle said.

Should I be scared? "Ok." I said unsure. I sat down on my bed. One hand pushing up on my knee. I bit my lip and tried to get everything about this note of my head. I got up and placed it in a little box in my dresser. I got it when I was six and kept it ever since. It was pink with a green lining around the edges. At the time I thought it was the most beautiful thing ever. Now it was just another useless toy from childhood. Until now.

I unclasped the lock and opened the lid to the box. I took out all of the trinkets and little pieces of junk in there and placed the note at the bottom. I closed the lid shut and pushed down the flap that locked it. I then tossed it in my bag and zipped the suitcase close.

"Guess who Scott brought home." I began on the story to Noelle.

The next morning I showered, put on some sweats, a tank top, and placed my juicy zip up jacket Tiffany got me in my carry on. Noelle said her jet would be at the airport at 9. I wasn't going to get to Italy until late. Bummer.

I rolled my suitcase out into the kitchen and drank the glass of orange juice my mom gave me.

"I'm so sad to see you leave, Reed." My mom confessed. She started spreading butter on her toast.

"Is dad up?" I asked.

"Yes. He's in the room." She said not looking up.

"Is he still mad?"

"I think he's coming to realize you're growing up." She let out a sharp sigh.

I got up and walked over to my parents room. I knocked. I was going to have to apologize myself. I couldn't get on a plane without say good bye to my dad. Or at least making things rights. "Dad?" I heard myself say.

"Yeah?" He asked. I walked in the room and found him packing up his bag for work. "Oh, Reed. Are you leaving?"

"Yeah…" I said. I had to say this. "Dad, I'm sorry you think I'm growing up too fast."

"Reed, no. I knew about this boy. And you told me you two were serious. I just didn't know you loved him." He sat down on his bed.

I was silent.

"Are you going to bring him here at all?" He asked. Cracking a small smile.

I smiled. "I'm not sure."

"Well, if you two go off to Italy together, I think we should all meet him." My dad said.

"Ok, dad." I smiled.

"Have a good flight, Reed." He got up and hugged me really tight. I hugged him back and kissed his cheek. We walked into the kitchen and he was only there for a few minutes before he had to leave. I gave him another hug and he was gone.

I sighed. "I better get going, do you want to drive me to the airport?" I asked.

"I would love to. Let's take Scott and Amberly too."

So I was in the car hearing Scott and Amberly sucking on each others faces in the back seat. Did I ever come across the fact that Amberly's laugh made me want to retch?

"Are we there yet?" Scott asked. I rolled my eyes.

"15 more minutes." My mom sighed. I felt bad for her. She had to go through this on the way home.

They finally stopped and I thanked god silently before stepping out of the car. My mom parked in the lot and helped me get my bags out. I started to get that pit feeling in your stomach. I always get it when I travel. Then I get the urge to pee. And everything just feels not right.

_It's ok_. I tried to convince myself. There really isn't anything to worry about. Beside that note. Besides my stalker. Besides a lot more.

I sighed and shook it all off. We all started to walk to the entrance and through security. We finally made it to the gate were the jet was. I turned to my mom and gave her a big hug.

"I'll call you when I land."

"Ok," She nodded. "I love you."

"Love you too." I smiled. "Bye, Scott." I opened my arm for a hug. He looked over at me. As if he was surprised I was there. Amberly shot me a 'yeah right' look and placed the back of her hand under her chin. I rolled me eyes as Scott hugged me. "Bye, Amberly." I said ruthlessly. She gave me a fake smile and huffed.

I turned back to my mom and said bye one last time before stepping into the hall that led to the plane. My stomach flipped in my body. I looked behind me, the door was still open and my mom and brother were watching me walk away. I waved and bumped into someone.

"Whoa!" I said and stepped back before I had the chance to fall. I looked up to see a man dressed in a suit looking down at me.

"Are you ok, miss?" He asked worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I didn't see you there." I blushed.

"I'm so sorry. I'm Jerry, I've been the Lange's pilot ever since their daughter was a baby." He said. He looked around 40. He must have been young when they hired him. He was an Italian man, his hair was gelled back and he had many badges and metals on his coat. I knew the Lange's would only hire the best.

"That's nice." I smiled.

"We offer you the most luxurious plane ride at your fingertips. Our flight attendant, Martha," Martha waved at me. She was fluffing up a pillow. I smiled and waved back.

"Will be here to met your every need. And Elizabeth, and Taylor will be here to give you any beverage or meal you would like on our menu." He handed me a little menu that read "_Lange Jet 40260" _on the cover. He quickly went back on about the plane.

"This jet is very fast, so you will be at your designation in no time." He smiled. "If you need to ask me anything, I will be in the front controlling the plane. But if it is an emergency, I will have my co-pilot, Steven," Steven bowed his head at me and I cracked a small smile at him. "Will be here to help." Jerry smiled as if that made him proud. I looked up at him, my jaw slightly hanging. I shut my mouth and shook my head.

"I'm Reed Brennan." I introduced myself. I held my hand out to shake and he gladly took it. "I'm Noelle's good friend." I looked around her jet. It had a row of partner seats, facing the front of the plane, on the left side. And on the right were 4 swivel chairs that were implanted into the floor. They reclined and were huge. Above the seats were overhead compartments to but carry on in. And at the back of the plane was a little kitchen where all the food came from. It was cramped, but still there.

"That's great. She told me." He smiled. I smiled back.

"Well, if you are ok with it, I think we're going to get ready to take off." He said. I nodded and said thank you before he walked into the front of the plane. I looked over at the tan leather seats on the left and took a seat in the middle part. I sighed and leaned back in the chair. It was amazingly comfortable. I feel asleep instantly. I was so tired.

A hour later the speaker came on overhead and I jumped out of my sleep.

"Miss Brennan, we have arrived at your first destination." Jerry voice came through the intercom. "We are in York, Maine. It is 10:02 AM, the weather is partly cloudy and winds are blowing at a nice 7 miles per hour."

"We're here?" I asked the flight attendant.

"No, ma'am, we're in Maine." She smiled politely.

"Why?" I asked confused.

"So we can make sure the plane is fine before we fly over seas." She explained.

"Oh, thank you." I smiled. She smiled and walked off..

I took this as a chance to call Noelle.

"Hello, Reed. Why are you calling me? Aren't you on the jet I sent?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'm on. But they stopped before we flew over the ocean. Just to see if everything was going to be ok." I explained.

"Makes sense." She shrugged. "It's so gorgeous down here. A great 79, eh 80 degrees. It's better than that freaking snow back at Easton." She scoffed.

"I know. I can't wait until I'm there." I told her. "So what are you doing?" I asked her.

"I am lying out on the beach." She sighed. "I need a tan."

"Is everyone with you?"

"Of course. Kiran found this guy, they've been attached at the hip. He's so Italian looking it's crazy. But, that's Kiran for you. She say's they'll have to break up when she leaves. She's can't have a boyfriend while traveling around so much for modeling." Noelle said casually. I laughed. That's Kiran alright.

"Yes, and once we get hungry we're going to this adorable restaurant. It's really nice though. Not like we'd go to anything less." Noelle said.

"That sounds like fun. I don't think I'll be there until..." I trailed off. With the time zone difference I didn't know.

"I think you'll be here at like 8 US time. But it'll be 1 in the morning here. Don't worry we'll be up waiting for you." She told me.

"Thanks, you don't have to. I can see you in the morning." I told her.

"Well, no. We'll be up at 1. It's fine."

"We are now taking off, Miss Brennan." Jerry told me kindly.

"Ok, thank you." I nodded. He returned to the captains cabin. "Noelle, I have to go. We're leaving." I told her.

"Ok. Hey, there's a TV in there. And have Elizabeth and Taylor bring out something for you to eat. Later!" Noelle hung up and I looked to my right. That was a TV above the huge chairs. And there was another above my head. The flight attendants moved the seat I was sitting on and the one next to it to make a little recliner like chair. Yeah, the seats moved too. What did this plane not have?

I asked Taylor to bring me a few pillows. And Elizabeth went and brought out food for me. I didn't even have to ask. I thanked them both nicely. Elizabeth brought out a printed page that looked like the food menu. But this page had every DVD imaginable. I chose a few DVDs and put them in myself.

The whole plane ride I watched TV and slept. I was really tired. I was up last night thinking about a lot. I was too excited to sleep. And too nervous to stay awake. I didn't know what to do with myself. So I stayed up until 1 in the morning watching cartoons. I felt like a kid again. But only, when I was a kid, I couldn't hear Amberly and Scott wake up every 4 hours to do something. It varied a lot. Sometimes they went to get food. Or they came out and watched TV with me. When that happened, I just left and went back to sleep. I couldn't stand the fact Amberly was in my house.

I fell asleep a lot too. I dozed off after movies. And woke up to watch another one. That was basically it though. And, finally, at 1 in the morning. I was here. I didn't expect many people to be at the airport waiting. I know Noelle wouldn't go. She would be back at the hotel with everyone.

The plane just made a extremely soft landing, and we are now racing down the track.

"We have now just arrived at Sicily, Italy. It is a nice 76 degrees here, and there is now chance of rain. The current time is 1:17 AM. I hope you enjoyed your trip. Have a wonderful time in Italy." Jerry's voice came off the speaker. I called Noelle.

"I'm here." I told her.

"Ok, we're all waiting for you back at the hotel. Josh is going to pick you up." She told me.

"Really?" I asked yawning.

"Eh, I don't think this is going to be a very long welcome party." She said.

"There's a party?" I asked alertly.

"Not really, it's just our friends here to welcome you I guess. We're probably going to tell you a few stories and then go to sleep. Because I'm tired." She said. I rolled my eyes and smiled.

"That's fine. I'm tired too."

"Well, you should be. You were just on a plane for 11 some hours." She scoffed and laughed. "We just got back from this concert thing."

"That's great. I'll see you in a bit. Bye!" I hung up and the plane came to a slow stop. I finally unbuckled and got up. I grabbed my purse and my luggage I brought on the plane. I didn't check anything, I didn't feel like it. The crew was all lined up at the door of the plane. It was opened and led to another hallway. Which, I assumed brought me to the main airport.

"Thank you." I said to each one of them as they waved me off. I walked down the tunnel and arrived to a waiting area for the next plane to come once Noelle's left. There were people sitting down, bored and tired looking. I looked around. I couldn't find Josh. I walked off to the area beyond the waiting seats. Someone came and wrapped them arms around me. I jumped and turned around. It, of course was Josh. I dropped my luggage to my feet and jumped into his arms. He lifted me right off the ground. When he put me back on the ground, I put my arms around his neck and gave him a passionate kiss. He kissed me back. I pulled back before my knees would give out.

"I missed you." I said looking up at him.

"I missed you too." He said giving me one more amazing kiss. We stopped and stayed close, just looking at each other. Taking each other in. I wish we could of stayed like this for a longer time, but I didn't want anything to get stolen. I looked down at my luggage and picked up my purse and duffel bag while Josh picked up my rolling suitcase.

"Josh, I can take it, really." I told him.

"No. I'm taking it. I can even take that bag too." He said referring to my duffel bag which was in my left hand. "You must be exhausted." He told me.

I couldn't fight that. I was really tired. He kissed my temple and put his left arm around my back. I got shivers of affection down my spine. They made me smile.

Josh drove back to the hotel. My stuff was in the trunk of his car he got. The only thing on me was my purse. Our hands were entwined on the center console. I just hung up the phone. I called my mom and told her I'm in Italy.

"So, are you happy you got to see your parents?" He asked.

"Yeah, I guess. I'm not happy Amberly was there. I don't know why Scott needed to have a 9th grade girlfriend anyways." I shivered.

"They seriously had sex at your party?" Josh asked making a turn.

"Yup." I said popping the p.

"That's gross. I can't imagine Amberly dating anyone at our school though. She's so damn annoying." Josh said.

I started laughing. "It's true." I looked up as Josh stopped the car. "Red light." I whispered.

"I remember this." Josh gave me that sexy smile and leaned in to kiss me. I kissed him back and pulled away before it had a chance to turn green.

"So what did _you_ do while I was gone?" I asked Josh.

"_I _hung out with Trey and Gage a lot. Dash was at Noelle's beck and call all the time." Josh smiled. "We actually went sailing." He raised his eyebrows. "I usually do it in California. But earlier this week it was windy. Trey's idea."

"That sounds like fun." I smiled and squeezed his hand. "You don't have to hang out with me everyday like Dash and Noelle are doing." I told him.

"No, I'm going to be with you whenever you want me to." Josh told me, glancing down at me.

"Fine by me, I want you to hang out with the guys too, you know. And I know you get tired on Noelle." I told him.

"Ok, and we're going to spend some time alone too, you know." He said nudging me lightly with his elbow.

"Oh, I know. I'm actually looking forward to it." I told him with a huge, goofy smile.

"That's good, because I am too." He smiled and looked back at the road.

I knew this was a good idea.

* * *

Ok, so I was on kate's blog the other day and read a hand full of spoilers for suspicion. ehh. i was excited about the last 3 pages of the book! THEN i found out what really happens. So now I'm just like ughh. I hate this.

But, i'm going to read it. Even though it'll be torture. I will, and I'll try to force myself through it!

but i'm not ending this story once i comes out because it's a completely different plot line. I doubt what's happening in this story is going to happen in Kate's suspicion.

Well, anyways! thanks again to all the reviewers!

And, I'm sorry to everyone who wanted to see what would happen to Amberly. Nothing bad right now. But soon... :]

This is going to be a veryyyy long story! So have fun reading it!

~Lauren


	7. Stealing Glances

So far, my vacation to Italy was amazing. When Josh drove me to the hotel, everyone was in Noelle's suite. They all welcomed me to Italy and caught me up on the latest drama. Josh stayed by my side the whole night. And we went back to his room and got ready for bed. As I slowly took off my make up, I groaned. I hated when Josh saw me with no make up. I looked hideous. Like I'm naked. Wait, he's seen me naked. Does that change things? I continued taking the black liquid off. When I was done, I looked at myself in the mirror. I didn't take _all_ of the make up off. I was feeling lazy.

Josh walked up behind me and wrapped his strong arms around my slim waist. He kissed my neck all the way up to my cheek. I smiled and put away my stuff. I turned around and faced him. He stopped kissing me.

"You need to stop." I teased, smiling.

"Stop what?" He cracked a smile.

"Growing. Before we know it, I won't be able to reach you anymore." I told him leaning on a hip.

"Then I'll just have to pick you up." He chuckled. I started laughing when he picked me right of my feet and lifting me onto him. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his shoulders.

"Yeah, I could get used to this." I put my forehead against his.

"Me too." He smiled before reaching up to give me a kiss deeper than life itself. I kissed him back. Slowly, yet fast. And longing, in a loving way. Josh walked us out of the bathroom and into the bedroom part. He laid us both on the bed. He was lying on top of me. I ran my fingers through the curls that just touched the back of his neck. His hands ran up and down my hips and sides. Our bodies pressed up against each other. I pulled away for a second to catch my breath. He pulled away too, holding himself up on his hands. I watched as he rolled over to lie next to me. He landed on his back, and while breathing, he looked over at me. I continued to look at him and then rolled on my side, wrapping my arm around him.

"I missed you." I whispered in his ear. He looked down at me. His blue eyes gazing.

"I missed you too." He whispered back. He kissed the side of my face and then started down my jaw. I stretched my neck out. He made his way up to my lips and gave me a sweet kiss. We stopped. Enough making out for tonight.

"Do you want to go on the beach?" He asked.

I smiled. "It's like 12."

"Well, 4 to be exact." Josh smiled. "Do you want to?"

Before I knew it, we were walking down the beach. The sun was just peaking up above the waves. It looked like it wasn't going to move ever again. We walked hand in hand down the beach. The only ones out here.

"It's so beautiful." I said lightly staring at the sun. Josh looked at it too.

"I know," He paused. "Not as beautiful as you." He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me to him.

I looked behind us. "Let's sit down." I pointed to the lawn chairs with padding on them. They looked comfortable right now. Josh sat down on one and I sat between his legs. My back leaned against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and I held onto his hands. We just watched the view for a while. I couldn't believe the sun was already coming up.

"When you're away at college, I'm coming up and visiting you a lot." I told him, playing with his hands.

"I'll come back to Easton and take you to my parent's place in New York too. You shouldn't have to stay in that hell hole for more than 2 months straight." He was right. No one could take a straight year there without getting away from it a few times.

"We should do that." I said. "I don't think I'll want to stay around there long. All my friends won't be there." I said.

"I know, but you'll still have some people." Josh pointed out.

I sighed. He was right. I didn't want this year to be over. "When's your graduation?" I asked.

"In June. Day before the last day. It's usually earlier, but I think with the new headmaster… things are different." He said.

I nodded. "I'll be there." Even if it's pouring like frick outside. I'll be there. "Even though I don't want to be away from you, I'll support whatever you do. You can go to school in California if you want. I'll still be proud of you." I told him slowly, thinking about each sentence.

"I'll be there at your graduation too." He told me, squeezing me quickly. "Then, once we're both out of high school, we can really start our lives."

I nodded again. I knew what he meant. Right off the bat. "Do you think we'll be together when college comes around?" I asked.

"I want to be with you in college." Josh said. "I hope we are. And I hope we stay together beyond that too." He said.

"Me too." I smiled. He held me closer to him and we both listened to our breathing while the waves crashed on the shore. It all seemed too perfect. It seems like something was supposed to happen any second. But nothing did. And we sat there for many moments until we decided it was time to go back.

"You mean Amberly was staying in your house for seven days?" Portia laughed. She threw her curly hair over her shoulder and smiled. I just told all the Billings Girls about Amberly. We were all lying on lawn chairs out in the sun. While waiters in white shorts and gorgeous wind blown hair served us fruity drinks and smoothies. This was the life.

"She's such a little bitch. If I could, I'd strangle her. She sucks up to me too much. It was nice at first, but now it's obvious." London scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"I know! She does the same thing to me." Vienna gasped.

"No way!" London squealed.

"Is she still doing that?" Kiran smiled.

"She's probably banging your brother as we speak." Rose teased.

"Ew!" I shouted and kicked my legs and arms out. We all laughed.

"That's it. I'm done." Noelle sat up and slammed her _Vogue _down on her lawn chair. We all stopped what we were doing and looked over at her, a little scared. What was she mad about now?

"All in favor of voting Amberly Carmichael out of Billings House raise your hand." Noelle smirked.

Everyone's had shot up. I smiled and raised mine proudly.

"Well, well, well, look who we have here. Reed Brennan wants Amberly out. Even though it would crush her brother." Noelle said sarcastically. She knew how much Amberly was a pain in the ass. She wanted her out just as much as I did.

"Let's just hope the two don't get married, I wouldn't want to ever see her at Christmas." I rolled my eyes. The girls laughed.

"Ok, then what's done is done." Noelle sat up. "We are freshman free." She lay back in her lawn chair. We all let out a few of the original "Yes!" or, "Finally!" Then tapped our glasses together in a toast. Then everyone shifted in their lawn chairs and went back to tanning. We were in two rows, facing each other. Noelle was dead center, I was next her. Next to me was Rose. My vacation was going so well. I couldn't believe it.

"So are you guys excited for my wedding?" Noelle asked.

"Yes!" Everyone said at the same time. Oh, how much everyone sucks up to Noelle…

"You're all bridesmaids." She smiled.

"Can you even do that?" I asked her.

She looked at me. "I'm Noelle Lange." She smirked. "Of course I can. And besides, this isn't going to be a traditional wedding." She shrugged and lay back down.

"Well, of course it's not." Kiran smiled. "It's you're wedding now."

"I know you guys aren't going to believe it. And I got the wedding planner that planned Gwen Stefani's wedding." Noelle smiled.

"Ohmigod!" The twins gasped.

"I know, amazing." Noelle smirked.

I smiled. "This is going to be on hell of a wedding."

"Oh you know it." Noelle settled back in her seat. I smiled and looked up someone was glancing over at us. They were lying in the sun a few feet away. They kept looking over at us and then looking away. I squinted. It was a guy and I couldn't make out who the other person was. I sat up and leaned forward. My back started to hurt from the curiousness that was rushing through my body.

"Noelle," I hissed and touched her arm on the armrest.

"What?" She asked not looking over at me.

"Look," She frowned and then forced herself up to see what I was talking about.

"Yeah, Reed, I don't know how far away Pennsylvania is from here, but we call that an ocean." She laid back in her lawn chair.

I rolled my eyes. "I know that's an ocean, look at those two." I said.

"The guy and girl?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"What about them?"

"They keep looking over here." I told her.

"Their probably jealous." A few girls nodded.

"But, don't you think it's weird?" I asked.

"Not at all." She said. Then she looked over at me. "What? Do you think they're out to get you?"

I laid back in my lawn chair. She's right. Who ever was stalking me, certainly didn't come to Italy with me. I was on the plane alone.

Who where they though? They both got up and walked away. I noticed it was a girl and a guy. A girl with long blonde hair that went down to her lower back and a guy, who had a hat on. I couldn't make out his face. I leaned back when I couldn't see them anymore. All they where were worthless dots in the sand now. Someone came up behind Noelle and sprayed us with drops of water.

"Ah!" The girls cried. I just stretched my neck up to see who it was. Gage. Of course, he was shaking out his damp hair over us.

"You jackass." Noelle snarled and wiped off her bathing suit. I laughed. Heaven forbid they get wet on a beach.

"Noelle, wake up, you're in Italy." Gage snapped back.

"Well, Coolidge, I noticed that, but I don't waste my time trying to walk on water." She flipped around and laid back down on her lawn chair. I turned around and looked at who was there with Gage. The normal group of guys walked up with smiles on their faces.

"What did you guys do?" I asked him.

"We made sandcastles and held hands while we ran down the beach." Gage gave me a 'yeah right' look. "No, we went surfing!" He said. Josh walked up next to him.

"Reed, you should of seen Gage, total wipe out." Josh said, him and the guys laughed and high fived.

"We couldn't find him for like 10 minutes." Trey added.

"We thought he was going to be lost at sea!" Dash shouted laughing. They all cracked up. Too bad they didn't really lose him.

"It wasn't that long! I just was trying to scare you guys." Gage said sticking his chest up. "It was all a joke."

"It didn't seem like a joke when you had a panic attack on the beach when we brought you in." Josh smiled.

"Shut up, man." Gage snapped at all of them and walked over to a lawn chair next to Tiffany.

"We had fun though." Trey said.

"Did any of you actually catch a wave?" Astrid asked lowering her sunglasses to look at them.

They looked at each other and laughed. "No." Dash said and walked over to Noelle.

"Well, we are going back to tanning." Noelle said. She laid back down in her lawn chair and Dash rubbed her shoulders.

Josh came up and sat at the end of my lawn chair.

"Hey." He smiled. I leaned in and kissed him.

"What are we doing the rest of the day?" I asked sitting up and crossing my legs.

"We could go shopping." London shrugged.

"Eh." Portia groaned. "I'll only go if we go somewhere outside of the mall. They have everything there is back home." She pointed out.

"We could go to those shops in the village thingy!" Vienna suggested.

"Sounds like a plan. What time you guys?" Noelle asked.

"It's 12 right now, let's go at like 3 and then go out to dinner after." Portia said.

"WHAT?!" Gage shouted. "We're spending 2 hours shopping?!"

"You don't have to come." Noelle spat.

"But what am I going to do?"

"Sit here and wonder where you went wrong in your life. Just to help you out, I think it was in the early years." Noelle smiled.

"Fucking A. I'm not sitting around for two hours. I'll find something… or someone to do." Gage smirked. We all rolled our eyes.

"Well, how about we go back in in about a half hour. Then we'll be gone by 2:30. Be there at 3." Noelle shrugged.

"But, seriously, what are _we_ going to do?" Dash asked.

"You guys can stay behind if you want and come up after our shopping to go out to eat." Tiffany suggested.

"Let's just do that. Hey! Who wants to play some volleyball?" Trey asked.

"With Italian hotties?" He asked winking at a girl walking by. She smiled and blushed. Her and her friend waved before scampering away.

"Hey, I thought you and Ivy were together now." Dash asked squinting from the sun. Everyone turned all eyes on Gage, to see what was going on.

"Well, she was supposed to come. I have no idea when though, but right now, we're friends… with the nightly benefits." Gage grinned. Ew. I squirmed a bit and Josh looked away. Obviously making this all too uncomfortable for all of us.

"Typical." Dash scoffed silently.

"Well, lets go." Trey shrugged. All the guys got back up to play.

Josh gave me a sweet firm kiss on the lips and then jogged away to catch up with the guys.

"Hollis is whipped!" Gage whooped.

"Am not." Josh gave Gage a shove causing him to trip over his foot and fall into the sand. All the guys started to crack up and the girls smiled and giggled behind our palms.

"Gage is so annoying." Kiran rolled her eyes and refocused on her glossy, thick magazine.

We all mumbled our agreements.

"So, how long exactly are we going to stay out to shop?" I asked. I wasn't really worried about my sleep. Me and Josh went to bed at 4:30 in the morning and woke up around 1. It wasn't that bad. But, still.

"Only for 2 hours. Where were you?" Noelle asked.

"Gazing into Hollis's eyes?" Kiran gushed sarcastically, holding her open magazine against her chest. The girls started laughing. I gave them a small smile and blushed.

_Maybe._

"I'm just making sure. I didn't know we always told Gage the truth." I shrugged.

"We shouldn't, since he's cheating on Ivy." Tiffany pointed out.

I nodded. I still couldn't wrap my mind around that. I watched the guys throw the volleyball over the net back and forth.

I saw the girl again. The girl with the long blonde hair. She was alone, stealing gazes at Gage, and then quickly pulling her book back up. Maybe she knows him. Maybe she's harmless.

Let's hope for the best.

* * *

Hello! How is everyone? I am sorry it was a week's worth wait. It wasn't much in the chapter. I didn't like it. I think in the next chapter, BIG things are going to happen. Really long one I think, people are coming in, and people are having other issues. It'll be great! Well, i'm so sorry for the crappy chapter. I'm so tired. And I've been trying to work on this when I can. But, this week has been the toughest. And I'm exhausted (like i've said earlier) so I'm going to go now.

It would mean A LOT of you guys reviewed. That way, I can have the inspiration to type up another chapter, and hopefully have it up tomorrow or sunday :]

oh! And I got suspicion. And I'm reading it right. now. I'm only on ehh, about the 6th chapter, and I hate it.. UGH.

well review!

Thanks!

~Lauren


	8. Gone

All the girls walked in two semi-straight lines. We cooed at the cute little boutiques in downtown Silicy. It was all so beautiful. Round, white lights lined the balconies above entrances. And ivy snaked it's way along the sides of buildings. Signs in English and Italian were posted out in the windows. While mannequin's modeled off this Springs fashion. We all laughed and talked about how great it was to be here. I couldn't stop smiling the whole time. The feel of my hair softly on my back, and off my forehead into a small poof that loosely, yet neatly, held my bangs back. Noelle said I looked like a girl scout. I ignored her comment and kept it in. It really actually dressed down my outfit.

The cool night breeze gently running at me made me feel alive. I was finally away from any sanity you could think of. I forgot how good this felt. My purse was draped over my shoulder, I was wearing a Emilyna Silk Chiffon Halter from Ralph Lauren. It was Kiran's of course she let me burrow it. The shirt was gorgeous. It has layers of pink and orange. The layers flutter behind me as I walked. I wore my khaki shorts with it — I found them on the sale rack at the Barney's in New York with Noelle. And my gold strappy thongs, the shoe trust me, from Nordstrom's. They went great with the pink in my shirt. I was actually proud I could match the Billings girls style. They all had somewhat similar things on. Of course, Noelle looked the best out of all of us. But that was fine, I think I was getting the hang of this whole style thing.

But I always had to stop and think before I made changes now, you know? I didn't want to loose anything I had now again.

Noelle found an place that met her and the Billings girls needs and we strode in. The heels of our shoes clicked against the tile surface. Bright lights shone from above, making it feel like a runway. The moment we broke apart, we went off in pairs and found something to look at, touch, admire, and eventually buy. Noelle turned around with a silk shirt in her hands. It was white, and was a button down with wide straps that made it to the ends of her shoulders.

"I'm trying this on." She stated. I nodded and picked up the bottom of the shirt. It was incredibly soft. I wanted to sink into it. I was so happy I didn't wear the super high heels Kiran was. She could wear them with pride though. I haven't seen her wobble, fall, or even struggle.

"Reed! This would look so gorgeous on you." Tiffany ran up to me and held up a Alexander Wang tank top. It had one thick strap of the material on one shoulder, and a thin one on the other, pulling up the shirt on the chest. It draped along the front and back, the brown material was bubbled in at the bottom. It was really pretty.

"I'll try it on." I smiled and she placed the hanger in my hand.

Man, am I happy I tried that on. It was gorgeous on me. I loved it. It looked good with my shorts, and would look even better with jeans. I turned around a few times in the mirror before going out to the Billings girl and hearing their remarks.

"Tiffany, have you ever considered being a personal stylist?" Kiran asked. Taking a sip of her champagne. I have never been in a store that serves champagne like this. Never. But I never dreamed that I'd be in Italy either. Huh, it's a crazy life.

"No, I'm sticking to my camera." Tiffany smiled and pulled her chin up as if it made the statement final.

"I didn't even know I would look good in brown." I told her.

"I know, I never think I looked good in black. Like I had a gothic edge to me." Tiffany wrinkled her nose. She had dark brown hair, which was very close to black. With a glance it looked black.

"You don't look gothic in black." Kiran rolled her eyes.

"I know that now." Tiffany said.

I walked back into the dressing room and took off the shirt, and gently placed it back on it's hanger. I changed back into my shirt and headed out. The girls were all chatting and commenting when friends came out of one of the many dressing rooms. Soon, we all walked out with bags.

"So, Kiran, when are you going to introduce Reed to your Italian hottie?" Noelle asked Kiran as we strolled down the street. I leaned forward to smile at Kiran. She was grinning.

"The time will come. He's supposed to meet us up for dinner." She said.

"Then we will see him then!"

"What's his name?" I asked.

"Narciso." Kiran smiled and looked up ahead.

"He's hotter than his name sounds." Rose whispered in my ear.

The girls started laughing.

We finally stopped shopping at 5. It was enough for me. I could tell the other girls felt the same way. Because Astrid, and Kiki said, "We're starved." while holding this stomachs in pain. Noelle finally stopped torturing me by shopping more and took us to a nice restaurant.

"The guys will be there." She said. We were now all in the limo we brought here, and our bags were on the floor and in the trunk. It was monstrous.

The restaurant soon appeared in front of us. It looked like the little shops back downtown, but this building was a good 3 storied tall and very wide. There were little lights in the ground lighting the path to the restaurant. People wearing all different kinds of designer clothing, walked in. I was really glad I decided to wear this and not jeans.

There were the little circle lights that the little shops had, and the sign was written in cursive letters and in Italian. So I had absolutely no idea what it read. We all got out of the limo and it drove away with our bags in it. I watched it smoothly roll down the slight hill and out the exit. We all walked in and saw Dash, Gage, Josh, Trey, and some Italian looking man, who I assumed was Kiran's spring fling, were all waiting for us in the front of the restaurant.

We walked over to them and were seated. There was a bottle of red wine in the middle of the table. Kiran was the first to take a plunge to it and open it with a small cheer. She let it glide into her glass.

Josh took my hand in his warm on, causing my spine to tingle. I entwined our fingers. He looked over at me.

"Hey," He smiled.

"Hey." I gave him a grin and then we walked to the table. Josh pulled out a chair for me and the sat in the one next to it.

"So what did you guys do while we shopped?" Noelle asked. She placed her menu down on the table.

"We just went around and walked. We lost Gage for like a half hour, finally found him, sucking face with some Italian girl," His eyes flicked up to Gage. He was nodding and smiling at the end of the table. He casually picked up his menu. "Oh! Speaking of girls, guess who is meeting us for dinner." Gage smirked.

Just then, the door opened and all eyes were on the girl with the long think black hair. That shone even though it was dimmed in here. She spoke softly to the hostess, smiled and was then lead to our table. Her face was easy to make out in the light, but I knew who she was the moment she stepped in here.

Ivy Slade was back.

"Hey everyone!" She smiled huge and waved at all of us. But we were all too shocked. I gave her a small smile. I knew all the Billings Girls noticed it. I'm not sure about anyone else. But it laid right there in front of us. Even though it was small, and probably easy to miss. We saw it. As if someone was spelling it out.

Ivy Slade was pregnant.

She sat down at the table next to Gage and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I remember the two attached at the hip at the Hollis Christmas party. I wonder if they still were together. My eyes flicked over to Josh. He looked somewhat sick. And I gave him a 'we'll talk later look'. It couldn't possibly be his. No way in hell. I can't see Josh doing that. Even if they did sleep together, it won't have created this. I looked from Josh to Noelle. She looked like someone just jammed something down her throat. Her mouth was hanging open jus at bit. I soon realized all of the other Billings girls looked the same way. Her eyes flung over to Gage. And then slowly looked over at Josh, and pursed her lips.

"There she is!" Gage smiled and gave her a huge kiss on the lips. They finally stopped and the waitress came.

"What are you folks having tonight?" She asked. She looked young. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a low pony, and her fingers clung to a white notepad, ready to take our orders.

"Uhm," Noelle snapped out of her thoughts. "I'll have the…"

She trailed off and looked at her menu. It must of token a good 3 minutes for all of us to tell this woman. She smiled and walked off quickly. As if she sensed the tense between everyone.

Tiffany let out a short sigh. Causing us to talk again.

"Who knocked you up?" Kiran asked taking a sip of her wine.

"Kiran!" Tiffany gasped.

"No, no, it's ok. I actually don't know who the father is." She shrugged.

"So right now, I'm playing the daddy in this story." Gage leaned back in his chair.

I gave him a look. He was just off a few minutes ago— according to Dash— flirting and making out with some random girl off the street. I felt so bad for Ivy. Josh looked shocked.

"But, I was going to get an abortion. It was too late. I think it happened some time before Christmas. It's been a while. But I hid the fact for a while. I wore sweatshirts a lot. And Marc Jacobs just came out with all those baggy clothing. I didn't think I could of gotten anymore lucky. But now, it's spring break. And I've gotten to the point that it can't be hidden, at all. So I'm coming out and telling everyone. I'll get some kind of DNA test later. I'll just need samples from every guy I've ever hooked up with. Which, will take a while." She blushed and looked over at Gage. Maybe he was actually being the cheating dad. Who screws everyone over as life rolls by.

"You were going to kill a baby?" Shelby spat. Ivy looked offended.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I didn't want to be carrying around something that would be this life changing. And plus, I'm not planning on keeping it anyways. Not unless the father's going to help me support it. Just mentally though. My parents actually agreed to help me get along. And since I'm graduating this year, I'm just going to do this." She closed her eyes briefly and then looked back at us. We all were too shocked to think about anything else. How could this happen? I really didn't talk to Ivy at school anymore. I never saw her on the weekends, or at school for that matter. I never really thought anything was going on with her. I just figured her and Gage were off in some secret place, doing their secret things. I never thought that she'd be hiding from the public.

We all chatted for a while about stupid little things. Like what we bought, and if it was going to be this hot tomorrow. We tried to keep our minds off Ivy. But they kept going back there in a way.

"Oh, Reed! This is Narciso. Narciso, this is Reed. I went to Easton with her." Kiran introduced her and Narciso out of their seats. He reached out a hand and shook mine.

"It's nice to meet you." I told him.

"You too." Whoa, what an accent.

I smiled and they both sat back down. Thank god for Kiran. Soon, she was off about a story of her and Narciso.

Josh drove me back home in his car that night. I told everyone we'd see them back at the hotel. And me and Josh had some serious talking to do.

We were both looking straight ahead. Josh's hands on the steering wheel. Mine in my lap.

"Is it yours?" I asked him quietly.

"It's impossible." He said.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Reed, you really think that I'd waste my first time on Ivy?" He spat.

"Josh, I just. What if it was yours? What would we do?"

"Well, we don't have to worry about that because it's now. I can't believe that you'd even consider that." He looked ahead.

"Josh, I'm just… so did she cheat on you?" I brought it up. Another thing we had to talk about. Josh sighed and leaned his head back against the seat. We stopped at a red light. He closed his eyes.

"I guess so." He shook his head. "This always happens to me. I'm too nice."

My face screwed up. "That's not fair. I didn't mean to cheat on you."

"I know. It's just. I can't be such a push over."

"You're not."

"What if something like that happens again? What if one of us gets drugged? You do have another stalker." He blew out a sigh.

I turned my body towards him. "I know, but Josh. Nothing has happened so far. And I'm much for cautious now. I would never do that. You know that. I know you do." I crossed my arms and leaned back in my chair.

"See, now we both don't believe each other."

"Now you're just being stupid." I placed my elbow by the window and held the side of my face with my fingertips.

"Oh, that's right. I'm being stupid. I am so sorry." Josh mumbled. I sighed.

"Really? You couldn't live out two days with me without fighting?" I blurted.

"Reed! You're the one who thought me and Ivy had sex!" He shouted.

"That's because I have NO idea what happened between you two!" I shouted back.

"Well I'm sorry I don't tell my girlfriends what the previous one and I did every waking moment." He rambled.

"That's not what I meant. I'm just. God. Josh, you're making this so much more difficult!" He didn't respond. Only tightened his grip on the steering wheel. His phone rang and he answered it.

"Hello… yeah hi mom… No… I'm not I'm just tired." We looked at each other. He was obviously on the phone with his mom. "Yeah, I'm in the car with Reed... She got here yesterday… tomorrow sounds good… They are? Ok… I'll see you then… I love you too… bye." He hung up and placed his phone back in his pocket.

"My mom wants us to come to the house tomorrow. She wants to see us. I guess Tess and Tori are there. Lynn and Gia are staying an hour away from here. But we'll see them too. All the kids are there. I can't believe they actually decided to all come." Josh sighed.

"It'll be fun." I said quietly. He didn't respond. I looked out the window. And looked bored at Italian signs while they zoomed by. Of course Josh knows Italian. All these kids do. What can they _not_ do? I bet one of them is constructing a space rocket as we speak. Well, of course they hired someone for the job.

When we got home. I walked off to the bedroom. Josh stayed in the living room and turned on the TV. There, on our bed was a box and a card. I smiled and walked up to it.

_Dear Reed,_

_Thank you so much for coming back home to see us. We love you! Just to show it, we pulled our money together to get you this. Hope you like it._

_Love,_

_Mom, and Dad _

I smiled and then moved on to the box. Gently taking off the bow. Amazed how good it looked, and wondered how many hours it took my mom to make it. There, sitting in the box was a new iPhone 3G. I gasped a little and tears welled in my eyes. I called my mom on it. It went straight to voicemail. She must have been sleeping or something. I forgot about the time changes.

I hooked the phone up to my computer and synced all my information from my last phone onto it. Once it was all ready, I unplugged it, and not sure what to do with my other phone, I dropped it in my suitcase carelessly. My new phone was rested on the dresser.

But, besides that, that night at the hotel was hell. Josh said he'd sleep on the couch. Our suite was huge. There were 4 parts to it. A kitchen, a living space, a bedroom, and a bathroom. So Josh ended up on the other side of the room.

"No, really. I won't touch you." I joked. He didn't find it funny.

"No. I'll sleep in here. I need to cool off. " He grabbed a pillow and turned. "Night." He said, before shutting the door behind him. I looked around the suddenly empty room. My new phone was shining from the dresser. I'll just call Noelle on it.

It rang a good 4 times before he voicemail came up.

"Hey, Noelle, call me back when you can. Thanks. Bye." I hung up and tossed my phone onto the bed. I shook out my hair and crawled into Josh's bed. It was so much more cold, and lonely in here without him. I grabbed a pillow and hugged it. Somewhere in the night, my eyes got heavy and gently closed.

The next morning was somewhat better. I woke up, showered, and changed. I didn't see Josh at all. He must of came in the room when I was in the shower to grab his clothes. Because I could hear the water running 15 minutes after I got out.

I wore my new brown top and some white shorts. My shoes that I wore last night would work out just fine. And I French braided my bangs, making the outfit a little less sexy. It would drive Josh crazy. I know it. But, I shouldn't care. I wanted to look nice anyways. And this is a really cute shirt…

I put my makeup on and then was out in the living room. Josh was in the kitchen eating his normal breakfast. I walked up behind him, keeping a good distance.

"Good morning." I said bluntly.

"Good morning." Josh said.

Walked over to the cupboard and got out some cereal for myself. Not really having the energy to go grab the milk, I poured it in a bowl and just ate it with my hands. There was a new _Us Weekly_ sitting on the rack of newspapers and magazines the hotel provides. It was on the bar that was attached to the counter that lined the kitchen. I was standing directing across from Josh. The only thing separating us was the sink and the island table. I occasionally looked up at him. And then looked back down when he caught me. I bit my lip and glanced quickly back up at him.

"We have to leave at 11." He said. His curls were all over the place. And his striped polo shirt was adorable. His green/blue eyes glistened as he searched through his phone.

It was 10:45. 15 more minutes and we'd be trapped in a car together.

"I'll be right back." I said.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"Noelle's room."

"Alone?"

I stopped. I couldn't even walk down the hall in this state.

"It's straight down the hall. I'll be back in 5 minutes." I told him holding up my hand.

He nodded and I left the room and buzzed down to Noelle's. I knocked on the door three times. No answer. That's weird. Usually she's up by now back home. It would be 6 at night. It was so weird getting used to this time zone. Maybe Noelle has already. I doubt it though. Really. I can't see Noelle over sleeping too much. And I called her last night, she didn't answer her phone. She must have been sleeping. It was only 9 then. She must be doing something. Kiran strolled out of her room. She had her purse on the inside of her elbow, and her sunglasses covered her eyes.

"Hey." She smiled.

"Hey, have you heard from Noelle?" I asked.

"No actually, the last time I saw her was last night. She didn't come home with us. She went with Dash. I didn't even hear them come home. I wonder where they went." She looked down to the carpet.

"I know, I wanted to talk to her."

"I would talk to you, but I'm about to meet Narciso. So I'll see you later!" She waved and strutted out to the elevator. I sighed and walked back to my room. Josh was grabbing his keys off the table.

"Ready?"

"Yeah, let me grab my purse."

I walked into my room and took my purse off the bed. I grabbed my phone that was rested next to it. No missed calls. I went through call history just to make sure. Nothing.

I bit my lip and then threw my phone into my purse and then walked out of the suite with Josh.

And yes, the car ride was horrible too. We didn't talk. I texted people. Everyone was off doing whatever they could find. We finally made it to Josh's parent's house. Josh stopped the car, and still got out to open my door. I said thank you and we walked in the house.

"Josh and Reed are here!" The voice of Tess shouted. Her voice bounced off the walls. As if she was on a surround sound speaker. Josh winced.

"God, Tess, you're so loud." He smiled.

She smiled and hugged us. Soon, the rest of Josh's family did and I was covered with warm and sweet welcomes.

I was talking to Gia. She was telling me about how much she loved it here. I returned it with similar stories. It was just like any other Hollis gathering. But this time, Tess and Tori only talked about their boyfriends. You could realize the annoyed look on all their brothers faces. But the twins ignored them and went on with their stories to me.

"And, he actually opens the door for me! He's so nice." Tori smiled.

"He's a keeper then!" I told her smiling.

"I know." She smiled.

My phone beeped and I pulled it out.

Tiffany G.

**Hey! Have you seen Noelle?**

Apparently no one has.

**No. Kiran hasn't either…**

This was getting weird. "Uhm, I need to make a call." I told the twins. They both nodded and I walked off to the hall. Getting a confused glance from Josh. But he brushed it off and continued talking to Lynn.

"Tiffany?" I asked. She picked up right away.

"Reed! I was just about to call you!" She was gasping and panting. Like she just ran a marathon and then ran back.

"Tiffany, what's wrong?" I blurted.

"Reed! I can't… we looked everywhere!"

"Tiff, calm down. Take a breathe. Tell, me. What's wrong?" I said sharply.

"Reed, it's Noelle and Dash."

My heart pretty much stopped.

"Their missing."

* * *

Ok, I didn't proof read this chapter like I usually do... so it probably looks reallllllyyyy bad! Sorry! But it was a good7 pages long! I had to stop it... sorry. And I really wanted to update. Well here it is!

OHMYGOD!

i made a petition :] for those of you who are interested, it's about Reed and Josh needing to get back together... haah it's stupid but hey, it's something to do right? Well the links on my page :] so go check that out!

I noticed that I'm getting a lot of anonymous reviews, it's fine. Just noticing :]

well thanks for reading.

OHMYGOD!

wow i'm stupid. sorry. well anyways, I finished suspicion. It wasn't actually that bad. I did a little happy dance when Reed and Upton gave up on that stupid 'long distance' thing. Yeah right, like THAT was ever going to work out.

well if you want to PM me and talk that would be great!

shout outs:

check out iLoveBabyPegasus! She's amazing :] and irrevocably ives. lol

ok i'm done. really you can click review now. ;]

~Lauren


	9. Scared

It had been my fourth day in Italy, and we still haven't found Noelle and Dash. Her father was going ballistic. Josh's parents had us leave our hotel and come live out with them so nothing could happen to us. They've only been gone for two days. But in those two days, there had been search teams out looking for them, signs we have posted were everywhere you turned. Noelle's cell phone was here, but Dash's wasn't. So the only way we contact them is through Dash. I've been getting e-mails after e-mails. Turning them all into the police. I forwarded them to officer Marco. He was a about in his 20s and working on this case. Him and his team have searched almost all of Silicy and couldn't find a piece of material that could help us.

Josh and me haven't talked a whole lot. Ivy has been hanging out with us more and more. Making things between us tense. I hated it. He of course comforted me. But not as passionately as he usually does. And he kissed me, but there wasn't as much attraction. Our relationship was on the rocks. All because I wasn't sure him and Ivy didn't sleep together. So, while we were getting ready that morning, I put on a little bit of eyeliner, mascara, and some lip gloss and I was ready. I barely needed make up. Well, that's what Noelle and the other Billings girls say. I really don't. They all cake their faces with cover up, and self tanner. I was fine with the way I was.

"Josh?" I asked.

"Yeah?" He walked out of the closet, shirtless, in search of something.

"I…I'm sorry." I looked up at him.

"For what?" He asked breathless like he ran.

"For thinking… you and Ivy…" I trailed off.

"Oh, that. Reed," He smiled. "It's fine, right. I mean, you know we didn't do anything?"

I shook my brown shiny hair over my shoulder and looked up at him from the carpet. "Yea. I just, I'm just trying to piece it all together. I have no idea who the dad could be. And I don't think its you, but my best bet is Gage." I sighed.

"Me too. I mean, he's already going to take care of it… sort of… why not just say that?" Josh gave me a smile and sat down on the end of the bed.

I smiled and walked up to him. "Let's say that." I shrugged a shoulder before climbing on him and kissing him. It was slow. Nice, and slow. That's all I wanted right now. He smiled between a kiss and I kissed the spot between his neck and shoulder I always favored. Thoughts of how Noelle is out there, missing seemed to slip out of my mind for a while. Extreme shivers went down my spine. And I got a warm feeling in my heart. The combination made me want to jump up and down in joy.

My phone beeped. I got up and Josh groaned before falling back on the bed covering his eyes. "Reed."

"Josh, I need to take this!" I giggled. All too happy we were back to talking normally.

"Hello?" I smiled Josh and I had locked eyes.

"Good afternoon, Reed, this is officer Marco." He spoke in his Italian accent heavy and thick.

"Oh, did you find something?" I asked snapping out of my previous bliss.

"Yes. We found a wallet. It has evidence in it that it is Mr. McCafferty's." He spoke.

My eyes went big. I watched as Josh frowned and went into my closet, coming out with a soft, designer shirt. It looked strangely familiar.

"Stealing my clothes." He mumbled with a smile and returned to his closet.

"Where?"

"By this restaurant. The owners and staff said they have never seen the two in their lives. So we aren't guessing they were there. I'm pretty sure they headed north up into the mountains. It explains a lot because that is out of Silicy. The capturer probably took them up there, thinking no one would look. We have a team on it right now." He explained. I shivered on the word capturer.

A relieved sigh came out of my lips. "Did you tell Mr. Lange this?" I asked.

"Yes, we just got off the phone with him. He said that he wanted to be the first to know about anything that we find." Marco said.

"That is reasonable."

"Well, we will notify you also if we find anything else." He said.

"Thank you."

We both hung up.

"Who was that?" Josh asked with a shirt on now.

"The police. They found Dash's wallet. They think who ever took them has them both in the mountains just outside of Silicy." I explained.

_Ding!_

My computer beeped and we both stopped. I looked up into Josh's eyes before moving over to it slowly as if it had a bomb in it.

And of course, a new e-mail. From my favorite person on earth.

**So, you've been turning me into the police? How cute. Is little Reed scared? Well that's great. Because you've got a lot more in store for you.**

**I've got your friends here. This Noelle bitch won't stop crying. And I just want you to know I don't expect the police to find them… alive that is.**

**If you forward this message to the police I'm killing them instantly. I hear that they think I'm in the mountains. How silly.**

**I want you to come here. Here are the rules to our little game. You can bring one person, no one in the police experienced range. If I see a cop, a hostage dies. And if you don't come, they'll both die. I want you here at 12:00 sharp. Any later, you know what's going to happen. **

**We are now at the big oval on the red. Figure it out.**

**-SNLD**

Josh was over my shoulder reading the e-mail.

"Bullshit." He mumbled. "Where the hell do we find oval on red?"

"Wait, didn't you take me to some red mountains or something? They were a while away but gorgeous." I told him turning around in my chair.

"Yeah, I remember. So what? Is there like an oval cave?"

"I'm guessing." I said reading the e-mail over again. "I need to make a call."

I grabbed my cell phone off the night stand and hit my mom's contact. It rang and she finally picked up.

"Hello?"

"Mom?"

"Reed? Is that you?" She asked confused.

"Yes. Didn't you recognize the number?" I asked.

"No. Who's phone is this?" She asked.

"It's mine mom. You know, the one you bought for me?"

"I never bought you a phone." She said now sounding extremely confused.

I frowned. "Yeah, mom you did. It was here when I—"

"_I hear that they think I'm in the mountains. How silly." _The e-mail came back into my head. I looked over at my phone.

"Reed, I never got you a phone." She explained.

"Oh, sorry, never mind. I guess I'm just a little… I don't know. I'm gunna go mom. Love you bye." I hung up and threw my phone down.

"What are you doing?" Josh asked.

"They… they… my parent's didn't buy me that phone! Remember the night we got into a fight? I found this in our room and it said that it was from my parents. They didn't buy it for me!" I shouted.

"Then who did?" Josh asked stepping closer and grabbed my shoulders.

"Who ever sent that e-mail just now." I looked up at him.

"Ok, we just have to give this to someone, to set them off track. The police, or someone like that. If they follow them, they'll get caught."

"But, they'll notice the phones in the mountains and not where they told me to go." I explained.

"Then we'll just have to destroy it." Josh said looking down at it. We both looked at each other and shouted.

"Tess! Tori!"

They both came in quickly, tripping over their footsteps.

"Where's the fire?!" Tess shouted.

"No, we need you to do me a favor." I said turning to pick up my phone.

"What is it, Reed?"

"Get rid of this."

"Like throw it away?" Tori asked.

"No, like smash it to pieces. Throw it around a few times." I said.

They both looked at each other and started laughing. "Is this some kind of joke?" Tess giggled.

"Seriously, Tess. You need to get rid of this phone. You two are good at destroying things, why don't you practice more with this." Josh smirked.

Tori shot him daggers. "I don't destroy things… on purpose."

"We'll do it. Bye!" Tess grabbed the phone out of my hands and they both ran away.

"Well, that's taken care of. Now, we just have to go find Noelle and Dash." I said turning to Josh.

This wasn't going to be easy.

I sat in the passengers seat of Josh's car as he drove towards the mountains we visited a few days ago. I watched alertly out the window. Waiting for the mountains to appear above the buildings.

Josh looked over at me and slipped his hand in mine. And gave it a squeeze. His hair was gorgeous today, but worry was still in his eyes. I seemed to be the only one who noticed. He looked over at me.

"We'll find them." He said.

I nodded and looked back out to the window.

About an hour later, we were pulling up the landmark I've been seeking.

"So, how are we going to do this?" I asked.

"Well, we're going to have to walk around." He said.

I nodded again and opened my door before Josh could.

"It's so weird not having a phone." I said ignoring the _Do Not Enter_ sign we passed. I shivered and Josh dropped my hand to wrap his arm around me. I stepped closer to him. We both sneaked around the red rocks. No one has seen us yet. There was a snap and that's all it took for me to almost scream. I jumped instead and saw that it was just a twig. Josh shook his head and took my hand, dragging me into the cave.

"Is this it?" I whispered.

He was too busy thinking. He nodded a little bit and we walked into the cave. It was getting smaller as you got deeper into it. There was a huge pit of blackness at the end. I really wished I brought a flashlight. Josh was the brave one and looked walked up to it.

"There." He pointed to something. "Do you see that light?"

I looked down the cave. "Josh, you're really scaring me." I whimpered.

"Reed, I'm being serious, look."

And so I did, and he was right, there was a flame coming from the end of the tunnel. The flame seemed the move slowly. Up to something. And that was it. I saw it. I saw a person. Probably whoever was keeping Noelle hostage. He started to walk away into a tunnel.

We both looked at each other and Josh grabbed my hand, I nodded at him and squeezed. My eyes closed briefly and I waiting for a second before walking with him into the cave.

I suddenly remembered what I was getting myself into.

* * *

ok I am so sorry I haven't updated for like a month.

It's bad I know. lol but school has been so much and I'm getting involved with this guy. :] so I've been busy.

This is a bad chapter, just a starter to a conflict. lol


	10. Fake

I took a deep breath, it's okay Reed. You're going to be okay. I knew I was going to be okay in my brain. But my gut was giving me a different reaction due to all the twisting and turning it's been doing. Josh grabbed ahold of my hand again and brought me close to him as we walked through the cave. I looked up at him. Through his eyes, I knew he was feeling the same way I was. The figure stopped and we were at a door. He opened it up and we hesitantly walked in. What the hell was a door doing here in a bunch of rocks and mountains? Were people in Italy just crazy like that? Because there were people crazy enough to capture untouchable Noelle Lange and her boyfriend. The person, who will now be known as the grim reaper, opened the door and exposed a office/department/dump. It had a desk and a table light set on it, shining, the only light coming from the room. There was another door, which I guess, led to the rest of the building. People probably came here to pay to see this all. I wouldn't pay to see this. It's horrible. Especially that Noelle and Dash were curled up in the corner, looking hopeless and exhausted.

"Reed!" She tried to shout. She was stopped from getting up when the door behind me slammed shut. I whirled around the same time Josh did. A girl was sleek black hair and tan waxy skin looked into my eyes.

"It's been a while... Reed." She spat out.

"Sabine?" I shouted. "Why are you doing this?"

"Why am I doing this? Why am I doing this!?" I am only doing this for one reason." She looked me dead in the eye. I tried my hardest not to look away.

"Me?" I chocked out.

"Was it that obvious?" She asked in a sarcastic voice.

I gulped. The grim reaper stepped toward me and Josh.

"Take care of her, I'll help." She looked me up and down like I was some kind of dirty dish rag.

He grabbed me and she laughed. "NO!" I screamed.

"Get off of her!" Josh shouted. He punched Grim in the nose. That didn't do much because he began to tug on me a little harder.

"Josh! Help me, Josh, please." I begged.

"Don't take her. Take me." Josh stuck his head up high.

"I don't care if you go stab yourself on your own, I want to watch Reed be killed." Sabine's frosted look shot over to me and pierced holes in my face. I was stinging all over. All I wanted to was to be back in the hotel, in my bed. I wanted to be with my parents. Who were probably really confused right now. I wanted to be back at Easton. Were there wasn't this much danger. I wanted to leave. I wanted to be anywhere but here.

Josh grabbed onto my waist and tried to pull me back. I was going to be broken into two. I felt myself ripping.

"Stop!" I shrieked.

Josh instantly let go of me and Grim loosed his grip.I was able to free myself quickly and I ran to Josh's arms. I buried my face into his chest. He pulled me to him tightly.

"Fine, put them in a room. I don't want to see her face right now. We'll finish her off at dawn. Throw the others off to the ocean. Nobody will dare look there." She barked her orders to her accomplice.

She was out of the room in a flash. And the Grim took me and Josh roughly into an other room in the office building. I counted, we where 5 doors away from Noelle and Dash. Sabine must of been sleeping somewhere else.

When me and Josh were in the room, I ran to him and didn't cry. I just wanted to be in his arms. I put my head on his chest and felt warm all the way to my toes. He kissed me on the head, all over my face, my exposed shoulders, my neck.

"I thought I was going to loose you." He said looking at my lips, out of breath.

"I'm here." I told him and tightened my arms around his neck. "I'm here."

I leaned in and gave him a kiss.

"Reed, if anything does happen to us--"

"Nothing will happen to us."

"Reed. Just in case. You know how much I love you right?"

"Yes. I do." I smiled.

"More than anything. That's why you're everything to me. If she lays another hand on you, I don't think I will be able to control myself. I don't want to see you in any kind of pain. Nothing at all."

"Josh, don't waste your life on me. If something every happened to me, and you got out. I want to you move on. I want you to find someone else to be with forever. I don't want you to be lonely at all." I was close to tears. "It'll be hard to see you with another girl, but I want you to be happy. That's all I want, Josh." A tear trickled down my cheek.

Josh kissed me intensely. "That can't happen."

"Josh."

He was silent. We both knew we were going to be stuck here for a while. We both knew it and were not looking forward to it.

"And if something happens to me. Move on. I want you to be happy too. Then I'll be happy. I'm only happy if you are." He said, his eyes half open. His lips were red from kissing me so much. I couldn't help but to kiss him were I could, that spot on his shoulder. I gently put my head there and breathed in his scent. I felt like I wasn't even here anymore. It's amazing what he can do to me.

"I love you, Josh." I said between kisses.

"I love you too, Reed." He breathed out. "More than anything."

I started to cry. This was the end. I knew, there was no way anyone would be able to realize we were here. I was going to be killed. My friends are going to be thrown off a cliff. The love of my life is going to die. I sobbed out. Josh held me close to him. We sat on the floor together. There was a small air mattress on the floor that Sabine left for us. How much do you want to bet she infested it with something?

I didn't care, I sat down on it anyways. I just was so tired. I wanted this to be a dream. I wanted to wake up and have Noelle, Dash, Josh, and I all back in the hotel. Not being touched. Not being touched at all.

The next morning we woke up to the sound of a whip. We couldn't get out of the room.

"Shut up! Are you trying to cheat on me?!" I knew that voice. It was Noelle. She sounded pissed.

"Noelle! She freaking raped me!" Dash replied shouting and begging.

"She rapped me my ass. You did that all on your own. Well, if you get out of here, so do I!" Noelle roared.

"Shut up you filthy bitch!" Sabine shouted.

"Excuse me? I'm not the disturbed creep who is keeping four teenagers in a cave." Noelle exclaimed.

"Don't forget what I can do to you..." Sabine spat.

We couldn't hear anything after that. I wanted to break down the door and just run.

Noelle somehow got out while Sabine was sleeping. She came to our room. After spending 5 minutes picking the lock with her bobbie pin, she got in. I ran up to her and hugged her.

"Noelle!" I smiled.

"Shhhh! Keep it down, I don't know about you, but I don't want that psycho bitch strangling us."

I rolled my eyes. "Well no shit."

She told us how Sabine captured them. It wasn't even Sabine. There were three guys twice there size that grabbed them. She wasn't aware of it. They brought her and Dash to this cave, and Sabine told them she wanted me. And they've been here ever since.

"Oh, and I bet I lost a good 10 pounds because we don't get much food. It's like a flipping concentration camp." She scoffed.

"Do you have any idea how we could get out of here?" I whispered.

"Well," She leaned forward. "She's got the front door boarded off. I guess this place closed down last year... I think there's some kind of window we could crawl through. Then, we'd have to climb around the mountains and get back to civilization. But wait... do either of you have your phones?" Noelle asked.

Josh's face lit up. He felt through his pocket before pulling out his phone and opening it. "I barely have any service." He said.

"How much?"

"One bar." He pursed his lips. "Should I try texting my mom? She's probably so worried about me."

"Quietly."

He started texting away. I let out a sigh of relief. We were getting out. I wasn't going to be killed.

"She texted back!" He whispered.

"I'm gunna go get back, just incase miss PMS wakes up. Later." She quietly got out and tried re-locking the door. I couldn't even hear her walk away.

"What is your mom saying?" I scooted closer to Josh.

"She's asking me where I am."

"Well, tell her!" I hissed.

"Reed!" Shouted an angry voice.

I cursed under my breath.

Sabine stormed into our room and smiled. "It's your turn."

I looked down at Josh, his phone was out of sight. He gave me a quick wink. I wouldn't of been able to see it if I blinked. I was shaking as I walked up to see her.

She grabbed my arm aggressively. And I didn't even try to pull away. She was holding a knife.

It's okay, she can't touch you. Help is coming.

I tried to calm myself with those words. But they weren't helping, I was starting to loss hope. But wait, I can't give up now!

Sabine brought me into the rock dome that I first entered the cave in.

I gulped as Sabine turned and fished her knife out of her coat. She turned around and gave me a smirk. That is when I saw her grabbing my wrist.

"No!" I screamed. I yanked away from her grasp. Noelle came up out of nowhere and jumped on her back. Dash was punching out the Grim, and Josh was just running in.

"Noelle!" I shouted.

"Reed, grab her knife!" But it was too late, Sabine had already threw Noelle over her shoulder and pointed her knife to her.

"I'll finish you off once I get her." She roared. The Grim was on the floor, weak, Dash must of built up all the strength he could to knock him out. I couldn't of loved him anymore.

"Josh!" I shouted, he turned his head as Sabine grabbed me and tried to drag me away from the scene.

"Reed!" He screamed.

"Reed!" Noelle added, they both came after me and easily stopped Sabine from pulling me into a different room.

"Get off!" Sabine waved her knife at them, they both backed away.

I tried to worm myself free, but her grasp was too strong. She brought me into an office. There was a desk she pushed me against. I gasped for air, losing it all. I didn't get how this could of happened. Wasn't I just in the hotel? Just in Josh's car? Wasn't I just at Easton? I couldn't keep track anymore. It felt like I was held like this forever. Even though I know we found this place last night.

"Sabine," I said.

"Don't talk!" She snarled. She grabbed me with both hands on the sides and pinned me up against the desk.

"Don't do this." I gaged.

"Shut up, I've waited so long to do this. You deserve to be dead, you don't deserve anything but that. You selfish bitch. I've watched you get showered with presents and compliments from these people called your friends. You don't know this, their all fake. They don't like you. It's all for popularity. Noelle only hangs out with you because she needs the charity points. But I've heard her talk about you, Reed. I've heard her."

"You're lying!" I screamed.

"Oh really, do you want me to explain?" She asked calmly.

"Stop!" I demanded.

"Okay, I'll stop talking... just cut to the chase." With a sudden swing, she had the knife in her hand.

"Sabine, don't do this..." I begged.

"Too bad, it's just too much fun."

I tried to struggle, pushing the arm with the knife away. She was so strong though, I used all the muscle I could. She was getting pissed because I wasn't going down without a fight.

"Stop this, the more you struggle, the more pissed off I get. You do not want to get me pissed off." She snarled through her teeth.

I saw shuffling behind the door. More than the two bodies I had become familiar to. More of them were there. I was pretty sure it was just the people I need.

"I wouldn't start this now." I pointed out.

"Why not? This will only hurt," She looked to the side and chuckled, "A lot."

She slowly started to slide the blade of her knife into my stomach. I had the sudden urge to pee and I was in so much pain.

"See, Reed, I'm not going to just cut this short and stab you in the heart. I want you to die a slow, painful death. So it'll just top your ride to hell." She was smiling the whole time.

"No! Stop it!" I shouted. I kicked and tried as much as I could. I was loosing strength. I was blurring in and out. I couldn't fight anymore. This was how I was going to die. I started to cry. I didn't get to tell my parents how much I loved them, I didn't tell Scott how much he meant to me. I didn't get to see me dog one last time. I couldn't ever touch the ivy that lined the exterior walls of Billings. I couldn't play soccer ever again.

"Sabine, I'm sorry! I never did anything to your sister." I apologized... sorta.

"You did a shit load of damage to my sister. You're the reason she doesn't sleep! You're the reason she's the way she is."

"No, she was born a physicotic path bitch!" I screamed. I was breaking out in a cold sweat. I couldn't feel my legs. I screamed out in pain. What happened to those people behind the door? Why did they leave me? What did I do to deserve this? Was the girl right, was I just a fake?

I heard a huge crack and I thought it was somehow my break from the Earth.

"Drop the knife!" I heard a man shout.

Someone rushed up to me and grabbed my head. Sabine was grabbed off of me. The knife went with her. My blood seemed to rush out of my body as if it was on fire.

"Ohmygod." I whispered. I was going to die. I was going to die in whom ever's arms I was in.

"Reed, don't go. Hang on Reed, I can't loose you." I heard the faint sentence.

It felt like I had ear plugs on. I was put in a stretcher and I felt myself floating on air. Hitting bumps along the way. Everything was turning into blackness. My eyes tried to close themselves telling me, give up already, you're dead. I wasn't dead, not yet. I couldn't be. I fought, as much as I could. Because I knew it's what my mom would want, I knew my dad wouldn't want to loose me. I knew Noelle wouldn't be able to loose me. I knew Josh wouldn't function without me. And I did it for the Billings girls. Because they have became my family, and even though something as big as this has happened, I knew another death to them would just be horrible. I couldn't do that to them, so I sucked up all my energy and tried to not go to a sleep I could not wake up from. When we got out of the cave I was blinded by the light. Not used to it at all. I felt news reporters surrounding the scene. Italian words being shot at me. I just wanted to go home at that moment. I wanted to be with my parents and brother, they wouldn't ask me a billion questions, they wouldn't care. I didn't want anyone but them. I was pulled into an ambulance and I could feel it moving away. Someone put their hand in mine and gave it a squeeze. Someone was crying, I couldn't hear faint shouts. Hope was lacking at the moment. I felt the oxygen mask put over my mouth and nose. I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. I closed them and fell into a much needed sleep.

* * *

better start now

I am soo soo so so so so so so so so so so so so ! :(

I haven't touched this thing for the longest time, but my life has really picked up in the sped. And I couldn't find any time to do this. And I got a new computer so all my from previous chapters couldn't be recognized. I'm taking more vacations to, but I sound like an idiot now. So I hope you all forgive me. Please review, because I haven't been getting a lot. Which is going to cut this story short. It's probably going to end in like a few chapters.

So please please please find it in your heart to review :)

Well, this was a very dramatic chapter, i don't really like it to tell you the truth.

Ehh, so this is probably my last fan fiction story.

I've been reading all of yours, their goood!

Okay, i'm going to stop this now.

Byeee

~Lauren


	11. Well I Don't Care

When I woke up I was in a white room. What else was new? It seemed like they should just make me a permanent room in hospitals where ever I go. They can label it "Reed's Room". Yeah, that's something to tell the folks back home. I squinted my eyes and sat up.

"Uhh." I moaned grabbing my stomach and squeezing my eyes close.

"Yeah, I wouldn't do that if I were you." Gia told me.

"Gia?" I squinted my eyes and looked behind me, the pillow was shifting.

"Yeah, most people call me that." She smiled. I rolled my eyes.

"Where's Noelle?" I asked.

"Uhm, Noelle Lange right? She's in the next room." She nodded.

"What happened to her?" I asked looking at her seriously.

"She was dehydrated, and they said that she needed to eat now or she'll start to develop eating disorders." Gia gave me a sympathetic look.

"Eating disorders? She was in captivity for like 3 days." I let out a small laugh. "What about Dash?"

"He's really good I guess, I heard they fed him and he was fine." Gia told me and flipped the page to her magazine.

I smiled, typical. I sat up a little bit. "Where's Josh?"

Gia looked up, "I'll go find him." She nodded. I looked at her with big eyes.

"He didn't even come in here?"

"They wouldn't let him. I guess his parents were on the phone with him and he didn't want to wake you. Maybe he went to get food." She trailed off. She got up and walked over to the door. She opened it and waved someone in. In came Josh, he took a big breath and let it out when he walked in. He ran over to my bed and grabbed my face gently, giving me a kiss.

"I'm gunna be right out there," Gia said pointing to the waiting room.

I nodded and looked back up at Josh.

"I really thought she was going to kill you... this time." He let out a chuckle.

I pouted and he laughed at me. "What exactly happened?" I asked him. "Like, I know she stabbed me..." I grabbed my side.

"You got stabbed, and because she pulled the knife out, you lost so much blood. They didn't think you were going to make it. It was right in your side." He ran a finger from my temple to my jaw. I took his finger and kissed it. Making us both smile.

"Isn't it funny to think, the last time I was in the hospital, we weren't together?"

"Yeah, that seems like a long time ago, though. When you think about it. You've kept yourself out of trouble for quiet a while. I'm proud of you." He laughed.

"I would push you, but I'm too weak." I smiled.

"I'll let you rest then.: He said.

I nodded and he leaned over my bed to give me a passionate kiss on the lips. I kissed him back and he pulled back before looking down at me and giving me a small smile.

"Oh, Josh?"

He turned around and looked at me.

"Have you talked to my parents?" I asked. I was really dreading that, considering they haven't really met Josh and all.

"Yeah, I got a hold of them, they said their is no possible way they could come out here. But I think Noelle was going to send her plane. They should be here for you."

"Josh, I don't need them." I shook my head.

He gave me the craziest face, "So, you just almost died... and you don't want to see your parents?" He asked.

"It's just, I've done this before and I don't need them here. I don't want to cause them that trouble." I said. "I'll just talk to them over the phone."

Josh sighed and shrugged, "Whatever, I'll be out there. Get some sleep, babe." He gave me a small smile and was gone.

I let out a sigh and dropped my hands. I didn't need that. I pulled the covers over me more and went to sleep.

That night, I called my parents. We had the longest talk.

"Reed, are you sure I can't go over there?" My mom asked.

"Mom, it's fine. I have friends and everyone here. I just saw you guys." I laughed.

"Reed, I'm serious. I'm not sure if I want you to travel all over the world. You always get hurt somehow." My mom said.

"Mom, I've never been hurt when I travel. I just... mom, you have to start to trust me."

"Excuse me, but I send you to a boarding school that has almost led you to death twice." My mom explained.

"I know mom, I know. But I really really like it there. I can't leave. My whole life is at Easton now. Not Croton, I was not nearly this popular there." I said.

"So this is all for popularity?"

"No mom! I didn't have friends, okay? I didn't have people to rely on, no one to hang out with on the weekends, mom I didn't have a boyfriend. You don't understand... _how much..._ I love these people. I'm happy now mom... I'm happy." I said truthfully.

She was silent and I knew I got to her. "Reed, I want you to be happy, I do. So I'm going to let you stay. But, if there are anymore incidents this big, I'm not letting you go back." She said.

"Okay, you've got a deal." I said. I could do this... no more drama I guess.

"Okay, I'll talk to you later sweetie."

"Bye, mom." I smiled and hung up.

Josh walked in at that moment and sat on the couch across from my bed. He rested his elbow on the armrest and put the side of his chin on his knuckles and just started to stare at me. I felt awkward just lying there, so I slowly sat up and grabbed my side.

"Stop hurting yourself." Josh smiled.

I rolled my eyes and looked over at the clock. It was 10:30.

"You should go." I said.

"And leave you in a hospital alone?" He shook his head.

"Josh, just go back to the hotel and get some sleep." I told him.

"I won't be able to sleep." He shook his head, "God, Reed, do you just want to get rid of me?" He chuckled.

"No!" I said. "I just don't want to keep you in a hospital all night."

He got up and walked over to me. "I can't leave you though." He smiled.

I sighed, "Your loss. I get to sleep in a comfy bed, and you get a chair mister." I smiled.

"Or, you can scoot over." He raised his eyebrow.

I smiled and scooted over.

"Fine." He got into the bed with me and we faced each other.

He ran his finger down from my temple to my jaw, I started to relax. I closed my eyes and opened them back up. I leaned in and kissed him. I smiled.

"I don't think you're allowed to do this." I smiled.

"I don't care." He smiled. He shut off the lights and let me fall asleep.

* * *

**okay, sorry it was a short chapter! **

**But, it's new years :) first update of 2010!! yeah buddyy :)**

**thanks so much for ALL OF THE REVIEWS! I got 20 for the last chapter and I hope there's a similar outcome for this one!**

**Thanks again for being fans**

**oh, and sorry if this is so sloppy and contains crappy grammar :( no one pointed it out, lol i don't care if you do! But, I'm just getting older and stupider. lol so I don't really have the energy to reread. I just got back from vacation. I was in a car all dayyy sorry :(**

**byeee**

**~Lauren**


	12. You Can Do This

The next day, I sat in that stupid little hospital bed. Josh went to go get me food, Gia was in the waiting room. So I made my escape and went to see Noelle.

I didn't have anything hooked up to me anymore, so I slid my feet on the bed and attempted to stand up.

"Shit." I hissed quietly. My legs felt like Jell-o and I couldn't straighten them. They were all cramped up in the bed. I tried to stretch them out, they still killed. I didn't care. I wanted to see Noelle. I had absolutely no clue where her room was, so I just kept walking down the hall way. I saw a nurse come out of one room and had a chart.

"Excuse me, do you know where Noelle Lange's room is?" I asked.

She nodded, "Room 2008." I thanked her and walked faster to the room ahead. When I arrived to room 2008, I looked at the bed. There, lied a little weak Noelle. I walked up to her as fast as I could – which wasn't very fast because I had Jell-o legs. She saw me and smiled.

"And she's alive." She laughed.

My smile went to a frown. "No thanks to you."

"If I do recall, I was the one who brought the paramedics into the room." She said. She looked slimmer than usual. You wouldn't have noticed anything if you weren't her best friend. But I noticed. She had skinnier arms. And her face was a bit thinner. Nothing big, she was only there for like two days.

"How's Dash?"

"He's actually in better condition. I think he's getting out today. So am I." She said. I noticed the tube connected into her wrist. I looked up to her.

"That's good, I don't think I'm getting out until later tomorrow." I sighed.

"Well yeah, you were stabbed in the side." Noelle said.

"Miss Lange, a nurse is here to discharge you." She nodded and the lady went away and in came a nurse. I sat down on the chair facing Noelle's bed. I watched as she pulled the needles out of her arms and helped her get out of bed. Noelle actually walked a lot better than I did.

She walked over to the window and stretched her arms up. "Well it's good to know the bitch didn't take over to the rest of the world." She laughed.

I forced a smiled and rested my head on my hand.

"All your things are right here, we need you to go fill out some information at the front counter." The nurse said sweetly and then left.

"Well, I'm going to go do that. I think you should go back to your room." She sighed.

I nodded and started to walk back. I shuffled my feet along slowly, dreading going back into the boring white walled cell I've been stuck into. But I went back anyways. And as I shuffled back in I decided to call my parents... maybe constance... and a few other people. No one had much to say. So, feeling defeated... I went back to bed.

Three days later and I was finally out of that place. I was so happy to escape I had Josh drive me up to this ice cream parlor and celebrate.

"You really don't like hospitals don't you?" Josh laughed at me while I smiled when our ice cream was served to our table. He was wearing a blue and navy blue stripped collared shirt. It was from Abercrombie & Fitch and highlighted his gorgeous eyes.

"Hate them." I made my eyes big with my smile.

"You seem so happy."

"Well, I do have a lot of things to be happy about." I sighed.

"What? The fact that you have 20 stitches in your stomach?" He smiled.

I held my stomach just hearing that. "Saying it makes it worse." I frowned.

"Sorry." He shook his head.

"No, I'm happy about being in Italy. And being with my friends and my amazing boyfriend." I smiled. I swung my foot a little and tapped his calf.

He smiled, "I know, it's nice here. Sucks we have to leave tomorrow."

I looked down at the ice cream. "I can't believe I spent all that time in the hospital. I couldn't at least stay here for a little longer."

"I know, it sucks. But hey, you'll have just as much fun when we're back at Easton." He said. We exchanged eye rolls, both knowing he was being sarcastic. There was no way Easton was going to be fun. But in a way, it was going to be peaceful. My stalker was gone. Anybody associated with her was gone. I was free. And the feeling was amazing. It's like getting out of jail... or the hospital.

We finished our ice creams and then left. Josh drove me back to the hotel were we finished packing everything up. I put on a little bit more make up for dinner, and then we were leaving again. Noelle wanted to go try this place before we left. And I had to agree with her. She looked normal now, like her usual self. I couldn't even tell she was held hostage for a few days. Which wasn't half as bad as being slowly stabbed in the side... No, that part was left to me. Yippee.

We all drived together to dinner. Did you know Noelle and Dash just love PDA? No seriously, they can't keep their hands off each other.

"What's with you two?" Astrid asked, obvious to the public make out sessions.

"We barely see each other anymore." She said.

"We just spent a week here together.." Josh screwed his face into a confused look.

"... I know. I never get to see him. I have grades to maintain. You need to have a college boyfriend to understand I guess." She frowned.

"You guys were stuck in a cave together for like three days." I laughed.

Noelle rolled her eyes. Knowing I won this argument.

I smiled. When we finally arrived to the place, we all filed out and quickly got our seats. Of course, Ivy was brought my Gage. Who was now all of a sudden acting like a 30 year old. Seriously, if you went up and started talking to him... he would actually say something nice without talking about getting high or wasted. It was weird.

"Uhm, I would like to make a toast!" Dash stood up and held his champagne glass. We all looked up at him, wondering what he was going to say.

"You guys, you're my best friends... all of you. It's sad that I have to see some of you split off to Easton, and the other half go on to Yale. I know a lot of you are going to be in College next year... but I just wanted to let you know... I like this. This trip was the best fucking idea we have ever come up with. And since this is our last day... well night, here, I think we should have a kick ass time!" He practically cheered.

Everyone laughed and someone whooped.

"So, here's to us. The ones everyone wishes they were!"

"To us!" Everyone cheered. Glasses were tipped together, and the clatter was overcoming the room. Everyone was laughing. Everyone was smiling. You would have never guessed there was a life threatening incident the other day.

_The ones everyone wishes they were_.

Yes, Reed, you are one of them. You are the girl everyone wishes she was. You are the girl you always wished you were. You have done it.

I silently congratulated myself and took a sip of sparkling water. I smiled and set it down. Josh was talking to Trey about the surf. Noelle and Dash were whispering to each other. The Billings girls all talked about what their going to wear tomorrow.

I joined in on the little conversations between Constance and Rose.

And finally, in a long time.

I felt at home.

The next day, I woke up and decided to wake Josh up too. I rolled over to face him and took his hand, playing with her fingers. He didn't react. So I sat up a bit and started to give him nudges. I whispered in his ear to wake up.

He smiled and whispered, "Not now."

"We have to be on the plane in 2 hours." I smiled at him, whispering still.

Josh wrapped his arm around me so I was tightly up against his chest. I giggled and tried to push away.

"Come on, we have to get the rest of the stuff packed up."

"Didn't we pack last night?"

"Not everything." I pulled from his grip and got up and went to the bathroom. After taking a shower, I got out, changed, and then found Josh placing extra clothes in his duffel bag.

"I really don't want to leave." He said as I wrapped my arms around him from behind. He turned to face me and grabbed my waist.

"I really don't either." I leaned in and kissed him sweetly on the lips and pulled back.

"Why don't we just stay here?" He asked.

"Because my parents would kill me."

"I think they would give you a break... you know since two other people tried to do that."

I rolled my eyes. "Just finish packing." He laughed at me and turned back to his suitcase. I walked out onto the balcony in the hotel room. It over looked the most gorgeous part of Italy. I couldn't believe it. I wasn't ready to leave. But I knew I had to. I didn't want to face Easton again. I can't go back and see all those people. Their stares, glares, and whispers. Burning holes in my back like there was no tomorrow.

_You can do it, Reed. You can do it._

That's all I had to tell myself. Because I could do it. I could get through this... right?

* * *

Well, this was definently THE WORST chapter in this whole book. I actually thing this book kinda slacks when it's not taking place in Easton. So don't worry, they'll be back there in no time. This was kinda just a filler, I mean you sorta got some new stuff, not really. Sorry you had to go through that. But please review so I don't think I lost you guys.

And suggestions? I'm planning on making this story a bit longer I just need some scandals to squeeze in here and there.

Thanks for reading(:

~Lauren


	13. Acceptance

"So are you happy to be back?" Josh asked looking over at me. We were at the soccer field, laying back on the bleachers. Looking up at the sky. It was the closest thing to a date. And the weather was finally getting warmer. It finally started to look like spring. I was wearing jeans and a tank top. With Marc Jacobs ballet flats. It was that warm. I looked over at Josh, my one hand on my stomach, the other on the warm bleacher I was sitting on. We were laying on the bleachers above and man, it felt right. Just being here with him. Just being home.

"Yeah, I actually am." I said after that long pause.

"Me too, in a way. I mean. It is my last full month here." He said looking back to the sky. It was 4. The sun wouldn't start setting for another hour.

"I'm going to miss you." I looked over at him and squinted.

It was Tuesday. We got back from vacation two days ago. And it felt like I've been here for a year straight. All that unpacking for Noelle.

"I'll miss you too." He said. He gently grabbed my free hand on the bleacher closest to him and gave me a small smile and a squeeze. I leaned in and kissed him slowly. Passionately. He kissed me back the same way. I slowly pulled away and looked back up at the sky.

"Do you ever wonder, how close the sky seems... but how far away it really is?" I asked him pointing to the clouds.

He was silent. "Yeah. It seems like I can just touch it."

"Like it's a painting?"

Josh laughed, "Yeah, like it's a painting."

We were silent.

"Oh shit, I almost forgot." Josh reached into his back pocket and pulled out a white sheet of paper. I looked over at it.

"What is that?"

"It's a letter... From Yale." He said looking at me.

I looked at him. I knew how much he wanted to get into Yale. I sat up on the bleacher and looked at him. "Aren't you going to open it?"

"I want you to." He slowly gave me the letter. I stared at it, like it was going to bite me.

"Josh, you should open your own acceptance letter."

"That's the thing, if it's not an acceptance letter, then I don't want to read it. I don't want to get rejected." He said.

"But, I don't want to make you upset." I said.

"Nothing that you say can make me upset."

I laughed, "What if I said that I didn't love you anymore?"

"Now, come on, Reed, like that'll ever happen." He said sarcastically and smiling.

I laughed again and gave him a little shove before taking the letter and looking up at him before opening it. He sat up when I pulled out the crisp sheet of white paper from the university.

I unfolded the creases and sat up while I read.

"Dear Joshua Hollis,

Congratulations, you are accepted to Yale University class of 2014!" I shrieked and smiled. His eyes lit up and his mouth dropped. I quickly wrapped my arms around him to congratulate. He hugged me tightly back.

"I'm in!" He said when I pulled back. He was holding my elbows. I smiled and laughed again before giving him another huge kiss.

"I'm so proud of you." I smiled, putting my forehead against his. He did the same and started to catch his breath.

"Thank you, and thanks for reading it."

"You could of done it yourself, me and you both know you would have gotten in anyways." I smiled.

He smiled and kissed me one last time. While we fell back onto the bleachers. The sun was starting to set again, my boyfriend is going to Yale, and I am currently making out with him on the soccer bleachers.

Life is good.

A half hour later, Josh walked me back to Billings. When, I got into my room, I found Noelle looking at one of the many bridal magazines that littered her bed. I laughed at her when I walked in.

"Looking at those again?" I asked shutting our door.

"When am I not?" She asked, she sounded annoyed.

"I guess you're right." I sighed and sat on her bed, placing my phone on my dresser. I picked up one of the thick, glossy magazines and started to flip through it. I watched as pictures of cakes, dresses, grooms, sceneries, and so much shit I wouldn't want to plan out right now.

"I still have so much to do." She groaned, dropping the magazine and falling back onto her bed.

"How much do you have done?" I asked her, dropping the magazine I was looking through. I think I've already seen it.

"I need my dress! And I need to get everyone tickets, and reserve the hotel rooms, and a lot more." She said staring at the ceiling.

"I'm always here to help you." I said getting up off the bed.

She stretched her legs out, making magazines fall to the ground. I watched them from my dresser. My hands were rested on the dresser, and I was facing Noelle.

"I know, I know... everyone's just... too preoccupied with their own lives. I'm starting to think this wedding is going to be too much. I mean, I am a Senior, and I'm still waiting on a few acceptance letters. And, Reed, I am so. Stressed. Out. I can't believe it. I think I got a zit the other day!" Noelle whimpered.

I smiled at her, "Noelle, just because you got a zit, doesn't mean your life is over."

She was silent.

"And, how about you hold the wedding off until the summer? Then, you can focus on school for now, and just being... not married?" I suggested, laying on my bed, looking at the ceiling like Noelle.

She looked over at me, "That sounds so good. But, I already scheduled the area and everything, I can't cancel."

"I bet if you called, it would be okay. Maybe just negotiate a bit."

"I'll see what Daddy can do, I guess." She sighed. "This is depressing, enough about me. Where the hell have you been?"

"With Josh."

"Of course." She smiled.

"Shut up."

"No, I'm not making fun of you. You always are with him though."

"Am I with you right now? I think, yes." I laughed.

"I'm just saying that you two are almost always together. It's cute, trust me. Since Dash is gone, you guys are the _it_ couple of Easton." She smiled.

"Well, he's going to be gone next year. I'm loosing half of my friends. I'm trying to spend as much time with him that I can." I shrugged.

Noelle sat rested on her forearms.

"Makes a shit load of sense. Savor it when you can. Because, when you're stuck here, and he's all the fucking way in Yale, you're going to feel... Weird." She store off into the window.

"I know what you mean." I said staring at the door.

"Ugh, enough of this, you're making me miss Dash." She sighed.

I laughed and got off my bed. I got ready for bed, not sure why I was getting ready this early. But, something inside of me was telling me, I needed sleep.

The next morning, the Billings girls all made their way to the cafeteria. We all walked freely without our Burberry parkas, and Chanel gloves. The usual coldness of Easton was still in the air. We all received our shares of shocked looks as we walked across the quad. Who knew the Pemberly girls were so catty?

But the person who got the most shit was Ivy. She wasn't waddling around on campus. She decided to take the rest of her courses online and come back here only on her graduation day. I didn't blame the girl, she was pregnant. But I do blame her for getting pregnant. Gage still came to school. He didn't whoop at girls or whistle whenever someone with a mini skirt walked by. He talked to the guys still, still made fun of me, and still was the same Gage inside. We all knew he secretly still checked girls out, and still wondered what it would be like if he didn't knock Ivy up. But, that is the least of my worries. As bad as it sounds, I'm happy I'm somewhat out of the lime light.

But don't get me wrong, people are running their mouths about me. Even still, when I walk into the cafeteria, everyone seemed to look at us, and say a bunch of crap. Whenever I walk by I hear it all.

"I heard Noelle is pregnant too, that's why she's getting married right now."

"Ashton Kutcher is coming to the wedding you know,"

"I hear Reed got stabbed horrible in St. Bart's, and Josh got stabbed too. They both have 17 stitches in their sides now."

"I heard Tiffany found a guy there, and he has a girlfriend who's a model. What a slut."

"I heard they found Kiran and she's living in some swamp area a few miles from the beach. I bet she's all dried out of money and has no where else to go."

"Didn't you hear Missy got a nose job over break? They tried to close up her nostrils a bit more, but I guess her doctor did _not_ know what he was doing."

Okay, I have to say, that one was funny. But still, it's bad to have people talk about you. I got in line with the other girls.

"You guys, tonight we're all coming to my and Reed's room. You _have _to help me out with this wedding planning. It's seriously getting out of hand." Noelle ordered.

We all looked at each other. We've had enough of all these "wedding meetings". Did she not think we had lives?

"Noelle, I'm sorry, I can't make it tonight. My parents are taking me out for dinner. My brother's coming home." Missy stuck her nose up in the air. I swear if that thing was up any higher, she's probably be staring at the ceiling.

"Oh, that's okay. You're a bad planner anyways. And you always fall asleep first." Noelle said. I let out a little laugh and walked over to our table, my flats clicking on the floor.

"Ah!" Missy let out a huge gasp, and shot Noelle a stink eye... wait no, that's just her natural look. Never mind.

I took a seat next to Noelle. The chair across from me was empty, and I assumed everyone knew Josh was sitting there soon.

"Where are the guys?" I asked.

"I was just about to ask that." Astrid agreed.

I texted Josh.

**Are you coming to breakfast?**

I set my phone on the table and shook up my carton of orange juice.

"I'm seriously getting tired of this food." Noelle scoffed and dropped her fork.

"I'm seriously getting tired of this school." Portia added. She tossed some brown locks over her shoulder and popped a grape in her mouth.

"You guys, we don't have another break until summer." Constance pointed out.

We all groaned.

"What is everyone doing?" Vienna asked the table.

"I'm going to my parents studio, my dad just got a bunch of new software and I'm dying to fool around with it. Oh, and the new male models on my dad's newest shoot." Tiffany blushed. We all laughed at her and shared a few "give me a number while you're at it!"

"I'm going to Germany." London pouted.

"What's so bad about Germany?" I asked. I wouldn't want to go or anything, just had a near death experience in Italy, no thanks.

"It's all boring. There are a few good shops, and the guys are not very hot." She whined.

"I thought you just got a new boyfriend?" London asked her.

"I know, but still, I just need to know there's other guys I can go to if he possibly breaks up with me or something." She sighed.

We all shot each other confused looks. I shook away the thought and had some of my bagel.

"I'm going to Brazil." Portia smiled.

"Maryland." Rose sighed happily.

"What's so good about Maryland?" Tiffany asked.

"Derek's there." She smiled.

They all nodded. I shot Tiffany a confused look. She smiled.

"Derek is Rose's boyfriend. She doesn't really talk about him much. It makes her miss him. I understand why you don't know about him."

I made an _O _with my mouth and ate more of my bagel.

"I'm probably going back home." I said looking down at my food.

"And I'm getting married, now that we've all shared that lovely moment, let's move on." Noelle said with a fake smile.

"Geez, what's up your ass?" Portia asked.

"Maybe the fact that I have to have a wedding in 6 weeks, and it's april. Or maybe the fact that I'm going to kill someone!" She knew her words went too far. There's nothing funny about that around here. Not after everything that happened.

She stopped, "Sorry, just forget it."

The table was silent. All you could hear was the slight scraping of silverware, or Kiki's headphones blaring.

My phone vibrated on the table. I dropped my bagel and looked at the text. It was from Josh.

**No, me and most of the guys here decided to hang back. I'll see you in a bit.**

** -J**

What the hell could they be doing? I didn't want to ask him. That would be weird. I replied quickly before putting my phone back on the still silent table. Now it was really easy to hear the nasty rumors spread. As if they were telling them to us.

* * *

I really liked the beginning of this chapter, the ending kinda sucked/: forgive me.

but, here's an updateee! Hope you guys enjoyed

please please pleaseee review! the more reviews i get, the quicker I get a chapter up heree

~Lauren


	14. The Truth

There was another party in the woods. There hasn't been in a little over a year. When Thomas was around. It's hard to believe he's going to be gone for two years in the fall to come. But tonight, Thomas was the least of my worries. All the Billings girls and Ketlar guys were here. Amberly brought two of her friends from her old dorm. Noelle was to my left, whispering things to Portia and Tiffany. Kiki, Constance, and London were all sitting to my right, they were all passing around a bottle of champagne, taking sips and laughing as they watched each other drink. I laughed at them every once in a while when Constance would get excited about just being here. Trey was sitting behind them sort of, on a nice fold out chair. Astrid was sitting on his lap, her back to the armrest. Me and Josh were sitting on the ground, I was between his legs, leaning against his chest. He was slouched over me, holding me close. Gage was sitting behind us, to the left in a chair like Trey's. The fire was crackling and we all desperately tried to keep warm. I was fine, I had Josh.

"Do you want more?" Astrid asked me, she was getting up to get more booze.

"Oh, no thanks. I'm good." I said. Running my finger slowly around the rim of the red cup.

Josh had a cup too. He barely drank it though. But he did seem kind of different. like not himself. He must be hiding something. I wasn't going to ask him for a while. I didn't want to drink much of mine either. Tomorrow was not going to be easy with a hangover.

"Hello?" Gage answered his phone in a whisper. "No, I can't come to your room. I'm at a party. No. It's just guys." Ivy, how much do you wanna bet? She probably was trying to keep him on a short lease, since he knocked her up. Poor guy, I kinda feel bad for him.

"Are you cold?" Josh whispered in my ear.

"No." I said leaning my head back against him.

"Are you tired?"

"I little bit. I don't want to go back though."

"Okay." He kissed my cheek and started to talk to Trey about the baseball team at Easton. Josh got on the team again, and of course I've been going to all of his games. I even got to steal one of his jersey's from his closet.

"Reed," Noelle said, she motioned for me to go over to her.

I got up off of Josh and walked over to Noelle, I hugged myself feeling the cold out of range from the fire.

"What?" I asked. Hugging myself even tighter under the trees.

"I found a dress I want my Maid of Honor and Bridesmaids to wear, are you in for shopping on Saturday?" She asked.

"Oh, uhm... sure." I smiled. "Where are we going?"

"I was thinking Mori Lee, but you never know if we can find anything there. And I was going to go out with you after and find somethings to put on the list of crap I'm supposed to get." Noelle smiled.

I nodded, "Okay, I'll see if I can go." I turned to leave but Noelle grabbed my arm.

"No, you're going to be able to go, right? I mean, a maid of honor shouldn't ditch her bride."

"I never said I was going to ditch you, I just wanted to make sure I can go when we get back." I told her defensively.

"Well you're going, clear your schedule." She smiled, I laughed of course she'd want that.

"Are you excited?" I asked she grabbed my hand and brought me away from Portia and Tiffany.

"Yeah, actually I am. I can't wait for the day to come and I get it over with you know? It seems like it's been forever." Noelle admitted.

"It must be a lot, dealing with this and school and drama and all that." I shrugged.

"Seriously, it is. And Amberly won't shut her freaking mouth. She wants me to invite all her freshman friends. I'm not having 14 year olds at my wedding unless their really close friends... sorry." She said.

"Ignore her." I scoffed.

"So you and Hollis look good." She smirked.

I looked over at him and smiled, "Yeah better than ever."

"Maybe that's the next wedding around here." Noelle smiled.

I shook my head no. "We're not thinking about it. Like of course we're probably going to end up getting married. But not right now. Not until we're out of college at least." I said. "Didn't we have this conversation before winter break?"

"Yeah we did, you guys won't be able to wait until you're out of college." Noelle said.

"I don't want to worry about planning a wedding like you are now though. I don't think I could hold it together like you." I said.

"I don't think anyone could." Noelle said sarcastically. I laughed with her and gave her a shove. She walked back over to Portia and Tiffany and I returned to Josh. I sat back in between his legs. He wrapped his arms around me and I ran my hand down his knee and calf.

"So what exactly were you doing the yesterday with the guys?" I asked Josh looking up at him.

He paused and looked up, as if he was trying to remember something.

"Uhm, I can't tell you." Josh said.

"Josh." I whined and turned.

"What?" He asked.

I forced a laugh, "Is it a surprise or something?"

"I shouldn't tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"It's not my place." He said. "I can't tell you here."

I turned around more too look at him. When I saw the hurt in his eyes, I let my mouth drop a bit. I got up and reached for his hand. "Let's go."

He looked around and then got up with me. We went into the woods, and while people shouted "Get some" at us, we ignored them. When we were far enough from the party were we couldn't hear anything, I turned to Josh. He looked down at me, and then his face turned to shame and anger.

"Josh." I breathed and reached up to touch him. But he put his hands behind his head and turned away from me.

"Josh?" I asked a little bit more firmer.

He faced me and dropped his arms.

"Tell me. What's wrong." I said getting closer to him. I reached up and gently pushed some curls off his face. "Josh, you know you can tell me anything." I looked at him.

"It's my dad." He said.

"What about your dad?" I asked dropping my hand.

"He has cancer." He whispered. I've never seen Josh so upset. Not since the last time I was in the hospital. I gasped and quickly wrapped my arms around him. I squeezed him close to me and dug my face into his shoulder. He squeezed me as close as he could.

Why do good things like this happen to people who are saints like Josh's dad? He is the nicest man I know, next to Josh. I can't imagine the pain Josh is going through. Josh's parents were like my own. What would happen to Josh if he lost his dad? How can he?

I pulled away to look at him, I could barely see his face because of how dark it was. But I still needed to see him. I needed to comfort him.

"Josh," I whispered. "You have no idea how sorry I am."

"Please... please don't say sorry. He's not dead... yet." Josh begged.

"Josh, your dad is strong. He's not going to die. Please, don't say he's going to die."

"I just... Reed... I don't know what to do." He whined.

"So you weren't with the guys?" I asked.

"No. I was on the phone with my mom all morning." ['

I hugged him again and got up on my tip toes to hug him closer. "Josh, you know I'm here for you what ever happens, I'm always here for you." I whispered in his ear.

"I know, and same for you." He hugged me back.

"Josh, we need to go see your parents. Where are they?" I asked.

"Reed, we can't go see them right now."

"Then over the weekend." I said. Shoot. "Wait."

"What Noelle is dragging you around somewhere?" He asked.

"She wanted to go dress shopping." I looked down at my feet.

"So, are you going to go?" He asked.

"Can we go like after the whole thing?" I asked him.

"Reed, my dad is sitting at home, sick." He backed up.

"Josh, I know where is he going to go?" I asked. I quickly regretted saying that when I saw his face. "I mean, we can leave saturday night, and be there that same night. Your parent's place is only a few hours away from Easton. Then we can spend all sunday there. And we could come back monday morning and then just skip classes the rest of the day. I'll come hang out in your dorm." I told him stepping closer.

He thought about it for a minute. Then looked up at me, "I'll ask my mom." He nodded.

"And, I'll leave you and your dad alone so you can spend time with him. I'll be with your mom." I told him. I was so bad at comforting people. I can't just go and kiss people like I do for Josh.

"Okay." He nodded again.

"Okay." I nodded to. "And, Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"If you want... you can cry." I told him.

He laughed at this. Why is he laughing? "I can't cry. I'm just really angry." He said.

I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion then remembered.

He pointed to his head, "It's the meds."

I hugged him but this time pulled away to give him an amazing kiss. He barely kissed me back at first. I understood why. But when he finally did kiss back, I think he felt something this time. And it was the same thing I did. Like it was all gone.

* * *

That saturday, I looked at myself one last time. My hair was straightened and I was wearing one of Noelle's Marc Jacob's tank top and a pair of skinny leg jeans with some heels. I grabbed my bag and met the rest of the girls downstairs.

"Okay, is that everyone?" Noelle asked as Portia walked down the stairs with Tiffany, London, and Vienna. The bridesmaids, and maid of honor all shuffled out of the Billing's parlor and into Noelle's car. She drove us into a town just outside of Easton and we went to the Bridal Store. It was possibly the most fanciest and most expensive store I've ever been to.

Noelle of course already picked out her dress right when she walked in, it was gorgeous. It was white all around, just at the top of the torso section, there was this stitching work. The sparkles that made it up were in the form of rounded snowflakes, the sparkles were gold. And made an upside down triangle all the way to the middle of her bust. The silky fabric criss crossed in huge strands across the torso. When you got to the hip, the sparkles are formed again and the bottom kind of sweeps to the side. It was gorgeous. And expensive. A good $750. I wasn't surprised though. I knew Noelle would pick out something like this.

Next was us. We were all going to get the same dress, but I get the bigger bouquet. She picked it out of course, and after hours of searching, let's just say I knew this dress would look great.

It was plain. Very plain but it was a really good color, fushia. One of Noelle's favorites. It was a strapless, princess line gown with vertical draping from the neckline to the empire. At least that's what the tag said.

"It's kinda boring." London sighed looked at herself in it. I slid the soft material over my head and adjusted it in the right spots. Wow, I looked good. I stepped out and Noelle smiled.

"Well, that looks good on you." She pointed to me.

"I know, I really like it." I said. the dress was a good size with my heels. I loved it on me. I thought it looked really good on everyone else too.

"Okay, maybe you guys just need to be more tan." Noelle sighed. "Do you want to go tanning the weekend before?" She asked us.

"Sure." The girls replied.

"I don't think I need to." I said looking at my arms. Noelle held my forearm up for examination. She squinted, pursed her lips and nodded. "I think you'll be able to slid on this one. But don't fade it away from now to the big day." Noelle said.

I laughed, "Promise I won't."

"Okay, you guys can take those off." Noelle smiled. Once the dresses were all purchased, we got in Noelle's car and headed back. Me and her were going to go back out later this week to get more stuff for the day.

When I got back to my dorm, I threw a few things in my suitcase and placed it against my bag as I collected things in the bathroom.

"Woah, what's going on here?" Noelle asked stopping at the door.

"Oh, I'm going to New York with Josh tomorrow." I said.

"For how long?" She asked slowly.

"Just tomorrow, we'll be back Monday morning." I told her.

"Why?"

I stopped, do I tell her? "Uhm, no reason. Josh was going up there and I just thought I would go too." I shrugged.

"Really?"

"Really." I said. I put the little make up bag of crap in the suitcase.

My phone beeped, it was Josh telling me to come outside.

"Okay, I'm leaving."

"See ya." Noelle said as I walked out of our room. I met Josh in the quad and we walked to his car holding hands. He opened my door and I got in. Once we were on the road I spoke.

"How is your mom doing?" I asked.

"She's acting like nothing happened... she's trying to forget about it." He said looking at the road the whole time. We weren't touching. We were barely talking. And it was getting later.

"How about your sisters?" I asked.

"The rest of the family is depressed. But my sister's are just devastated." He said. "We're going to be the only two there. Everyone else is off at school right now and can't get out until summer.

"He'll be really bad by summer. That's when the cancer will be worse." Josh said.

I placed my hand on his on the steering wheel. He brought his elbow to the center counsel, our hands still together. I rested my head on them, I gave his finger a kiss making us smile.

"Thank god I have you." He said looking at me sweetly when we were at a red light.

"No, thank god I have _you._" I smiled.

"No seriously, Reed. How many girls would _want_ to go with me to see my sick dad?" He asked.

"I'm not going for you, I'm going for your dad." I smiled teasingly.

"Oh." He smiled.

"No, I'm going because one, for your dad, two, I want to make sure your mom is okay, and three... we get to sleep in the same bed together." I smiled.

"Yeah, I like the last part."

"I know you would." I looked out the window.

We finally got to the house and I was starting to wonder what the hell I was going to say.

* * *

**Okay, here's my updateee(: **

**I'll probably put the dress links up somewhere**

**uhmm, were you shocked?(;**

**haha well I'm going to leave**

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW**

**and I've been getting a lot of anonymous reviews, is it just because you are too lazy to sign in? Oh well... **

**~Laurenn **


	15. Hereditary

"Josh, Reed." Josh's mother breathed as she gave us both a warm hug. "I can't thank you enough for coming." She was wearing a red sweater that looked great on her against her brown hair. Josh's mom was so much younger looking than she probably really was. I mean she had a kid in college, she can't be any younger than 40?

"Don't worry about it, mom." Josh said to her. He placed our bags over in the living room corner.

"No, really, Josh. He looks excited to see you two." She whispered. Then walked down the hall, and shouted up the staircase, "Alan! Josh and Reed have arrived!"

"Really?" He shouted back. Sounded healthy... I started to walk over next to Mrs. Hollis at the staircase, Josh was soon to follow. He slowly trotted down the stairs before smiling when he saw us. He didn't look bad at all, his hair wasn't falling out and he was able to walk. Maybe the cancer isn't as bad as I thought it was. He was such a nice man. I don't get how things like this could happen to him.

"It's so good to see you two!" He smiled. He wrapped Josh up in a hug.

"How are you feeling, dad?" Josh asked.

"I've been better." He chuckled and then gave me a hug. I hugged him back. People who gave real hugs, my third family practically.

First came my real family, next was Billings. As always. Josh's family I'm pretty sure has gotten the clue that me and Josh are going to be together for a very long time.

"Well, I think you look great." I told Mr. Hollis. He smiled, god it looked just like Josh's. He took a step to Josh, swung his arm around his shoulders and pointed to me while saying, "Never loose her." He really sounded like he meant it. We all laughed.

"No worries, I don't plan on ever doing that." He gave me a wink. Why does he do this in front of his parents? I'm going to melt.

"How about we let you two go take your stuff into your room and come back down after." Mrs. Hollis said.

"No, you guys can go just sleep. It's already 8. I bet you're tired from the drive." Mr. Hollis said.

"How about we come down for just a bit. Dad we did come to see you guys." Josh shrugged as he picked up his duffel bag. I picked up my bag too.

"We'll be down in like 5 minutes!" I promised them and we ran upstairs. Josh led me to the room we were going to be at and I dropped my bag before falling back onto the bed. That actually went surprisingly well.

"Tired?" Josh asked.

"Just a bit." I sighed, closing my eyes.

"We don't have to go back downstairs and talk to my parents. I can tell them we are tired."

"No, Josh. I want to talk to them." I think. So far it was okay.

"Okay, then how about we just leave our stuff up here, go talk to them for a good 20ish minutes, and then maybe go to bed." Josh said.

"Sounds good."

We walked down the stairs, and took a seat at the table. Josh's parents were on the other side of table, so he brushed his hand against mine before gently grabbing it.

"Have you told everyone in the family?" Josh asked.

"Uhm, I've told your aunt Liz. And I'm pretty sure she'll tell Hunter, and it'll get around." Mr. Hollis cracked a tiny smile.

Josh stiffened at the name of Hunter, I made circles with my thumb around his hand. Trying to get him to calm down.

"And we have another doctor's appointment tomorrow." Mrs. Hollis said looking at her husband.

"I don't mean to... I..." I dropped Josh's had put my hands together on the table, leaning forward. "...do you know what type of cancer you... have?" I hesitated.

"You can ask me anything, Reed." Mr. Hollis gave me a small smile before answering, "It's leukemia. It's in my blood. My dad had it, and I had a pretty good chance of getting it too."

I couldn't describe how horrible I felt. I couldn't begin to describe how much I didn't know. And how much I didn't want this to happen to them.

"I'm so so sorry." I murmured.

"Dad, grandpa died from it." Josh said. I looked back at him.

"I'm aware. He was old, Josh, he was diagnosed at 62. I'm only 47. I think I'll survive this." Mr. Hollis said.

It was silent.

"So, it's hereditary?" I asked.

We all looked at each other. Then at Josh, back to his dad. Josh looked like a deer in headlights. I just realized what I said.

"Sorry, that was too far." I apologized.

Josh put his hand on my back, "No, it's okay. I know I'm at... risk." He said slowly. I sat up a bit straighter, and Josh slid his hand down my back and then back into his lap. Tingles ran down my spine.

"Yeah, I think it is. But it might not hit Josh," Mrs. Hollis told me.

* * *

We talked about a half hour longer, just about his disease, he told us a lot. But when we said our goodnights, a wave of much needed sleep hit me like a truck and I trudged up the stairs and wrapped my arm around Josh's while walking down the hall. He leaned his head toward me.

I tried to avoid all night the fact that Josh could possibly get diagnosed with leukemia when we get older. What would I do if he got it? What would I do if he died? I stopped toweling off my face and placed my hands on either sides of the sink._ Take a deep breath, Reed. _I looked at myself in the mirror. Josh poked his head into the bathroom, then soon the rest of him.

"You almost ready for bed?" He asked, beginning to brush his teeth.

"Yeah," I nodded. I shook out my hair a bit, letting the brunette locks fall over my shoulders. I walked out of the bathroom and climbed into the bed. When my back and head hit the soft material, I was drifting to sleep quickly.

Josh got into the bed a few minutes later, I could feel the extra weight. He got close to me and wrapped his arms around me like he always used to. I was facing him so I kissed his chest, and mumbled, "G'night."

He let out a small laugh for my laziness, kissed my head, and said, "Good night." Then I finally let sleep take me away.

* * *

**Okay, sorry this was a shorter chapter, but I think it was only right to end it right here. **

**And, I don't know much about leukemia. Everything I could possibly put on here is just research and stuff I find, if you would like to help me in anyway of this, you can lol. That would be very nice(: and I don't want to get this stuff wrong and possibly offend someone who knows someone who has gone through this.**

**So, shall Josh get cancerrr?(;**

**you'll have to see**

**tell me what you thinkk!**

**oh! and thanks SO SO MUCH for all the reviews(: I loved each and every onee!**

**so do it againn! REVIEW**

**~Lauren**


	16. I'm Sorry, I'm So Sorry

On Sunday morning, memories rushed back into me as I woke up next to Josh. I must have turned in the night because when I first woke up, I was looking at the nightstand. So I turned back over and looked at Josh's face. He looked semi-peaceful. Like something bad was going on in him...possibly, a bad dream?

I didn't want to wake him up, so I slowly got up and brushed my teeth. I smoothed out my hair and then returned to the bed. Josh was still sleeping, his mouth dropped a little bit, I could barely hear the faint sound of him breathing. But I could see his chest rise and fall. He was lying on his shoulder, facing me. I just sat there and watched him. I felt like a stalker after a while so I started to just play with random body parts, like his fingers, his hair, I even ran my finger along his cheek and nose. When I hit the tip of his nose he scrunched it up and flipped over to his back. Just looking at him sleeping, made me want to. I laid my hand on his chest and my head on his shoulder, and drifted back into sleep.

I woke up again and saw that Josh was up this time. He was looking down at me on his shoulder.

"Good morning." I whispered and kissed the spot between his neck and jaw. He smiled and kissed me on the lips.

"Good morning." He smiled. He kissed me again and we kissed, and kissed, and kissed. Until Josh was on top of me, and both of our shirts off– and my bra– and we were headed towards hot sex.

He worked his way down to my pants. But I stopped him, "Josh, you're parents." I breathed.

He glanced at the clock, "It's 9:30. They always go to a cafe downtown at this time." He assured me.

I bit my lip. How accurate could that be? It's not like I know everything Josh's parents do. But I know for sure that I don't want them walking in on anything... or hearing anything, for that matter.

"No, we shouldn't be doing this." He sighed and got off me. I thought for a second, and realized that we couldn't have this chance for a long time.

"No. I want to." I told him.

"Reed, don't say it if you don't mean it." He whispered.

I kissed him. "I love you. And I mean it." I smiled, my heart racing with excitement.

Josh cracked a smile as I climbed on him and kissed his neck. "I love you too." He whispered to me.

I responded by kissing him sweetly on the lips. His hands found their way to my pajama pants once again. I let the rush take me away. It was the perfect way to spend a Sunday morning.

* * *

"Are you ready to go?" Josh asked. It was Sunday night at 9 and we were planning to make the 3 hour drive to Easton. There was supposed to be a huge storm tomorrow and we wouldn't be able to drive through it if we stayed a day later.

"Yeah." I sighed and slapped my thighs with my hands, I was looking down at my luggage, thinking better than to pick it up. I was too lazy. All weekend we had deep conversations with Josh's parents. Some of them were happy, but mostly depressing. We talked about the cancer, about the treatment, and about the possibilities. Josh didn't break down once, all he did was take the pills everyday and he was fine. I started to worry about him having some sort of break down if something did happen.

We had just said our goodbyes and were now loading into the car. I put my only suitcase in the trunk and my purse went up in the front with me. Josh pulled the car out of the driveway and sped down the road. I looked out the window, resting my chin on my fingertips.

The ride home was silent, besides the occasional talking. But I was still tired.

"Hey, I got everything I came here for accomplished." I smiled at myself.

"Okay, let's see...you learned my dad is feeling okay...my mom is holding up...and we did indeed sleep in the same bed." Josh smiled, taking his eyes off the road and onto mine for a second.

I still got amazing shivers down to my toes thinking about this morning.

"It's good, it's good." I smiled, looking at his profile.

"So this morning was just good?" Josh laughed.

"No, no. This morning was amazing. No. Beyond amazing. So amazing I can't find a word to describe it." I smiled.

"Then I'm happy." Josh smiled.

I scoffed and smiled, "So you weren't happy before?"

"No. I've been in a great mood all day. I guess it's what sex does to me." He smiled, showing off every white tooth on his straight smile. I could take him right there again.

"Then that's good." I smiled and looked from him to out the window.

We got to a red light and I leaned over to kiss his cheek, he leaned in for more but I denied. "You have to drive." I smiled.

"You're no fun." He said and looked back to the road.

I rolled my eyes and looked back out the window. "I'm glad your dad is doing okay with this all." I said.

He was silent for a minute, "Me too. I think that if he wasn't, we'd all be a wreck. Maybe that's why he's so...strangely happy."

"Could be, if I had cancer I wouldn't want you to be extremely upset. But we can't just act like it's not there." I pointed out.

"True, true." He shrugged.

Silence.

"How much longer?"

"Like, 3 hours." Josh lightly chuckled. "You can go to sleep if you want."

"I think I'm gonna go sleep in the back." I yawned. I was still tired for some reason.

"Okay, go climb into the back." He told me.

I turned and put my leg into the back, then quickly jumped to the seat. I leaned forward to Josh, "Thanks." I kissed the side of his lip, and I felt him smile as I pulled away. I then sat in the back and laid down. The last thing I saw was Josh's eyes in the review mirror glancing at me.

"Go to sleep!" He smiled.

"Okay, okay." I smiled and closed my eyes.

* * *

When we got back, it was still sunday night. The campus security let us in. I woke up to Josh at my door, trying to wake me up.

"That tickles." I whispered, smiling. Josh was running his fingers down my side.

"Wake up!" He laughed.

I slowly got up, squinted my eyes and looked around. I let out a groan, and put my hand under me, sitting up.

"Do I have to?" I whined.

"Do I have to pick up you up, and carry you back to your dorm?" He asked sarcastically.

"No, that's embarrassing." I frowned.

"Then, come on."

I finally pulled myself out of the car and Josh had an arm around me, walking me back to Billings. I lazily carried my luggage.

"Bye," I smiled, my eyes closed.

Josh gave me a quick peck on the lips and rubbed his eyes before saying goodnight and walking off.

I watched him for a little, making it seem like I was still with him. A cold wind gushed by me, I hugged myself and opened the door to Billings. No one was in the parlor, and the darkness was starting to freak me out. I closed the door and slowly, but quickly, ran up the stairs. When I opened my door, I found Noelle silently sleeping in her bed. I placed my bag on the floor and went straight to my bed. I didn't bother changing. I needed sleep.

* * *

School wasn't fun for me the next day. By 3rd hour I was nauseous. I asked to return to my dorm, and my teacher kindly let me. I walked all the way back holding my stomach. I didn't know what the heck was up with me. I started to go through possibility's in my head. Best guess, I probably caught the flu.

I went and laid down in my bed. The clock read 10:57. I decided to roll over on my bed and fall asleep.

I heard creaking and woke up. I jumped up in my bed, to see Noelle's perfectly curled hair bouncing over to her desk.

"Relax, Reed. It's just me." She smiled picking up her book.

"Sorry, you scared me."

"No I'm sorry, I shouldn't have came in here." She apologized.

"What time is it?" I asked my voice breaking.

"It's like 12. Do you want to come to lunch?" She asked.

"Uhm..." I debated on wether or not I should go to lunch.

"Maybe you shouldn't." She scrunched up her face and bit and shook her head, "You look bad."

I instantly remembered the possible mascara smudges and possibly dried up drool.

"Do you have a stuffy nose? Fever, or like whatever flu syndromes are?"

"Not a stuffy nose, no fever." I shrugged. "I don't know what it is." I shook my head and hung my feet over the side of the bed.

"Well, I better go. I think Tiffany's leaving soon." She said, "Bye, Reed."

Noelle lightly closed the door and I laid back in my bed, looked up at my ceiling.

What the hell was wrong with me? Should I go see the infirmity? If it got worse, I told myself, I'll go

* * *

I slept the rest of the day, unaware of Noelle's random appearances in the room. I woke up again and it was dinner time. After Noelle begging me to go get something to eat. So I got up, brushed my hair, straightened my shirt, went pee, and fixed up my mascara smudges. I figured the lack of food caused me to loose weight, weight that made me just eligible for my period. Which hasn't come yet.

"Come on." Noelle muttered.

Then, we walked to the cafeteria, our hands in the pockets of our light jackets. "So did I miss anything important at lunch?" I asked. My stomach was starting to turn a bit. When I sit down I think I'll feel better.

"No, not really." Noelle said looking straight ahead, "I mean, just Gage acting like the dick he is."

I smiled a little, looking down at my shoes. I was not very happy with my outfit but I didn't care. I was too tired and lazy.

When we got to the cafeteria, I looked up. I was happy my bangs were neatly pulled back a bit with a clip. I saw all the Billings girls and the normal amount of Ketlar boys sitting at our table. I went with Noelle into the line and tried to grab something that would make me not sick.

"Hey." I said to Josh when I took my seat next to him at the table. He leaned in for a kiss.

"I wouldn't... I think I'm sick." I gave him an apologetic look. He smiled and kissed my temple. I squinted my eyes close.

"Then I hope you feel better."

"Thanks." I smiled. I ate my dinner, listening to what everyone had to say.

* * *

The next morning, I was awakened with a huge puking spell. Noelle was seriously starting to thing something was up. So like I promised myself, I headed over to the infirmary.

"Name?" The lady at the front desk asked.

"Reed Brennan." I told her.

"And your here for...?"

"I'm really sick." I told her.

"Okay." She said softly and told me to go sit in the waiting room, which was right behind her. I sat for the little bit I had before the school doctor came and talked to me. I went back to the room.

Doctor Avery had grey/white hair. With glasses and all. He was a man probably in his 40's. Wonder why he was stuck here in Easton's little infirmary, and not some huge successful hospital. He wore the traditional lab coat. His shoes were noticeably clean. Along with his office. Like he had a lot of time to clean it. Which he probably did, not many kids here got sick.

"Well, Miss Brennan, I don't think there's anything wrong with you. Your glands look fine, nothing wrong with your nose or ears. What are you symptoms again?" He asked putting his pen in white coat. He looked up at me sitting on the little bed thing. My hands against the edge, holding me up.

"Well, I started puking a lot this morning... and my back kills along with my head, and I'm so tired lately. And always am nauseous lately." I told him. "Any idea what's wrong?"

He frowned, thought about something and then took off his glasses. "Miss Brennan," He paused, "are you sexually active?" he asked.

It seemed like everything stopped. I couldn't breath anymore. I shouldn't of come here. "I'm not pregnant." I snapped.

"Please answer the question... have you ever had sex?" He asked.

I was too shocked to answer.

"Miss Brennan?" He asked growing impatient. He probably has gone through this talk a few times with other students. All with the same reaction that he was annoyed with it. I was getting mad.

"Yes." I said quietly.

"When was the last time?" He asked, sitting back in his little chair and crossing his arms over his chest.

This was beyond awkward.

I tried to think back to the last time I slept with Josh. It was only two days ago. "Sunday morning." I whispered.

"As in two days ago?" He asked.

"Yes." I breathed.

"Did you use protection?" He asked.

"Yes." I said quickly.

"Are you on birth control?"

"...No." I said slowly. I saw his eyes shift. And he looked at me.

"Miss Brennan, Easton doesn't supply pregnancy test in their infirmity. I will get some for you though. Because, I don't want you to feel like you're alone on this." He said.

I couldn't fucking breath. Why the hell did I sleep with Josh on Sunday? Why must I give into him so easily. We used protection didn't we? Maybe it broke and he didn't know about it. My head was spinning thinking about everything. What am I going to do now? Do I have to drop out of school? When do I tell my parents? Should I even tell my parents? Should I keep this kid? How am I going to tell Josh?

Josh.

I just ruined Josh's whole future. Tears started to form in my eyes. I let them fall.

"Are you sure I'm pregnant?" I asked.

"There is a good chance. Your protection could have broke, or there are other reasons too. But this could just be the flu." He told me.

This better be the damn flu.

I was crying now. And I couldn't stop. The doctor kept telling me how he would be able to get the test in by Thursday. It was Tuesday. Two days of not knowing. Two freaking days of torture.

"I'm going back to my dorm." I told him.

"Come back on Thursday." He told me. I nodded and dashed back to Billings.

I assumed it was lunch, I wasn't hungry at all. I actually went back and puked in my toilet again. I then cried myself all the way to my bed. Laid down. And cried myself to sleep.

* * *

"Reed?" Noelle asked, shaking me. "Are you okay, Reed?"

She must have seen my wet pillow, and tear streaked face. I put my elbow under me and sat up. I looked around my room and started to breath clearly. Then I remembered all that happened.

I started crying again.

"Reed! What the hell happened?" She asked, really worried. She sat next to me on the bed.

I shook my head no. She hugged me and tell me to tell her what's wrong.

"I'm pregnant." I told her.

"What!?" She hissed.

"You heard me... I'm pregnant." I whispered.

"Wha... How do you know?" She asked me.

I waited for my sobs to get under control. I then looked at the door, while I told her everything.

"I... I went to the infirmary today... like I said I would." I collected myself a bit more and paused every few sentences. "And they said, that nothing was wrong with me. And I told them my symptoms. And he asked me... if I was sexually active." I paused again to let in a shaky breath. Even though I said the last few sentences slowly. "I said yes. Then he started asking me when was the last time I slept with someone... and I slept with Josh on Sunday... when we went to his parents place." I paused again, ready for tears to fall from my eyes again. They did, and I tried to wipe them away, and continue. Noelle patiently had her arm around my shoulder, and looked at me, sad and worried. "And he said, it was possible that... that... that I'm pregnant." I spat out. Tears fell again. Noelle squeezed me close to her.

"Ohmygod, Reed. There's a huge chance that you're not pregnant. Hollis wouldn't sleep with you and not use protection." She told me. I nodded.

"Ohmygod." She whispered again.

"I know he wouldn't, but still, Noelle, there is a huge chance that I am." I frowned and cried some more.

"Did you actually get tested?"

"No. The doctor said that Easton does not supply that stuff. So he is going to order this test." I sniffed and wiped my eyes.

"Reed, I'm here for you. No matter what. You know that." She told me. I nodded and tears ran down my face.

Noelle just held me, and hugged me. I was still tired.

"You need to tell Hollis." She said after a long pause.

I whimpered. "I can't tell him. He would be so crushed."

"Reed, wouldn't you want to know if you were going to possibly be a dad?"

"I know. I know." I cried. She hugged me again. I hesitated, "When should I tell him?"

"Now." She said.

"Are classes over?" I asked.

"Yes. Why don't you head over to Ketlar? I'll help you get cleaned up." She offered. I nodded, it was the right thing to do. I should do something right now.

* * *

A half hour later, Noelle was walking me over to Ketlar. My hair was straightened, I had Josh's Easton Baseball hoodie on, with black leggings and my brown Ugg boots. I actually looked like I haven't been crying for half the day. I was still broken inside. Inside... oh god.

"Okay, I'll see you tonight." She smiled and gave me a hug before shooing me off. I giggled at her and snuck into Josh's room. He was sitting at his desk, alone. I shut the door. Astrid and Trey must have been somewhere together. He looked up at his door, to see who was there. He replaced the look with a look of happiness topped with his smile.

"Hey." He smiled and got up. He held my face and kissed me softly on the lips.

"Hey." I said shakily.

"Are you feeling better?"

My stomach turned and my knees almost gave out. I sat down on Josh's bed.

"No, actually, I'm not." I shook my head.

He sat next to me, "What's wrong?" His hand went to my back.

I looked over at him, his concerned face melted my heart. And it felt like I was about to break his. I started to let tears escape.

"Whoa...-- whoa, Reed, don't cry. Please don't cry." He held me close to him. And I felt warmness in my chest. My face was in his chest, and my arms around his waist. His around my shoulders, pressing me comfortably to him. I pulled away and looked at him.

"Please don't hate me." I whispered.

Josh's hands took either side of my face. "Reed, tell me what happened."

I was inched away from him, I looked down at his shirt and whispered, "I went to the infirmity today, because I've been sick the last few days. And he told me... that there's a chance... a possibility that I'm..." I couldn't finish.

Josh looked at me, curiously. "Reed, tell me what's wrong." He whispered, and kissed my forehead. "You can tell me anything."

"Don't get mad." I told him.

He looked surprised. But nodded.

"There's a possibility .... that I'm pregnant." I started to shake with sobs. Josh looked like someone just punched him in the gut. He sat like this while I cried for several minutes. I started to think he hated me. But he slowly wrapped his arms around me. I curled up into a ball like form on his lap. He still held me, squeezed me close again. Smoothed my hair back, kissed me where ever he could.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I ruined everything. I hate myself." I whispered while I cried.

"I love you." He told me calmly.

This made me cry even more. I couldn't stop shaking. My sobs were horrible. I kept whispering that I was so sorry.

"It's not your fault." He whispered back. And told me he loved me more and more. I couldn't understand how he could. But I still sat there, and he tried his best to comfort me. Probably thinking about all the same things I was thinking about.

How the hell did this all happen?

* * *

Soooo...

did you like it?(:

I am very proud of myself, because this was actually a long chapter. There's like sunday-tuesday in here. Very dramatic? Horrible? You suck? I love your writing? Well, i wouldn't know, so you tell me(:

how about an UPDATE deal? if this story hits 300 reviews, I'll update tomorrow (if it happens by then) or tuesday (I don't have school). so reviewww!! tell me what you thought! what you think will happen! just tell me.

Scandal comes out tuesday! excitedd!

okay i'll stop with this!

review!

~Lauren


	17. Together

It began to rain. And it rained like it was never going to stop. Josh and I were lying on his bed, facing his window. Talking. He was stroking my hair, running his fingers down my arm. When his hand touched mine, I grabbed it and brought our entwined fingers to my chest. He had his arms wrapped around me now, and we were lying. Talking.

"So, there is no test to prove it?" Josh asked.

"No." I shook my head.

"And this stupid doctor tried to scare you into thinking you were pregnant?" He asked.

"I guess." I shrugged. Josh moved the hair off my neck and kissed it. I was nice and warm with his hoodie on and his arms wrapped around me.

"Josh?" I flipped over so I was facing him.

"Yeah?" He asked playing with the draw string on the hoodie.

"What if... I really am pregnant?" I asked, gulping.

"Then. We'd drop out of school, live off what ever money my parents can give us. And I'll help you raise it." Josh told me.

"I can't drop out of school."

"Then you can probably stay in school... I don't need school." He sighed.

"Everyone needs school." I smiled. He made me happy even when I was crying just a half hour ago.

"Not me, I mean, not like science class and AP US history. I'm going to be an artist." He smiled.

"I'm glad I fell in love with an artist." I smiled and kissed him.

"I'm glad I fell in love with the prettiest girl I have ever laid eyes on." Josh smiled and kissed me. "Let's... not think about what could possibly be going on." Josh suggested.

"Like, just talk about something else?"

"More like focus on something else." He corrected me. What would I do with out him? He is taking this rather calmly. I'm thinking it's just a late reaction... but still. He has a sense that every things going to be okay. I envied his ability.

"Like what?"

"Like... graduation."

"Josh." I moaned, looking down. Not this again.

"What?" He asked pulling my chin back up.

"You're gonna make me cry again." I said, lightly laughing. I resisted looking into his eyes.

"By saying I'm graduating?" He gave me a smile, sympathetic smile.

"I'm going to be like... a widow." I scrunched up my nose. Josh let out a laugh and smiled huge at me.

"I'm not dying." His laughter boomed off the walls. Making shivers of pleasure and attraction scatter down my body to my toes.

"I mean, I won't see you anymore."

"Every chance I have to come see you will be used. In a heartbeat. Promise." He said.

I held out my middle finger. "Okay." He hooked his with mine and we shook on it. I smiled.

"I shouldn't be this happy." I pointed out.

"You have the _flu_, I should try to cheer you up."

I smiled, then thought. "Well, I have the _flu_. I can't be around you." I said.

"I don't care, Reed. One night can't hurt. It'll be good for you to get out of your room." He said.

He was right, I needed him tonight. I couldn't go back to Billings and just cry about this and mope around. No. I was going to forget about it and spend the night with my boyfriend.

"And plus, it's raining like hell outside." Josh pointed out. I nodded, and laid on my back, looking at the window. The rain was pouring down so hard that it all looked like blurry lines. I slowly closed my eyes, and let my mind calm down. I could feel Josh's eyes on me.

"I think you look adorable in my clothes." He told me, he was lying on his side, and his arm bent at the elbow, his hand keeping his head up.

I smiled and leaned forward to kiss him. "I think you're not getting this hoodie back for a while." I said hugging myself.

"It's okay, you can keep it." He smiled, his smile– which I have pointed out before is very contagious– made me smile too.

I thought about the current situation. How could I not be on a pill? I should get Noelle to hook me up with one. My whole future is ruined. Even though I'm not sure what I want to do exactly, it's still ruined. Nothing will ever be the same.

"I'm sorry Josh." I apologized for the hundredth time.

He wrapped his arms around me, and hugged me close. "It's okay, Reed. It's going to be okay." He whispered in my ear. "I'm here for you."

"I just hate not knowing." I said to his chest.

"I know, me too." He said. "But Thursday will come before you know it. And if you're not pregnant, we'll celebrate. If you are... then we'll start planning some shit out." Josh said rubbing his eyes.

I nodded, "Oh and if we're celebrating... we're not having sex." I smiled. Josh laughed.

"I don't think that's going to happen for a long time." He smiled.

I nodded. He seemed to be thinking about something. More like concentrating. "What are you thinking about?" I asked.

He was silent. "A lot."

"A lot... that you can't tell me?" I asked. I just told him I may be preggo. And he can't tell me what he's thinking?

"No, I can tell you. I just... don't know where to begin."

"I'm listening." I said, turning so I was facing him again.

"My dad. I'm... Reed, I'm really worried about him. What am I going to do if he dies? And I don't know half the time what to say to my mom. Mainly because... well we've never been through a situation like this with a family member or anything." He said. "And my mom, I'm afraid she will fall into depression and be on a shit load of pills like I am. And, I'm thinking about if I should go to Yale or not. I don't know if I want to deal with the _same_ people for another four years. I'm kind of dreading it." He started to play with my hands. I felt his chest against my back. The rain was pouring down so loud it sounded almost like hail being chucked down from the sky.

I could easily put myself in Josh's position. After being arrested, drugged, heartbroken, and cheated on... he's been through a lot. And it all seemed to revolve around a group of girls in particular.

The Billings Girls.

I kept my mouth shut, though. I didn't want to point it out and make his anger towards them build up even more.

"What other college's do you have in mind though?" I asked him. He detached himself from me and laid on his back

"My mind's been set on Yale. I mean I was thinking possibly brown, but I can't go there. My parents want me in an Ivy league. But brown isn't going to cut it for them. When it comes to what school I go to, my parents are strict." He said rubbing his eyes.

I felt bad for him. He was stressing about what college he wants to go to, starting his life, and I have him worrying about me. Me being possibly pregnant.

No more tears were available in me, but yet I still had that soccer ball in my throat feeling. I turned to face Josh. He saw the hurt on my eyes and instantly wrapped his arms around my back. I was against his chest. My face buried into his sweater. I let out a moan. I was so stupid. Josh only pulled me closer into him. He always knew what I needed even when I didn't.

"I shouldn't of told you. It's not even official yet or anything." I said pulled away from his grip. I forced myself off the bed. "I don't know why I'm so stupid. You're a senior in high school. And you're going to be in college. And you have enough to worry about. And I've already got myself into like five billion other messes, and dragged you along with me." I felt horrible. How could he handle being with me? "Sometimes I wonder how the hell you deal with me.

Josh sat up in the bed, "Well, Reed, if this whole thing turned out to be true... I want to know. Reed, I tell you everything. This is just one of those every things that you tell me." He pointed out. "And do you not hear me when I say I love you?" He chuckled lightly.

I stood at the end of his bed, deciding whether or not I wanted to leave. And run back out into rain. Alone. I started to bit the side of my cheek. "No, I hear you. It's the highlight of my day." I gave him a small side smile.

"Come here." Josh whispered. He reached for my wrist and dragged me around the bed until I was lying next to him again. I faced the window, the back of my head against his chest now. His touch calmed me down. And his arms wrapped around me right under my breast. I was comfortable.

"Just listen." I whispered. I carefully listened to the rain myself. The way it came down. It was soothing.

"To the rain?" Josh asked.

"Yeah... it's nice." I whispered.

He was silent and listened. We didn't need anymore words. Now it was all about us. Not Noelle's wedding. Not my possible pregnancy. Not any schools. Nothing. Nothing but us. Josh and Reed. Together. Just our names together made me smile like a little kid. Together. The word that would always next to our names. And no one could ever change my mind otherwise.

* * *

**what did you think? I know, kinda sappy. But I was in the moodd...**

**becausee....**

**I READ SCANDAL AND I LOVE KATE BRIAN SO VERY VERY MUCH(: that, I have to say was one of her best books. by farrr! If you want any spoilers, which I wouldn't want, PM me. I'll answer questions. **

**but I'd like to congratulate dédé for being the 300th reviewer of this story(: she didn't have an account here, so i hope she reads this though. lol(:**

**keep reviewing though!**

**~Lauren**


	18. Tomorrow

The next day, I was busily running around, trying to get the day over with. Tomorrow, I would know. Tomorrow, the truth would be out. Tomorrow, I'd know if my life was screwed or if I was going to be okay. I was hoping I was going to be okay. Since these symptoms have come so quickly.

The doctor took blood from my today. He said that the results would be in tomorrow. The lab had to detect them. I was starting to hate this many steps process. I was tempted just to go get a home test and take it.

Noelle wants to go dress shopping, _again. _She's not liking how long our dress are, but I told her if they were really short, we'd look like a bunch of teenagers who are getting married at a young age and don't know what their doing.

"You know, most teen marriages end quickly..." Noelle told me.

"I didn't know that." I hesitated, sitting up straighter. We were in our dorm, flipping through bridal magazines for the... four hundred and fifteenth time. I lazily scanned the pages over, helping Noelle pick out cakes, colors, etcetera, etcetera.

She changed the date, now they were getting married in June. Right after I get out of school. She was supposed to have it in April, but it's almost the date it was supposed to be one and nothing to planned out. She has talked to Frank, her wedding planner, almost every night on the phone. And she's been going online and looking at bridesmaids dresses for us to wear. And who has been there the whole time... me.

As I flipped through magazines, I wondered about what was to become of Josh and I. I mean, if I end up having a kid... would we have to get married? I don't want to get married right now. And I defiantly do not want a kid. I decided to push all thoughts of it away in the back of my mind, and–

"Reed!" Noelle shouted, standing up off her bed and quickly walking to the middle of our room.

"What!?" I shouted, sitting up.

"It just hit me." She smiled and put her arms across her chest.

"Someone hit you?" I ask confused.

"No, I just got a great idea! A black and white theme." She smiled, "And a some red, possibly? It would be so romantic." She told me.

"For the wedding? That sounds... actually really nice. I think it would be much more sophisticated." I told her.

"Yes, I wear white, bridesmaids wear black. And people attending wear whatever... But it's mainly about us." She said.

"That sounds really good." I smiled, it was something to look forward to.

"I'm going to have to call Frank. Everything has changed!" She smiled and grabbed her phone.

"Hey, Noelle, wouldn't you want to talk this over with I don't know possibly Dash?" I asked.

"I can do whatever I want with my wedding, according to Dash." Noelle shrugged and placed the phone to her ear, "Frank?" She turned to the window and looked outside. I looked down at the magazine again, and saw a picture of a pregnant woman in a wedding dress. I groaned and shut the magazine before falling back into my bed. I decided to get on my laptop and finish up on my History paper. Noelle blabbed away on her phone, laughing and insisting with what's his face... Frank.

Frank was an openly gay man. And you could tell. He always had on his all black suit, with purple or yellow, or pink tie. He always wanted to have the best wedding planned that anyone could think of. Him and Noelle call each other at least 5 times a week. While we eat, while she does homework, and I think he even called when she was in the shower. But, besides the lap dog qualities, he was a sweet guy. I haven't actually met him but I always talk to him on speaker with Noelle when we were planning some of this stuff out.

My phone began to buzz, I looked at it, saw the picture of me kissing Josh on the cheek. My favorite picture of us. I slid my laptop off my lap and grabbed my phone before it went to voicemail.

"Hey." I said.

"Hey!" Josh's voice boomed through the phone. I gave a small smile, but nobody could see it.

"One sec." I whispered. I walked out of our room, I walked over to Constance's room, peeked in, when I saw no one there I closed the door and sat down on her bed. She's understand.

"Okay, sorry. Noelle's talking to Frank... loudly." I sighed. He sighed lightly.

"It would suck to be getting married right now." He said. He quickly realized what he said and took it back, "I mean, we're probably in a worse situation."

I sighed.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled softly.

"No, no I'm sorry, I'm not mad." I told him, "But hey, we know if it's true tomorrow."

"Are you nervous?" He asked.

I hesitated, "Yeah, I am. I don't think I'll be okay if this stupid thing comes out positive." I said forcing a nervous laugh.

"... Can I... come with you?" He asked.

"Josh, you don't have to." I sighed, "But if you want to... you can."

"I'll come. I should be there." He said, his voice getting strong.

"I think I want you there." I smiled.

"I want to be there. I mean, I have to know if there is going to be another Hollis around sometime soon, right away." He joked. I let out a little laugh and smiled. Even in the worse situations.

"No offense, but I hope there isn't."

"Don't worry, I don't want there to be one either. Well... not for a while." He said.

I smiled, I could practically hear his sexy smirk. I wanted to be with him right now.

"Let's meet up."

"Art cemetery? I'm in here right now." He said.

"If I get caught in there with you, I'm in huge trouble." I bit my lip, looking out Constance's window.

"Come, Reed." His voice lingered and echoed through my ears. Like it hypnotized me.

"5 minutes." I said before hanging up and walking quickly back into my room. My long hair fell over my shoulders as I bent over my bed, grabbing my stuff and shoving it somewhere else. I waved to Noelle and she smiled before I slipped out of the room and out of Billings. I had an hour before curfew with Josh.

I walked up to the Art Cemetery. I stood at the door. Looked down at the handle. I went to reach for the handle, thinking how close I was to Josh. My hand flew off at the thought of what I was getting myself into. Before I knew it, my hand was back on. I need Josh now. Off again. Brennan, may have gotten yourself pregnant, you don't need to be kicked out of school too. My hand rushed the handle and pushed it open before I could think anything more than one thing.

Screw it.

I lightly walked in and saw Josh painting. His pants were lazily rested on his hips, I noticed his belt, his blue thermal sweater, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His iPod in his back pocket, the headphone running up his body into his ear. He turned a shoulder and his head from his work, and pulling a headphone out of his ear, to see who was there. His face lit up when he saw me, He pulled the other headphone out of his ear, and put the head phones around his shoulders. They were still buzzing when he walked up to me.

"Hey gorgeous." He smiled. His fingers grazed my hips, tickling me. I smiled before slowly bring my arms around his neck and kissing him softly. His hands ran up and down my sides. The tension still tickled me so I grabbed his hands and looked at his lips to his eyes.

"Stop." I teased.

He smiled, kissed me, and then brought our hands behind my back. Pushing away all air between us.

We stopped kissing and I walked past Josh. Our entwined hands made him follow me over to his work.

"What are you painting?" I asked approaching the canvas.

"Just... nothing..." He shrugged.

"Well, it has to be something, Mr. Artist." I said looking down at it.

"Somethings can just be random." He smiled.

I smiled back at him.

"So... tomorrow..." I sighed, looking up at a ceiling mounted on the high wall.

"Do you have any idea about the time?" Josh asked, sitting down on the couch.

"I think, like after school probably. I doubt I'll be pulled out of a class. Or at like lunch or something." I said.

"Let's hope it's at lunch, can you text me though if it is during a class? I can easily get out."

"Josh I don't want you to skip." I sighed.

"Reed, it's okay." He chuckled. "And, after school I have baseball practice too..."

I sighed. I looked at my flat stomach through one of the dark windows. I let out a groan. Josh looked up at me, I walked over to him, standing above him, he grabbed my hands.

"You need to relax." He said.

"How can you not be freaking out?" I asked.

"What do you think?" He laughed, his voice booming off the walls.

"Shh!" I hissed.

"Sorry, sorry." He said.

I smiled and shook my head. "Got any extra?"

"Reed." He said, his voice shocked.

"Kidding." I smiled.

"How about kissing?" He asked.

I laughed, "I can easily take kissing over kidding." I said.

He pulled me down to him, I was straddling his lap. His hands cupped my face gently and pulled my lips to him. We started to move in sync, I put my arms around his neck, his went around my waist. Gently pulled my hips to him. Gently. As always. I loved him for it.

We were so into the moment that we didn't even noticed the stomping like sound of heels clicking on the hardwood floor. I let out a small gasp and turned my head to see if someone was coming. I looked back at Josh, we both exchanged frantic looks.

Oh. Shit.

* * *

**Okay... so this chapter, tell me what you think(:**

**i'll make another one shortly! i already have ideas. **

**review!**

**~Lauren**


	19. Really

"What do I do?" I hissed, jumping off of Josh. The footsteps were getting closer and closer.

"Hide." Josh whispered, he pointed over to a closet. I glanced over at it, did a double take. But whatever, I couldn't get caught. I ran over to the closet, and the last thing I saw was Josh plugging his headphone back in his ears, and acting like it was doing something. I closed the door, and prayed to God that no one would come out and grab me.

"Evening, Mr. Hollis." Headmaster Monroe greeted. The heels of his dress shoes clapping on the floor.

"Evening." Josh said casually. I rolled my eyes. I turned around in the closet. All I could see was darkness, it seemed like there was just a bunch of paint and rusty old cans in the closet.

It seemed like it wasn't until Josh and the Headmaster had a small conversation, that I was finally out. Josh opened the door, and I rushed out of the closet.

"I thought I'd be in there for a while." I smirked.

"Sorry." Josh mumbled.

"I better get going anyways." I shrugged one shoulder.

Josh started to place brushes in a can. "No." He mumbled.

"Josh." I smiled.

He smirked and walked up to me, running his hands down my back. "Don't leave. I haven't seen you all day." He put his forehead against mine.

"I know, but I have to still do some homework. And Noelle is going to start looking if I don't leave now." I explained.

"Fine. I'll walk you back."

* * *

I was holding a grip on the ends of the doctor's bed so hard I thought the tough fabric would rip. The doctor is going into the back to grab my results. I was praying to God that they would come out negative.

Josh ended up not coming. It wasn't until after school that I got a pass to come down here. I was starving at lunch. And I don't think coming here starving would have been a good idea. But I was on the edge of my seat all day. I got plenty of questions to my sudden anxiousness. All I would say is that I really wanted to get out of this class. Liar.

The doctor's footsteps echoed through the hall outside the door of the room, with him, the rest of my life. He came in and smiled. I was shaking.

"Miss Brennan," He paused. I seriously was getting tired of this suspense. "I have received the test results here, and you are indeed not pregnant." He smiled again.

I let out a huge sigh, a shocked sigh, but I was smiling. And I couldn't stop smiling. This was great. "That is amazing." I gasped.

"I'm glad you are happy. But if does seem like you have a type of stomach flu. And as you said, you're not throwing up anymore. So I think it was just one of those 48 hour situations. But I could still give you medication if you are feeling sick still." He said, writing down something on his clipboard.

"No, no. I'm not feeling sick at all." I said, I couldn't wait to go tell Josh.

"Well that's great, I'll let you go now. Go get back into your studies. Good bye, Miss Brennan." He nodded.

"Bye," I said hopping off the bed. We both walked out of the office and went our separate ways. I for one, was off to baseball practice.

* * *

The sun got even lighter than it was when I went to the infirmary. Which was good, because today, I had a big thing to celebrate.

The baseball diamond was where practice was being held. Easton's fields were very well kept. Back at croton, the fields were littered with drugs and pop cans on off seasons, and on season, just sweaty boys who tried to hit balls to bats. Which was a sad case to see. But, Easton was different. Some of the hottest guys at school were on baseball. A lot were on soccer and track too. But that's a different story.

I opened the shiny gate that lead the the stands just outside the field. There was a guy cleaning out the concession stand, and placing new foods in. A few students were in packs of two or three, watching the guys bat. Gazing dreamily at them, and whispering things to their friends before giggling and gasping.

I took a spot on the bleachers were Josh could see me. Right in the middle. I leaned forward, my elbows on my knees, and my hands holding up my head. My eyes searched for his hair. Then I saw the curly locks standing under the sun. He was wearing a red shirt, with a pair of basketball shorts, baseball shoes, and a baseball helmet was being held in his hand. He was talking to Mark Alberro.

Mark was a decent boy, last I heard Portia was thinking about going for him. But I don't know anything by now, that was back in January. Portia didn't have a very long attention span when it came to boys. I saw Josh laugh and I snapped out of my thoughts.

My phone started the buzz in my shorts pocket. I pulled it out and saw that Noelle was calling me.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Is someone preggo?" She immediately asked.

"No!" I laughed, and let out a long sigh. "I am so happy."

"Oh thank god–" She said, "I don't know what you'd do."

"Oh trust me, neither do I. I don't think I'm going to ever have to go through this kind of scare again." I whispered, aware the the many freshman who stopped talking just to see who I was talking to. I leaned back against the bleachers, crossing my left leg over my right.

Josh was going up to bat. I saw him flip on his hat, and someone yelled a comment at him, making him laugh. He positioned himself to get ready for the ball. I saw him hit three all in a row. Yeah, he shouldn't waste his time on soccer.

"Reed, are you listening to me?"

"Oh! No, sorry. Can you, repeat that?" I asked squinting.

"Well as I was saying–" I stopped listening again because I saw Josh catch my eye while walking away from first base. He smiled big and ran off the field, out of the gate that separated everything from the crowd, and over to me. I got off the bleachers and met him halfway. "Noelle, I have to call you back, bye!" I felt bad hanging up on her, but she'd understand.

"Hey." Josh breathed, tracing a finger down my forearm.

"Hi." I smiled huge.

"So... are you?" He looked up at me, his helmet still on, I looked up at it and smiled.

I shook my head before smiling and whispering a happy, "No."

"Ohmygod!" He laughed, before hugging me, and picking me up right off my feet. I laugh as he twirled me around in a circle in the air. When he set me back down I kissed him, I had to arch my back to reach him, he seemed to grow more everyday. He kissed me back, tucking a piece of stray hair behind my ear. The kiss was hotter than the sun outside. Josh's teammates hooted and shouted lewd things at us, but frankly, I didn't care. All that mattered was everything was going to be okay. My fingers traced his jawline, his holding either side of my face. They were warm. I couldn't stop myself from kissing him.

"Hollis!" A deep voice shouted. Our faces sprung apart, and we saw that Josh's coach was shouting at us. "You better get over here within the next 30 seconds or you'll do suicides down the field until I'm done eating my dinner!" He shouted.

Josh smiled. "I guess I have to go."

I giggled, "Bye."

"I love you." He kissed me again quickly.

"I love you too." I said smiling huge, he smiled back the same way and then jogged back off to the field. I watched him go for a little bit, I stuffed my fingers in my pockets. But then decided to turn around, and head back to Billings.

* * *

That evening, I went to Josh's room to celebrate. We were lying on his bed, making out. Lying next to each other. We stopped, pulling away. Josh's lips were pink from kissing. And his eyes closed. His arms were wrapped around me, and I was lying against his chest, listening to his heart steadily beat.

"Reed?"

"Yeah?" I whispered, my voice not used to talking at the moment, I looked up at him. His eyes were looking deep into mine.

"Reed, you know I love you."

"Yes." I said.

"So I want to ask you something."

I pulled apart and sat up a little bit. "Josh, you're scaring me." I scooted in front of him.

"No, don't be scared." He said, sitting up too, he ran his finger down the side of my face. He dropped it, looked at me, and sighed while running his fingers through his hair.

"I... Reed... I love you."

I giggled, and put a hand on his knee, "Yes, I know."

"But, Reed seriously I've never felt this way with any other girl. Nothing close."

I was silent, wanting him to go on.

"So, Reed, I want to tell you this." He grabbed my hands, and gracefully swung them once.

"Don't freak." He said.

"Josh, you're really getting me worried." I frowned. "Tell me what's wrong. Is there something wrong?"

"No, no. Nothing's wrong. Actually every thing's right. That's why I want to let you know... I want to spend the rest of the time I possibly can with you." He said truthfully.

I was silent, I just looked at him with sincerity, feeling touched. "Really?"

"Really. And I want to marry you, Reed Brennan." Josh said in his steady tone.

I let out a sharp sigh.

"If you don't feel the same way, please, Reed, tell me. Because everyday, I fall for you a little bit more. But, Reed, shit. I've fallen so hard. And that's why I want to marry you. You can't find what we have anywhere. Not everyone has this. And you're probably beyond confused as to why I am saying all of this, but ever since this whole pregnancy scare... I've been thinking. About us. And our future. And I seriously am positive I am going to marry you. Just like I am seriously positive I am going to be an artist." He spoke so easily, yet collecting his words between pauses. I felt stupid just sitting there, mouth agape. But, I let him finish.

"So, Reed, right now I'm just promising you. I'm not going to make you wear some stupid promise ring, or start to become attached to the hip, I'm just telling you.... I'm just telling you that I love you, Reed Brennan. And as soon as we can," He let out a laugh, "We're getting married."

I paused, searched his eyes. And all I saw was more than the thing that I see everyday... his love. So I smiled, let my eyes water up, and then I jumped for him. I attacked him in a hug, and started to kiss him. And we ended up doing that for the rest of the night.

"Yes." I breathed into his ear, he was gently kissing the side of my mouth.

"Yes what?" He asked.

"Yes, Josh, we're getting married... as soon as we can." I said. This made him smile and kiss me more.

* * *

**ehhh, this chapter was okay? Idk, i imagined it being better. sorry if it seems kinda rushed. i hate when chapters turn out that way... and corny. ughh please just don't even bother i know this chapter was horrible!**

**so reviews? thanks!(:**

**~Lauren**


	20. Flirting

"Two more months!" Noelle sang through the house. I was still sleeping, probably the last one... By all the noise the girls were making in the kitchen and parlor, it was easy to tell. Two more months from today and Dash and Noelle would be married. I was happy for her, really, but this whole waking up at the crack of dawn on a monday and making the bride breakfast and shit was really getting old. I didn't even hear of it until last week. Portia and Vienna were dedicated to putting us all into shape for our feature in the wedding. So we walked, or ran, or jogged, or did crunches and lunges all day long. I wanted to stab my eyes out.

"Reed, wake up! We're going for a run around campus!" Tiffany shouted nicely while barging into my room. I groaned.

"This is why you should come back to your own dorm to sleep, you don't have to sneak in at three in the morning." Rose giggled behind her hands. They all heard me walk into Billings at three twenty-four in the morning. I ran all the way from Ketlar to Billings. I left Josh to sleep, but I couldn't be caught there in the morning.

I groaned again, remembering how I wasn't with him anymore.

"Come on! Don't you want to get your legs toned?" London asked searching through my closet for some clothes to run in.

"My legs are toned, it's called soccer." I said in my pillow.

"What about your abs?" Tiffany sighed.

"You guys I'll get up in like five minutes." I promised and laid back down.

"Don't believe you," Noelle said, I heard her voice walk into our room.

Oh shit. I scrambled to get up, and wiped underneath my eyes. "Let me at least brush my teeth." I sighed.

"Five minutes to get ready, we'll be waiting." She hauled all the girls out of my room and to I'm guessing the parlor. I pushed myself out of bed and walked over to our bathroom. There I got ready, threw on some shorts and a tank with my sports bra and I was ready to go. I ran downstairs in my socks and put my hair up after I put my shoes on.

I sighed.

"Let's go girls!" Noelle smiled.

* * *

We just circled the campus, looking like insane idiots. Well, weren't we? It was six in the morning and we were running around campus, in our loose tanks showing off our designer sports bras. And shorts that snugly hugged our hips and small butts. I was actually feeling better, now that I was running. The sun was going to get hot though, so we decided to stop when we reached Billings again. Noelle, Tiffany, and I all went back out for a walk. Just because I was now feeling up to it.

"So black and white?" I asked.

"Yeah, and it's final. Frank won't let me change anymore." She laughed. I rolled my eyes. We were running by Ketlar and got a few whistles. Tiffany waved, the single one. I saw Josh walking with Dan Beaker, a boy from Ketlar. He was a tall brunette his eyes were crazily blue and he was very high def. One of the best guys on Easton... next to my boyfriend to me. They were on their way back from Ketlar. Josh saw me, said something quickly to Dan and then walked over to me.

"I'll be right back... don't wait up." I smiled at them and walked in the direction towards Josh. Noelle groaned and Tiffany laughed. They walked away anyways.

"Hey stranger." I smiled and walked up to him. He smiled and leaned in and kissed me, his hands about to lace around my back but I grabbed them before they could touch me, I backed up and pulled out of the kiss.

"What?" He asked confused.

"I'm sweaty." I smiled and scrunched up my nose.

"It's sexy." He whispered. I laughed and looked at him.

"But you don't want to smell all day."

"We can take a shower."

"You're always trying to get laid, Hollis." I smiled and pushed his chest with my fingers.

"Only by you." He quickly wrapped his arms around me before I could grab his hands. He pressed me up against him, so I had no choice but to just enjoy it. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he picked me up right off my feet, leaning me against him. I smiled and pulled away, still up. He placed me back on the ground.

"Look, I'm all good." He said backing away and spreading his arms out.

I shook my head and looked down at my shoes.

"So I woke up, and realized that my girlfriend left me last night." He teased.

I smiled, "I couldn't have stayed all morning. We would have gotten caught."

"It's cool, but we should do it more often." He flashed me a smile and gently held my hand.

"We will." I smirked.

"So why are all the Billings girls running?" He asked.

"Noelle's wedding, they want to get us into shape." I said, looking at the curls blowing around on his head. He kicked a rock by our feet.

"Aren't you already in soccer? I mean, I don't know about you... but it kicks my ass."

I smiled, "Mine too, I told them but hey, I don't mind running."

"True." He shrugged. He was wearing cargo capris and a pair of tan

"What are you doing out this early?" I asked.

"Dan wanted to get some coffee and I thought, sure I'll go." He shrugged. "He doesn't go to breakfast and I'm a pushover so..."

I frowned and squinted from the sunlight beating on me. "You're not a pushover."

He gave me a sarcastic look and I gave him one back.

"I'll let you go catch up with your friends," He said, looking over his shoulder just as Noelle and Tiffany were running up the hill from the front of the school.

"I'll let you catch up with yours." I smiled and glanced over at Dan walking out of Ketlar searching through his phone. Josh turned and looked at him too. Then down at me. He was getting taller and taller everyday it seemed like, it really wasn't fair because he could easy grab me now.

"Bye." He said, leaned in for another kiss and jogged off to Dan. He smiled when he saw Josh catch up to him. Tiffany and Noelle came over to me and looked at me, watching him walk away.

"Geez, you two really get it on in the middle of the quad." Tiffany blew out a sigh.

"Shut up." I smiled and turned to walk back to Billings.

"I can't believe only two months." Noelle sighed.

"I know, it seemed like it's been forever."

"When did you and Dash start dating?" I asked Noelle.

"Like back in 8th grade." She smiled.

"Whoa. That's a long time." Tiffany pointed out. We continued to talk about all the shit I really did not care about. Like where they wanted to live, how many kids they wanted, kids names, stuff that Josh and I would never even think about talking about. I mean, kids names? That's extreme... even for us. I still couldn't get the whole conversation we had last night out of my head. He really did love me. I mean, when someone says that they want to be with you for the rest of their life... they mean it right? Why was I questioning myself? Josh does love me. I know he does. He's told me many times. I shook my head forgetting about it.

I showered and got ready for school. Today was going to be packed. Three test today, and I still had a few more to study for over the weekend. I couldn't wait for this year to be over with... but then again I could. I was having extreme mix feelings about it all. And then Noelle was making me go out dress shopping again to get new dresses to go with the new theme. I couldn't believe her. I mean, she's changed the theme of this wedding at least five times.

A cold wind blew by me. I was walking alone to my first hour. Noelle and the others were still getting ready, it took those girls so long. I didn't even look that good. I pulled my arms around my bare shoulders and looked up, I heard someone on the phone, talking rather loudly. I looked over to find Dan the guy Josh was with this morning. He saw me and flashed a friendly smile. He was pretty cute. I had to admit. He'd be cute with one of my friends I just have to decide who it would be. He hung up his phone and walked over to me.

"It's, Reed, right?" He asked pointing at me.

"Yeah, that's me." I smiled.

"You're Josh Hollis's girl?" He smirked.

I blushed lightly, "Yeah."

"Yeah, I've heard a lot about you, but never got the chance to meet you, I'm Dan." He said holding out a hand for me to shake. I lightly giggled, covering up the fact that I was scared to hear what rumors he'd absorbed about me.

"People still do this?" I took his hand and shook it. It was warm and big. "Nice to met you Dan."

"You too, Reed." He flashed me a big smile and looked ahead, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"So, are you new here? It's weird I didn't really hear about you last year."

"Yeah, I just actually transfered over here from Barton last year. And I started at the beginning of the year." He said.

The name Barton almost made me stop in my tracks. Cheyenne. Cheyenne came from Barton.

"Barton? I have a friend that went there." I sighed.

"Oh, really? Who is it?" He asked.

"Astrid Chou." I forced a smile, forgetting about Cheyenne.

"I know her... Her and Trey are together right? Josh's roommate?" He asked.

"Yeah, geez you know everything around here." I joked.

"Well, sorry, I like to me 'in the know'." He said.

"Sometimes being in the know isn't the greatest thing around here. Especially when you're the person everyone is 'in the know' about." I sighed.

"I'm sorry, I brought that up. I'm not trying to get anything out of you... just being friendly." He apologized.

"Oh, don't be sorry. It's okay." I smiled, and I could tell he was stopping himself from saying something.

He flashed me another smiled. "Hey, are you doing anything this weekend?" He asked.

Wait, hold up.

"Uhm, Dan if you're asking me out on a date–"

"No, that's not it... there's this party and I think that you should go. You can bring Josh or some of the Billings Girls." He said.

I was speechless, when was the last time some random guy told me to bring my friends to a party? The day before never. Never has anyone done that. Was he just really ambitious? I collected my words and looked at him.

"Oh, well I can't this weekend. I'm going into the city with Noelle." I frowned. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, don't worry about it... I'll find some other people to go with me. But it's going to be at Taylor Renyards house. He lives like up on Rockwidge." He shrugged. "It's fun. He's this guy who's a senior this year. And just having a bunch of people over to celebrate the semi-end of the year."

"Well, if I can, I'll stop by." I smiled.

"Cool. I have to go this way. See you this weekend... maybe." He winked and walked off.

Okay, what was up with that? Was he just flirting with me? He so was. He was flirting with me, Reed Brennan. Josh's girl. This was too confusing. I suddenly got a flash of guilt rush over me. I instantly thought of the Legacy, and those e-mails between Dash and I. No. We're not going back there. We're not having anything like that again.

I rushed into my first hour right before the bell rang off.

* * *

"Reed," Constance hissed. She passed a note up to me. I glanced up at Mr. Wilks. He was sitting behind his desk, sipping his coffee in an annoying way. So easy to do anything in here. He was slurping it up and reading over test from previous hours. I silently as I could, unfolded Constance's note which she folded into some kind of pocket looking design. I frowned and finally got it undone. I sighed and read it quickly.

**What's up with you and that Dan kid? Someone told me you two were flirting before this hour. You and Josh in a fight??**

I frowned and looked around the class. Who possibly could have told her that. And we weren't flirting. Well... I don't think so. I mean if I wanted to flirt with anyone I'd try harder. It's called being friendly, yeah that's it. I still got a mushy feeling in my stomach.

**Who told you that?**

I jotted down the note and folded it into a square before passing it back to her.

Great, now there were rumors going around about me and Dan and I talked to him for what? A mere 5 minutes.

**A group of girls were talking about it... I'm sorry, Reed! Never mind, we don't have to talk about it.**

I wrote back.

**No, I want to know. What else did you hear?**

I passed it back and she quickly wrote back.

**That's it. They just said that it looked like you were flirting with him... and you know... you are so in love with Josh, it'd be weird to see you flirt with any other guy. But if something bad happened with you and Josh I'm sorry, and you and Dan are adorable together!**

She passed me that note. I read it twice. No, nothing was wrong with Josh and I. I blushed when I read the last part. No. Freaking. Way.

**Me and Josh are perfect. Better than ever. Dan was just introducing himself to me. That's all. Nothing happened. I wasn't flirting.**

I wasn't flirting right? I thought while I folded the note again and passed it back.

**Sorry, so sorry! I won't ever say anything again. But I'm glad you two are happy(: you deserve it. **

I read the note she passed back and smiled. I turned around and whispered thanks. She smiled and I shoved the note in my backpack along with the rest of my AP US History stuff. The bell rang and I pulled my bag over my shoulder. We walked out together, I hugged myself again. I decided I'd catch up with Constance later, and went back to Billings to get a jacket. My dorm was still in the same place that I left it.

I grabbed my Penn State sweatshirt and pulled it over my head. Noelle wouldn't approve, but frankly, I didn't care. I left my first hour shit on my bed and raced out of the house. I got to my second hour on time and I could already tell this week was going to be slow.

* * *

"Come on lady's lets go, let's go!" My coach shouted at us while we ran up and down the field dribbling soccer balls. I was neck and neck with Noelle in the front of the group. The soccer guys were watching us as they scattered out of the locker rooms. Whooping and yelling lewd things at us. We ignored them though. I didn't even bother to look over, Josh wasn't doing soccer. He said he much rather do baseball, which was fine with me. He sucked at soccer anyways.

"Come on girls, show Brennan who's boss!" My coach shouted again. I smiled and pushed even harder down the field, leaving the sophomores and rest of the seniors and juniors down the field. I was for sure one of the best.

I kicked the ball into the net and ran off the field onto the bench. I stood around and waited while all the other girls finished their laps.

"Girls, go change, you smell. Brennan, hold back for a second." Coach ordered. I shrugged at Noelle while she walked with Astrid into the locker room.

I walked over to my coach.

"Brennan, you've been improving a lot. One of the best on my team. Have you thought about getting a soccer scholarship?"

I sighed, "No, I haven't thought about that." I said catching my breath.

I actually haven't really thought about colleges either.

"Well I know of a few colleges that will give you one, I can dig up my brochures. I think you can get a big scholarship with your skills. You are a lucky one." She smiled. Coach Anderson had her blonde short hair in a low pony, she was wearing adidas sports outfit and nike shoes.

"Thanks, I'll look into it also."

"Yes, I would love for you to take it into consideration." She smiled.

"Thanks, Coach." I smiled.

"Okay, now go shower!" She barked. I turned and ran off the the locker room to find Noelle.

* * *

"Another scholarship?"

"Noelle, come on." I begged her while we walked back to Billings. I pulled my soccer bag higher on my shoulder and frowned at the sun in my eyes. It was just setting above the trees in the front of the school. We were walking through the quad.

"Reed, I will pay for your college education." She sighed.

"No. I'm doing this on my own. And do you realize how proud my parents would be of me? And I have really good grades. Didn't you get a scholarship anywhere?" I asked her.

Silence

"The Lange's don't do scholarships, and besides if I did receive one, I wouldn't take it." She said, her nose higher in the air.

"Well, I'm different." I sighed. I'm also from a shitty house whereas everyone else on this campus is from huge Estates and houses bigger than the ones combined on my street.

"Whatever, it's fine. As long as my best friend is happy, and still doing my wedding shit," She looked over at me, "I'll go along with it."

"Thanks Noelle." I smiled.

* * *

That night, I was lying on my bed while I was finishing up my math homework. No one else was in my room. My phone started to vibrate, I smiled hoping it was Josh. It was an unknown number. I stopped.

**From: Unknown**

** Hey Reed! It's Dan, what's up?**

Okay, where did he get my number? This is kinda creepy.

**From: Reed**

** Hey Dan. Uhm, I'm just sitting here, doing homework. How did you get my number?**

I placed my phone down and decided to finish up my homework before I responded, he could wait. And I couldn't get caught up talking to him all night and not get things done. I put away all the work I was doing, now finished. I glanced at the clock, it was 9:49. Josh was supposed to call me around right now. I checked my phone.

**From: Unknown**

** I got it from Marc Alberro. He says you two are friends.**

I changed the contact information and responded.

**From: Reed**

** Yeah, we are. I**

My phone vibrated and the picture of me kissing Josh's cheek filled the screen. I stoped texting and answered.

"Hey handsome." I said seductively.

"Hey beautiful." He replied. "What's up?"

"Finishing up some homework." I answered, not telling him about how Dan and I were talking. It didn't matter, right?

"Want to come down to the Art Cemetery?" He asked.

"Josh..." I looked back over at my clock, 10. "Curfew."

He was silent. "You're right."

"We'll hang out tomorrow, I promise." I said.

"Okay, I mean I don't care, I kinda miss it being just the two of us, you know?" He asked.

"I know. I know. It'll be the two of us all summer though."

He was silent. "Reed, we're going to visit your family for a bit."

I stopped talking. "Na...no, no we're not."

"But... I've never actually met your parents. And, Reed, we're serious."

I hesitated. "I know we are, but, Josh. Croton isn't anything like this world."

"I don't care if you lived in a cardboard box... well i'd be concerned... but that doesn't matter because I'd still love you."

"It's just..."

"It's just you're just making up excuses." A light laugh escaped his lips.

"No." I sighed. "Josh..."

"Reed..." He begged.

I was silent. I really really really did _not_ want him back there. With my family. With Scott and Amberly.

"But, Amberly will be there!" I said a little too happily.

"I don't care." He said. "If your brother brings a girl who he met just back in January, how come you can't bring me, whom you've been dating for like what? A year?"

I was silent. He was right. He was so right. Why could Scott bring home_ her _and I couldn't bring this amazing boy back to show my parents? My mom would be very proud. And once dad realized how trustworthy and well mannered Josh is, he'd be supporting us one hundred percent.

I hesitated, "Fine. I'll ask my mom."

"Sounds good." Josh said.

I smiled and we just continued to talk to rest of the night until I almost passed out. I didn't realize what I was really getting myself into.

* * *

**okayy, so it was my birthday a day after i did my last post so this hasn't been EXTREMELY LONG haha but anywayysss(:**

**i'm trying to consider if I want to do another story to this whole plot i'm dragging on... I mean, would you guys read it? And honestly, do you think there's anything else I could write about? I mean Reed's senior year, yeah but idk. Tell me if you want me to make another story after this one ends!**

**well this chapter was kindaaa ifffyyyy. I mean this sweet little dan kid got randomly thrown in there(:**

**any suggestions? By now i'm pretty much open to them all!**

**thanks**

**REVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEW**

**and i'll love you FOREVER**

**~Lauren**


	21. I Had A Dream Last Night

It was Friday evening already, and I've been so busy. All week was school, school, school, and more school. It seems like this week was the week that teachers had to dump a shit load of homework on this very week. I couldn't spend any time with Noelle, or Josh. It was weird. He would call me, but we would basically talk about nothing. This week was extremely boring.

Josh had to go visit his dad on Sunday, he was in the hospital. He collapsed and started puking on Friday and the Headmaster wouldn't find it in his heart to let Josh go. His mom was too busy to call in. It was complete bullshit. Why wouldn't you let your student leave campus if their cancer diagnosed father fell and was sick in the hospital? I told Noelle about it and she said that she promised shopping would be on Saturday.

I decided to go wash my face and brush my teeth, it was already 9:00 and Josh hasn't called me yet. Noelle was sitting in our room also, it was so hot. And for some reason the AC was killed. Our window was open and Noelle was about to run down to Hell Hall and bitch someone out. I was only in shorts and a tank top. My bangs were bumped up a bit, and my hair tied in a high pony. Noelle was surprised by my randomly nice hairstyle.

The whole room was hotter looking than it really was, the hairs that have fell out of my pony stuck to the back of my neck. Portia ordered for her dad to have their maid bring up something that would keep us cool. I really didn't care. Back home the AC went out in the summer, I could deal.

My phone buzzed on my bed and I walked to it and didn't even look at the picture when I answered it.

"Hello?" I asked franticly as I shoved some clothes in drawers.

"Hey," Josh's voice rushed through my ears and I instantly stopped.

"Hey." I breathed, sitting up.

"So I heard the Billings girls are finally melting." Josh let out a light laugh.

I forced a small laugh, "Yeah, it's like hell over here."

"Believe it or not, Ketlar is freezing."

I smiled, "This campus is so messed up. I think Portia even called her dad to see if he would bring up something to keep us all warm."

"Yeah, Gage has a space heater." He chuckled.

I smiled, "Of course he would."

We were both silent.

"So you're going to see your dad on sunday?"I asked sweetly.

"Yeah... I don't think he's doing very well." He said emotionless.

"I'm still coming with you, right?" I asked.

"Of course, only if you want to." He said.

"I would feel horrible if I didn't."

"Okay, thanks, Reed."

"Don't thank me." I said.

He didn't say anything.

"Hey, Josh?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"Can I come over?" I asked. I figured Ketlar would cool me down, and being with Josh would make me and him feel better.

"Uhm, of course. I'll go wait outside." He said.

"Okay, I'll be over in like a few minutes." I smiled.

"Hurry." He chuckled.

I hung up my phone and dashed out of Billings. The slightly cooler air calmed me down. I felt disgusting, and the beaded sweat that was lining my forehead didn't make it any better. I slowly wiped it away. I walked in the shadows, aware of the risk I was taking. I didn't care anymore. I finally made it to Ketlar, and I found Josh standing outside, his hands in his jacket. His body looked like it was shaking a bit, and I jogged up to him and put my arms around his torso.

"You are warm." He said, I could feel his smile.

I smiled, "Well my dorm is on fire." I pushed my head harder into his shoulder. He simply squeezed me closer to him. I finally dropped my arms and he grabbed my hand. We snuck back into the huge dorm. We walked inside the elevator, alone. As soon as the doors closed, Josh grabbed my hips and pushed me against the railing, and my hands went on it, my hips pushing forward keeping him away.

"So you just wanted to come here tonight to be cold, instead of hot?" He asked, running my fingertips down my warm head.

I pushed him away, "Yeah, but my boyfriend is the only one who would take me in, so I'm kinda using him." I joked biting my lip.

He kissed my cheek before the door slid open, "I don't mind being used then." He whispered. He grabbed my hand again and we walked down the hall, and into Josh's room. I looked around, to find no roommate.

"Where's Trey?" I asked spinning around by his bed.

"Uhm, Gage's little space heater party." He said, facing his dresser, shoving last minute items in the drawers. I noticed his keychain that held all his keys to the Art Cemetery and Ketlar, hanging out of the back pocket of his baggy sweats. I watched him in fascination. He continued to jam things in drawers.

"Sorry," He apologized for his mess.

"Don't worry about it." I said wrapping my arms around his cold body from behind.

He grabbed my hands and pulled them.

"Ow." I moaned. He laughed and turned around, I dropped my arms.

I held up his hand and examined the small scar on it. Just as the door was knocked on and swung open. We both froze, and looked at it.

"Hey Josh, do you have any–" Dan's voice entered the room before his body and I relaxed. He paused, seeing me against Josh, examining his hand and him against me. "Oh, sorry, was I interrupting?" He asked.

"Na... No. No, you weren't." Josh said, looking down at me before back up at Dan. I looked up at Josh and then back to Dan.

"Okay, I needed some more blankets, and Trey said he had some in here somewhere." Dan started to glance around the room. His hair was messily styled, but he was still very hot looking.

"Yeah, their over here." I watched as Josh walked to the front of his room, and pull two blankets that were Trey's out of a closet. He handed them to Dan, and Dan nodded.

"Thanks, man, I'll see you around. Bye, Reed, I'll see you around too." He said, and I swear I saw him wink, I smiled and waved. What's with him flirting with me?

"Bye?" Josh said right as Dan closed the door. "What the hell was that?" He asked.

"What?" Oh you mean the flirting, yeah, about that...

"He just winked at you... in front of me." He said, his face confused, his fist were clenching and unclenching. "I think I'm gonna go talk to him..."

"Josh, no! Don't start anything tonight... or at all. He's just a guy like that. They do exist." I pointed out. I said. He was still confused. I sighed.

He walked over to the bed and fell back. I walked over to his window, my hands against my back, I looked out at the campus.

"You have a good view." I pointed out.

"I know, I was lucky this year. Last year I had a nice view of Hell Hall, which was gross, because Blake would come visit his girlfriend." He sighed, hopefully forgetting about Dan. I looked over at him, looking at me. He was lying on his bed, and shifted his gaze to his ceiling. I walked over to the other side of his bed and got under the covers, he did the same and we both faced each other.

"Thanks for letting me come over."

"No problem. It seems like I haven't seen you all week." He said.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," He shook his head, "It's been busy."

I nodded, and moved closer to him. Wanting to be as close as I could. "Are we staying up, or going to bed?"

"Well, I can do either." He shrugged.

I rolled onto my back, my arm sprawled out, Josh started to draw figure eights on the inside of my forearm. I smiled and scrunched my nose, ignoring the tickling sensation going through my body. I kicked my legs.

"Josh, stop." I whined, smiling.

He didn't stop of course, actually smiled. He worked his fingers all the way up my arm and down my torso. I only squirmed more and tried to push him away.

"Stop!" I hissed, I couldn't stop my laughter. But he grazed his fingers over my stomach, teasing me. "Josh." I moaned. "No." He was trying to get in my pants.

"I'm not trying to sleep with you tonight, if that's what you're thinking." He smiled.

How can he do that? I didn't respond. But I did push him away. "This is going to lead to something. I don't want to do that tonight. For like another twelve years." I said turning to face him.

He shook his head, "It won't."

I nodded and kissed him, I really just needed to touch him, and be near him. I laced my fingers in his curly hair, the cold air of Ketlar completely gone to us. We were constantly moving. His hands had a mind of their own, running across my arms, stomach, breast, and my back. I was pulling myself closer and closer to him. I ran my hands up his shirt and touched his chest lightly. I breathed in his scent as much as I could, he smelt like his normal fresh paint today, probably worked on something new. He wasn't picking paint off his fingers, so it wasn't amazing... yet.

Josh toyed with the hem line of my shirt, brushing it up and down. I wanted him right then and there. But I knew I couldn't. It would be horrible, and I wouldn't have learned my lesson. I pulled my hands out of his shirt, and broke the kiss.

He responded by wrapping his strong arms around my waist and pulling me closer to him. I just laid into his chest and quickly fell asleep. It was almost too much.

* * *

I was running, running like I would never stop. Spiriting actually, until I found somewhere to hide. In the distance, I saw a tent. There were four of them, all set up in a row. Corners all together and everything. Perfect. I ran into one, and pulled the curtains closed quickly. I sighed.

"Reed."

I gasped and turned around. Dash was sitting on the bed, motioning for me to walk up to him. I started to, but someone beat me to it. I stopped in my tracks, it was me. I watched as I walked up to Dash and straddled him on the bed.

"No." I whimpered.

I had no idea what the hell was going on. I had no idea why someone would want me to see this. I watched as Dash slowly unzipped my dress...

"Don't do it." I was trying to tell myself. But I watched as I slowly let him slide it off.

I wanted out of here, I had to stop this. I turned to go, but the cut in the fabric letting me out was gone. I started hitting it, trying to find the cut. Nothing, what the hell?

"Dash." I heard myself moan.

"Oh shut up." I whispered. Josh was going to be here any minute. I can't... I can't watch this.

I walked up to myself and started to try to pull her away, but nothing was happening. My hands went right through me. I couldn't do anything.

"No! Don't do it, you're messing everything up!" I cried, tears started to run down my face. "No!" I screamed.

That's when the curtain sprung open, I could feel a presence of someone else. I turned to find Josh. The look of fire in his eyes, he stormed away. I saw myself shout his name, pull up my dress, and run after him. How stupid I was, as I barfed over the railing. I watched it all, tears sprung out of my eyes. And I couldn't breathe. I couldn't. I then remembered, the girl. Someone was chasing me.

"Reed." Someone said, this made me jump, I saw her eyes. Ariana. Right when you think you're done with a person. I ran again, there I was. This time, the Legacy party faded into black, and I was going into a black hole. A sudden burst of white light sent me to the ground. Wincing as my eyes burned. I was there again. I was at Easton. It was cold out. Everyone was dressed in long dresses, and make up that shimmered in the light. I saw the Billings Girls, Ketlar boys. But everyone was crowding around in a circle. What was going on? I shoved my way through everyone, there was Sabine, with a gun pointed at me. I gasped.

She loaded. "Reed, ohmigod, no!" The voice of Josh sounded throughout the room, and he tried to push the gun right when it went off. I saw myself fall to the ground. I ran up to look at myself, blood was running down my dress, and my eyes were opening and closing, as I cried out in pain.

"Someone help!" I heard myself shout, as the other me was lying on the floor dying. They all stepped back. Didn't help.

"Someone help her!" I screamed.

One man in the crowd, walked up to me and put a hand over my wound. It was Dan. He told me I was going to be okay. More and more people soon did the same, and I was left dumbstruck.

Then again I was falling. I was in a room with Sabine. She looked as evil as ever. I noticed the shiny gun in her hand. Everything went white. I started to shake. I screamed, right before she loaded her gun, and released the bullet, letting it fly into me. I screamed out in pain and fell to the ground, I was crying.

"It's over, Reed." Sabine whispered. "Reed," I heard her say. "Reed," She said again, her voice started to get deeper, "Reed."

"Reed!" I heard Josh say. "Reed!" He said again.

"What?" I mumbled, noticing my voice's weird tone.

"You're crying... what's wrong? What happened?" He asked. I started to realize I was crying and cried even more. I sat up in his bed and tried to wipe away from tears. He sat up quickly, and placed his hand on my back. His comforting touch made me cry even more.

"Reed, what's wrong?" He asked. I refused to look in his probably concerned eyes. I looked over at the dark blue wall next to me. Then to Josh's window.

"It's just a nightmare." I said, my voice cracking, and more tears leaking.

Josh pulled me to him, onto his lap. I grabbed onto his T shirt and my head went on the spot between his head and shoulder. He pulled me closer and closer to him, kissing my head, my cheeks, my tears, my neck. Trying to comfort me, and it was working. I wiped my eyes, and finally stopped crying after a few minutes.

"Sometimes, I just think I can't do this anymore."

"What's this?" He asked me.

"This, like dealing with nightmares, and wondering if I am ever going to be hurt again from someone who I once trusted. I hate the feeling of not knowing." I sniffed.

He pulled me even closer to him, kissed the end of my jaw under my ear. I looked at him, He tucked a piece of hair I left around my face out of my ponytail. I kissed his nose, which he returned with a slow kiss on my lips. It was amazing how he could get me from crying to smiling in minutes.

"What would I do without you?" I asked him.

He smiled and kissed me again, and again, and again. We made out like the teenagers we were before we went back to bed.

* * *

I know... I'm a horrible author. I haven't updated since like whaatttttt march right? ouch i'm sorry/:

but here's a chapterr! hope you guys liked it, I'm trying to think what I wanted it to lead to... I thought that the whole situation would just get Josh and Reed in a chapter.. because writing about them in a strength. lol

please please please reviewww! it's actually not that hard, you know... some of you should give it a try

and i looked at my traffic, and only 26 active readerss? that's roughhhhhhh! i thought i had a lot moreee.

3laurenn


	22. I Need A Drink

I woke up confused at first then remembered where I was. I saw Josh peacefully sleeping next to me. I turned my body so I was facing him and whispered in his ear.

"Josh, I'm gonna go."

He moaned and grabbed me, pulling me back to him. I frowned.

"I really have to go."

"Reed." He moaned. I looked at him and saw him start to crack open his eyes. He squinted, there was light coming in from the window behind Josh. He looked like an angel. I shook my head, done with this cheesy shit and got up out of bed. The room was even colder than it was last night. I hoped that Billings was all fixed. I was going to pass out otherwise.

"Reed." He mumbled.

I sighed, "Josh, I'm going to get into so much trouble if I stay." I said. I slipped on my shoes and walked back over to him still lying in his bed. I smiled before leaning down and giving him a sweet peck on the lips, he gave me one back after, and let me go.

"Let me walk you back." He said as I made my way to the foot of his bed.

"No, no, just sleep." I said, pushing him back down to his bed.

"Fine, call me when you get to your dorm." He said.

"Kay." I whispered and then silently opened the door, got out, and closed it quietly behind me. I tiptoed down the hallway, used to taking this route many times before. My fingers traced the wall to my right, and my converse didn't even squeak on the old wooden floors. I could hear guys starting to get up and moan at the sunlight, I better hurry up.

Right when I got to the back exit, I gently pushed the bar on the door to open it, but I was stopped.

"Where do you think you're going?"

My heartbeat out of my chest. Crap. For the first time ever I was caught. I'm so done. I'm done, I'm done, I'm done.

I whipped my head around to see who it was. I looked into Dan's eyes and let out a huge sigh.

"Ohmygod." I said. "Dan..." I gasped. "You scared me." I cracked a smile and pushed open the door, walking out. The cold breeze splashed on my face.

"Wait!" Dan said, he pushed open the door also and followed me out. I smoothed back my hair, hoping it wasn't too messed up. I didn't care what it looked like around Josh right after I woke up... but other people are different stories.

Dan followed me out as I walked through the sides of the quad.

"So, what are you doing up this early?" I asked.

"I could ask you the same question. And why in Ketlar?" He asked.

I bit my lip and smiled. "Technically, I asked first. But I have to leave early or I'll get caught. And I was with Josh for the night."

He chuckled. "You two have a pretty good sex life I guess?"

I stopped thinking, "What?" I hissed, "No, no. No sex for us right now." I said, brought back to my brutal pregnancy scare.

"I'm sorry to hear that?" He said scratching the back of his head and letting out a nervous laugh.

"It's okay..." I trailed off.

There was a short awkward silence, and I was wondering why he was here.

"I'm here this early because every morning... I get up and go help cook breakfast." He blushed.

"Cook breakfast?" I said letting out a laugh.

"Yeah, I'm scholarship too, remember?" He said giving me an uneasy look.

"Ah, that's right." I said looking up.

"It's just another way for my parents to keep me here, because I don't get a full ride."

"I see. I was lucky enough to get a full ride." I shrugged.

"Yeah, well you are lucky. And helping out around here as a staff job just helps my family. I'm not like everyone else here. I wouldn't know what it's like to actually own ten houses all over and shop where ever I feel like that day, that hour." He explained.

I paused, "Wow."

"What?" He asked down at me.

I smiled and look up at him, "Someone who finally understands."

He smiled, I could tell he never had braces or anything, his teeth where slightly crooked. But it didn't look bad, it actually made him really attractive, and he had brown hair that swept over to the side. He had a very strong jaw, and a part. It was something rare.

"It's good to know. If you ever... get caught up in this, I'm always here to talk." He said, nudging my elbow.

I smiled, "Kay... So any reason why you're walking with me?"

"Friends walk with friends. And I don't know, we started talking and I forgot I was even walking with you." He shrugged.

"I see, it happens." I smirked. We approached Billings and I turned to say good bye to him.

"Oh! I almost forgot, are you coming to that party I asked you about the other day? It's tonight, at Taylor Renyards house. He lives like up on Rockwidge, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember, I think I might be able to show up.

"Well, then I shall see you there." He smiled, nudging me with his elbow. I laughed and looked ahead. Did I even know who Taylor Renyards is? Noelle probably did, and I doubt she'd want to miss out on a big party."

"This is your stop." He nodded up to the building.

"Yup, thanks for walking me." I smiled.

He quickly wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. I don't know if he thought it was as stiff and awkward as I thought it was but, whatever. It was just a hug. I pulled away forced a smile, and then went inside.

Wow, can you say awkward? What's up with this kid? Did he really think he had a chance?

Calm down, Reed.

* * *

"Hey," Noelle smiled holding up a dress. "I think this is the one!"

I honestly don't even know what store we were in. I barely knew where we were. When I got back from Ketlar, I went right back to sleep. And Noelle dragged me out of bed an hour later. I'm still exhausted. But she's making us dress shop for bridesmaids dresses...again.

The dress she was holding up was white. All white. With silver beads around the top. It was strapless. And there was a band of the jewels around the waist, and it went around the bare back too. The back dropped down just below the butt. We've been here for what feels like an hour and Noelle finally found a good dress.

"Let's take it and go." Tiffany said, reading my mind. I silently thanked her.

"Okay, I need five of these dresses." Noelle instructed to the worker. I glanced over at Tiffany, Portia, and Rose. The three she picked.

"Wait, why do you need six?" I asked confused.

"You didn't tell her?" Rose smirked.

"What? Didn't tell me what?" If I was being booted out of the wedding?

"Kiran and Taylor are flying down to be in the wedding." Noelle explained, smiling.

I was silent, my face probably screwed into something very confused. Wait, what? Was I even ready to talk to them? The last time I talked to Taylor was over e-mail. She told me that the Billings Girls were lying to me. She turned out to be true. But she never responded to tell me how. And Kiran, I can't even remember the last time I talked to her. She must be somewhere on some billboard, looking as gorgeous as ever.

"So... wait, what?" I repeated, still confused. "I... How are they.... why are you... I'm sorry, I'm so confused." I huffed and rested my head on my hand.

"How can you be confused? Are you mental?" Gotta love Noelle... "They are flying down here to be in my wedding." She said slowly as if I couldn't speak english.

"I know, I just... how did you keep contact? All their numbers changed." I pointed out.

"Reed, please. You really think that I ever lost contact with them? They were my best friends. Of course I still talk to them." She said, turning around and receiving the dresses from the saleswoman. They all were placed in their own plastic dress bags, and looked like butter.

The fine white stood out against the white jewels, I couldn't wait to try this one on.

"Here, your sizes should be in here somewhere, I know I have them." Noelle said, filing through the dresses.

When I got mine, I walked into an open dressing room. I placed the dress's hanger on the hook and started to unzip the bag. I stripped my clothes, and gently pulled out the gorgeous dress. It felt like heaven. It easy went on, and when it was on, it looked great. It hugged my hips in all the right places. But it just seemed to good to be true.

Noelle's changed the dresses at least seven times, and this one was finally the one. I walked out of my dressing room and compared how it looked with Tiffany, Portia, and Rose. Tiffany was in love, Portia and Rose not so much. But it still looked gorgeous on them, and it wasn't their day anyways. Plus, if anyone screwed this up for Noelle, they wouldn't be invited, and she's probably ignore them for the rest of her life. Yup, she was that concerned. So I'll just go with the flow. If she wanted me to wear a hideous and ugly pink poofy princess dress, might as well go for it.

"Okay, this is definently going to be the one." Tiffany smiled, and placed her hands on her petite hips.

"I think the four of you look great, I can get Taylor's and Kiran's sent over to their places. I guess that works out." Noelle shrugged.

"So, Reed, I heard you sneaking into Billings this morning?" Portia asked, walking back into her dressing room. I smirked.

"I believe that was me." I smiled.

"So, you and Hollis... banging in Ketlar. How dirty." Tiffany cracked up, giggles were soon released from other girls.

"No, we don't do that." I laughed, sliding out of my dress. I gently placed it back on the hanger before I put my clothes on.

"Then what do you guys do? Cuddle?" Rose teased.

I blushed, was it really that bad?

"Of course they do, Hollis is such the romantic." Noelle added from outside our dressing rooms.

"Awh, Reed! I for one, think that's adorable." Tiffany added. I finished zipping up my jeans.

"Guys, I just... Josh and I can't have sex for a while. I'm done with it." I said, picking up my bag and opening the dressing room door.

The girls all gave me looks to go on, besides Noelle. She understood.

"Hey, I'm thinking we can go out to eat after. Or just go back." She shrugged, as she handed the saleswoman her credit card and all the dresses. I silently thanked her for changing the conversation.

"How about that cute little cafe right down the street? I heard they have the best biscotti!" Portia gushed.

"Hey, did you guys hear about that party Taylor Reynolds is having?" Tiffany asked, sitting down on a chair. Dan's voice rang in my head.

It's at Taylor Renyards house. He lives like up on Rockwidge.

"Yeah, I heard about that." I spoke softly. "We should go." A rush of adrenaline sprang through me, as if Josh just touched every part on my body.

"We so should, I coul

d use a drink." Rose said, resting her head on my hand.

"Let's at least go back to Billings, I look like a mess." Noelle said fluffing up her already volumized hair. She looked amazing.

"Oh shut. You look fine." Tiffany scolded her.

"Well, I don't know about you guys... but I think I'm going to this party." I said standing up. The saleswoman came back with the dresses all packed in boxes.

"I'm with Reed." Portia agreed, grabbing her dress box.

"Me too." Tiffany spoke.

"Like I said, I need a drink."

We all looked at Noelle.

She smirked and let out a twisted laugh, "You guys really think I'd miss out on a party?" She asked, her weight on her left foot and her hand on her hip. She looked mighty powerful.

We laughed and walked back to the limo. A party was just want we needed.

* * *

Okay, that was a long one? Sorta, kinda. I just thought I should end it right there.

OHMYGOD PEOPLE REVIEWW! nobody ever reviews anymore  
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sorry, i didn't proof read the last part of this chapter, and i'm so so so sorry it's been a while since I updated.

thanks so much!

♥ Laurenn


	23. Hypocrite

"Do you want a drink?" Tiffany shouted over the loud music. We were finally at the party, it was crazy. People dancing up against each other, strobe lights spinning around, some kids from all over the coast were here. Half of the people I didn't know. So I was sticking with the girls tonight.

I looked down at the bubbly champagne. What was I? An alcoholic? No. I was a seventeen year old girl who was scarred by it. What the hell. I took a glass from Tiffany, and swung it back, drinking it all. They all laughed at my hyper act and I took another.

A random guy came up and started to dance with me. I backed off and replaced myself with Portia.

"Reed!" Noelle laughed.

"What, I have a boyfriend." I smiled.

"It's just a dance."

I shrugged, I wouldn't want to do that, it's pretty close to cheating.

"Well, nobody said that I can't." Noelle winked, I gasped and watched as she walked onto the floor. Great, I better go with her, I left my glass and got up to go after her, but someone grabbed my arm. I looked back to see who was there.

"Dan!" I smiled, I leaned in and gave him a hug. He smiled and hugged me back. I pulled away and looked at him.

"Y-You came!" He smiled.

"I know! I brought a few friends, if you don't mind." I bit my lip.

He waved his hand and gave me a look, "Of course not!... But, uh did you bring Josh?" He asked.

I shook my head, "Josh is still at Easton. I came from shopping so we didn't have a chance to go back."

He smiled, "I see." He looked over to the floor. "Hey, wanna dance?"

I looked out on the floor. Should I? It's not like he's a total stranger. I smiled.

"Why not?"

_Maybe it wouldn't be that hypocritical..._

He grabbed my hand, put it over and behind his head while leading me out to the floor. Some song that I didn't know came on, and at first I was facing him, until he took me by the hips and pulled me closer. By the end of the song, I was practically dancing on his dick. I turned around, thinking it would be easier to dance this way. Dan's hands were wrapped around my waist. I knew this was wrong. But I couldn't stop. I tried to pull his hands down but they wouldn't budge. Someone stepped in front of me, someone with blonde curly hair. I stopped dancing and looked at him. It wasn't Josh, but I felt a surge of regret and guilt. I faced Dan.

"I can't do this." I said,

"What do you mean? We're having fun." He smirked.

"I have a boyfriend, Dan."

"That didn't seem to cross your mind a few seconds ago." He trailed his fingers up my side.

"Dan, please." I begged, shoving his hands off me. He backed off with his hands in the air. I walked off the floor and back to the bar, I saw Noelle with Tiffany. They both waved me over.

"What's wrong?" Noelle asked me, sipping her drink.

"I was dancing with Dan." I said shortly.

"Dan from school?" Tiffany asked. "What happened to 'I have a boyfriend'?"

"Well, I know Dan. And I don't know. I didn't think it would mean anything. But it obviously did."

"Well, just hang with us the rest of the night." Noelle shrugged.

"Where's Portia?" I asked.

Tiffany nodded ahead, there was Portia, grinding against a random stranger. I smiled, she would.

* * *

The party wasn't all that fun. But I'm glad I went. It was a way to get away from everything. My drunkness wore off. I didn't drink a whole lot. I'm not a binger. But we silently got back to campus at one in the morning. We walked all the way back to Billings with our dresses and bags. It was really hard to stop laughing since Tiffany was pretty much falling over cracking up.

"Wait, no Billings is this way." Tiffany pointed to the quad.

"No, we're taking a short cut."

"You guys... this is... confusing." Tiffany slurred.

I smiled, "You sound so drunk right now."

She closed her eyes. "Ah, no. I, am NOT drunk." She giggled. We rolled our eyes. Then she shouted, "I'm wasted!"

I started cracking up laughing, lights in rooms went on, and I could hear people getting up. What the hell? Noelle started to shush us and we ran all the way back to Billings giggling behind our palms.

Tiff successfully ran into three walls while taking the journey from the front door to her room. I slid into my room, washed my face and changed. I was extremely tired.

* * *

The next morning I woke up to my phone ringing at 11 in the morning. Josh's face appeared on the screen. I frowned and answered it.

"Josh?" I asked, my eyes squinting from the sunlight pouring in.

"Reed, where are you?" He asked.

I took in a big breath, "My bed." I laid back down.

"When where you planning to get out of bed?" He asked.

"Uh, never. I kinda have a slight hang over." I said.

"A hangover? What?"

"Yeah, I went out last night."

"Oh, that's cool. But are we still on for going to the hospital?" He asked. I thanked god, he didn't seem to want details.

"The hospital?"

"For my dad."

"Ohmygod." I sighed, rolling onto my back, my memory returning. Mr. Hollis. His cancer. "Yes, yes we're going to go." I nodded, "What time?"

"I wanted to leave right now, but you've had a late night."

"No, let's go now." I sighed.

"I'm coming over to Billings right now." He spoke.

"Okay, uhm... wake me up when you get here." I smiled closing my eyes.

He laughed, "Deal."

I hung up the phone, and rolled back over to sleep.

* * *

"We've got a severe gunshot wound, Charles Tie 28 years old. In a gang fight, and TJ Moran, 26 also in fight. Both beat and shot." The doctor barked at the nurse and residents. I watched as the two men on beds were wheeled into a different room. I absolutely hated hospitals. Watching those two gunshot victims being rolled away only made me think, that could have been me. If I was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

But I shouldn't worry about those two men. I had Josh's dad to worry about. And innocent man, not a gang member. He was the reason I am up so early after a party last night. And the reason why my hair is up in a messy bun. Josh can't get over how 'adorable' I look. I honestly don't get him sometimes. I had shorts and Ugg boots on, with a sweatshirt. It was chilly this morning. And I didn't have to get dressed up to come here.

Josh slid his keys into his pocket and touched my hand, before gently grabbing it to hold. I gave it a squeeze.

"Uh, can you show me where Allan Hollis is staying?" He asked the nurse at the front desk.

"Room A709." She nodded, without a smile. Josh thanked her and we walked to the room.

"Do you have any idea how he's doing?" I asked.

"No, but my mom called yesterday saying he was fine. I don't know about right here right now." He shrugged.

I nodded and pushed my lips to the side slightly.

We came to his room, Josh knocked on the door while walking in. There on the hospital bed laid Josh's dad. He looked so much weaker from before. Yet strong, he was a strong man. And seeing him on the bed broke my heart.

"Mr. Hollis, how are you feeling?" I asked him sincerely, walking over to his bed side.

"Well, Reed, I've been much better." He said lightly chuckling.

He made me smile, the man was slowly dying and yet he could still laugh.

"Josh!" Mrs. Hollis's voice boomed.

I looked over to her direction and watched her hug Josh.

"Reed!" She said even more excited.

I smiled at her and gave her a hug. She smelt like marc jacobs daisy perfume. Her silky brown hair waved over her hair. Her and Mr. Hollis both looked extremely young. It was amazing.

She walked over to her husbands bedside and talked to him. "You're getting kemo today at 5." She gave him a kiss. I looked over at Josh. He gave me a stiff smile.

"How are you feeling, Dad?" Josh asked.

"I hurt. A lot. And I'm tired, I wish I could just go throw a football, run around. I hate being at the hospital." He said.

"Well, at least you aren't always here, it's just a check up, right?" Josh pointed out.

"That's right, but still. Hospitals freak me out."

"I feel the exact same way." I mumbled.

He smiled at me.

"Mr. Hollis, we need to take some more blood samples." A nurse walked in with a chart and a cart with what I was guessing was blood taking equipment. I took a step back while she wheeled the cart to his bed side.

He turned his head, and I tried my hardest not to gasp. There were a few patches of hair missing. I gulped, tears started to bud in my eyes. I felt so bad for him.

"We'll be outside." Josh cleared his throat. He intertwined our fingers, and pulled me out of the room. I managed to get out a quick good bye.

Josh was gasping for breath. He let go of my hand, he turned to face the wall, has hands on the back of his neck. He quickly turned, then turned his head then his body to the window down the hall. He didn't look at me.

"I can't see him go through this, Reed, I have to leave." He searched for the exit.

"Josh," I grabbed both of his arms, and looked him in the eye.

"Reed, let go."

"How can you do this?"

"You don't understand. He's not your dad." He snapped.

"Josh, he's pretty close to it. I can't just let you leave." I whined.

"You still don't understand! How am I supposed to watch the man I've looked up to for the last seventeen years lye there on a hospital bed, aging quickly? How do I do that? Do you want to tell me? Because it seems like you have a reason for everything just about now." He shouted.

"Josh, you can't leave." I said through my teeth. "Your dad is lying there on that hospital bed, and you are just going to leave him? He's so tired, Josh, he's weak. He just wants you to be there for him. So be there for him! Josh I hope you know that if that was you, lying there, and your son was about to leave, you'd be pretty damn crushed. How does that make you feel? And you're right, he's not my dad. But still, make some sense. You _have_ to be there for him. He's always been there for you. And you're choosing _now_ to bail?" I asked him. "And you can freaking tell he's trying his bed to act like everything is okay. Why don't you do the same?"

He was quiet. "I just can't see him like this. I don't want to remember him like this at all." He let out a moan. And sat down in the chair. I looked down at him. He was silent, then stopped it. "I came here to see my dad... and that man in there... he's... he's not my dad. He's someone else. Someone not as strong."

"He still has his hope." I whispered. "He's your dad."

Josh looked up at me. "Sorry for snapping at you."

I sat next to him, not looking at him. "It's fine."

He let out a huge sigh and leaned back in his chair. We saw the nurse start to wheel the blood cart out.

I could hear Josh's quiet breathes. He found my hand and grabbed it. I didn't look at him, but squeezed his hand. He leaned over and kissed my temple, I leaned over to him.

"I don't want to go in just yet." He mumbled.

I nodded and sniffled. I rather not fight with him tonight, after going to that party last night.

And it didn't help that I was dancing pretty dirty with Dan. I shuttered, trying to not think about it.

"You okay?" Josh mumbled looking down at me.

I nodded again, he let go of my hand and wrapped his arm around me instead, I suddenly realized how exhausted I was once I placed my head on the spot between his neck and shoulder.

"Josh." I whispered.

"Hmm?" He said.

"Don't ever get cancer." I whispered.

He kissed my head and rubbed my arm with his hand.

"I'll try my best."

* * *

**okayy, seriously dissapointed. **

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**♥ Laurennn  
**


	24. Either Friend or Girlfriend

"Ow." I heard Tiffany moan. We were walking through the quad, the sun was so hot I thought I was going to melt. I had on a tank top and jeans shorts. My gladiator shoes seemed as hot as the concrete. My hair was even pulled back and in a low pony with a raid on the side. And my shorts were probably the shortest pair I have. It is _that_ hot.

"What's wrong?"

"Soar."

I nodded. Noelle made us run again this morning, and I honestly was getting sick of it. I mean some of the girls were losing weight, which I guess was good. No, it is good. It's just annoying. Everyday at eight in the morning, I was very happy that I got to miss this morning though. And seeing Josh's family was worth it.

"She made us do lunges all the way down to the chapel. Reed, she's crazy."

"I'll talk to her about it. Maybe she's just stressed and is taking everything out on other people." It sounds like something she would do.

We made a turn and walked down the Hell Hall were the mailboxes were. I traced my finger along the little knobs and found mine. I turned the lock back and forth and finally pulled it open.

"Well look at this, little Reed has mail." She smirked. I gave her one back. She was making fun of me only because nobody really gets mail. Only in the beginning of the year. And most likely the end. Oh, and every marking period for report cards.

I pulled out the single white envelope. Typed on it was my name in gold cursive print, my mailbox address and everything. The return label said Alan and Susan Hollis. I smiled, what could this be? I looked up at Tiffany who was too busy checking out a guy walking by. I returned to the card and gently opened the flap. I pulled out a white hard card. It was an invitation. I opened the card.

_Please join us in celebrating_

_Joshua Hollis's Graduation_

_June 25th, 2010_

_1:00 P.M._

_The Hollis's Summer Home in Brunswick, Maine_

_Call for directions_

_(782)839-5738_

_RSVP by June 7th_

Places in the white card was Josh's senior picture. He was leaning against the baseball fence, his arms folded across his chest, you can see the definition in his muscles through his striped collared shirt. He was looking to the left of the camera, laughing. He looked so happy. I traced my finger down his face.

"Oh shit." Tiffany sighed looking over my shoulder.

"What?" I asked looking up.

"I still have to send out my invitations." She remembered.

"When's yours going to be?" I asked, shutting my mailbox. I placed the picture and invitation back in the envelope and started walking with Tiffany.

"Probably in June. I don't think I'm going to be inviting the whole school though, you know? It would get way too out of hand. And plus, everyone else is already going to their own parties and having other parties to go to. I might just invite Billings, and family, etc., etc. But oh boy, Noelle is going to have a huge blow out." She rolled her eyes.

"Oh god. Noelle is probably going to have _many_ parties over the summer." I sighed. Lets see, her graduation party, her bachelorette party, and probably many more, and then her wedding. Which isn't going to be until August now. She just can't put her finger on the right date. But she's still planning. She has more than half of the wedding all planned out. But with finals and colleges and such, I don't know how she does it. Oh yeah, that's right.

She's Noelle Lange.

"So who's that guy you were checking out back there?" I teased.

"Oh, Dan?" She asked, "You know him."

"That was Dan?" I asked. I swear the kid had blonde hair.

"Yeah, he was looking at you, then at me. He's like insanely hot." She smiled.

"You know, me and him are friends. I could get him to ask you out." I smiled.

She stopped walking. "Hmm, end of senior year, I don't have a boyfriend, and I currently don't give a fuck about anything." She put her fingers on her chin and giggled, "I'm so in."

I nodded, and made a mental note to talk to Dan about Tiffany. They would be cute, I have to say.

I saw Josh walking with Trey. They looked like they were in a serious conversation. Trey's eyes darted around the campus. What the hell was going on? I wanted to go up and talk to Josh, but it seems like he wasn't in that good of a mood. Whatever, he can get over it.

"Hey, I'm gonna go talk to Josh, wanna come?" I asked Tiffany. She gave me a yeah right look.

"Bye!" She smiled and started back over to Billings.

I waved and then walked over to him. I slid my hands in my pockets and looked up when I got closer. He didn't seem to notice I was walking to him until Trey stopped mid sentence and nodded over at me. Josh stopped talking too and looked over then down at me.

"Hey," I smiled.

"Hey," Josh said winded, like he was surprised I was even on campus.

He touched my arm.

"Am I interrupting something?" I asked obvious to the quietness.

Josh looked over at Trey, "No. No. We were just talking." He said slowly.

"I'm gonna go grab something from our room, later guys." Trey waved and jogged off to Ketlar.

"What was that all about?" I asked. Josh put his hand on my lower back.

"What?"

"What where you guys talking about that's so secretive?"

"Nothing. Just dicks in our dorm." He shrugged.

"What happened?" I asked. I stopped walking and stood in front of him.

He looked down at me, realized who he was talking to. My eyes flicked over his shoulder and I saw Dan slam the Ketlar door shut and stormed out, he looked mad, like Josh. What the hell was going on? Should I go over and ask him? Maybe he'll answer me.

No. Josh was way more important. I looked back up at Josh. Who was still looking at me. He face, still washed over.

I thought about it, then wrapped my arms under his arms, tightly. He hesitated, as if he was unsure of what was going on. Then he wrapped his arms around me also. Then hugged me closer to him. He kept hugging me harder and harder. I loved the feeling. It was like heaven. I didn't see anyone else around us. My head was on his chest. He kissed the top of my head. I looked up at him, arms still around him, and gave him a sympathetic smile. He blinked.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten mad." He spoke.

I unwrapped my arms from him, and put both hands on his face, making him look at me. "Why are you mad?" I asked, enunciating every syllable.

He was silent. "Follow me." He took my hand and I followed. He brought me through campus. I caught up and walked right next to him.

"Josh, tell me what's wrong." I said in a demanding tone.

"I will in a second, just relax." He was looking around campus.

He dragged me over to the forbidden place.

The Art Cemetery.

I stopped, "No, I can't go in here. We'll get caught." I said.

"It'll be fine, I promise. Plus, headmaster is out on some golfing fucking get away, we'll be fine."

I honestly didn't have any clue why he would be mad. But it was starting to bug me with the whole let's not tell Reed scenario.

We were in the safeness of the Art Cemetery. I felt warm, and comfortable. Josh took a seat on the couch. I looked over at him, as if he was going to start laughing, and say just kidding, nothings wrong. I just want some.

Too bad that didn't happen.

"It's Dan."

"What?" I hissed.

"You heard me, Dan. He's... I can't be around him anymore." He clenched his fist.

I went and sat next to him, taking his fist. "What did he say?" Just then, the party came rushing back into my head. "...Did he say something about the party?"

Josh stopped, "A party?... What party?"

I took a deep breath. Shit. "I—well me, Noelle, Tiffany, and Portia—all went out shopping the other day. And Dan previously invited me to this party. And we went, because it was right after shopping. And it was fun, but Dan just got a little... handsy and—"

"Did he touch you?" Josh asked, mad as hell.

I looked over to the window, thinking of Dan's hands on my side, on my ass, and front. I regretted telling him anything. "We danced."

Josh was silent. "Reed, think about it, appropriately, or not?"

I gulped, "Not."

"God dammit, Reed." He got up off the couch, and put his hands on his head, "Did you cheat on me too?" He roared.

"Josh, please!" I cried, my throat tightened and my head pounded.

"Did you, Reed?" He asked loudly.

"No!" I shouted. "I would never do that to you!"

"Well who knows. Because one minute I have him talking to the whole fucking dorm about you, then the next, I have you telling me you grinded against his dick!" He shouted, this was getting way out of hand.

"You're overreacting. It wasn't that bad." I bit.

"Oh, am I? Reed, I know guys like him. I know what he's trying to do."

"And what exactly is that?"

I was shouting at him, he was shouting at me.

"I'm going to fucking—"

"Josh, please stop shouting, please. You're scaring me." I said softly, hoping to calm him down.

He looked at me, looked at me in the eyes. And could see tears, he stopped. He didn't say anything. He didn't do anything. Just watched me.

Wait, Dan was talking about me to his dorm? What the hell about? We didn't do anything, right? I mean, it was just dancing. I didn't even kiss him. The only bad things were his hands. No. I didn't even do anything. No.

"What did he say about me?" I asked sternly.

"Oh, he was just bragging off the the guys that he's stealing you from me. So we got into this huge ass fight." Josh laughed sarcastically.

Stealing?

We were both quiet.

Should I go?

No.

I honestly wanted to. I wanted to yell at Josh for doing this to me.

"Wait, did you say this happened... Saturday?" Josh asked.

I nodded.

"You mean, you didn't tell me any of this Sunday? I was with you all day. How could you not tell me?" He asked.

"I did tell you I went to a party. And I honestly wasn't thinking about it on Sunday. How selfish do you think I am? I was thinking about your poor dad in a hospital bed, fighting cancer. Because him and his wife are extremely nice to me. I wasn't thinking about Dan at all. I _never_ do." I bit the end of each word.

He was silent.

Shows him right.

"Josh, sometimes, I honestly don't think you know me anymore."

"Are you saying we should break up?" I couldn't read his eyes.

"No." I said, I got up and walked over to him. I placed my arms around him again.

He refused my touch.

"But, by the looks of it, it seems like you want to." I said. I grabbed my backpack off the couch, heading to the door.

"Oh, and if you _still_ want me to go to this, as a friend, or as a girlfriend, let me know." I tossed his graduation invitation down on the couch, his looked down at it through his nose.

He was silent. I looked back. I know, I shouldn't have. But I looked back. And I saw it, under all of Josh's anger, he was hurting. He didn't want to loose me. Well let him think he did, let him see what the words he just said really mean.

Let him fucking see.

I turned around, and shut the door on my way out.

* * *

Billings movie night. Oh, felt so good. I needed to watch a movie or read a book, just to escape my life. No word from Josh. So I don't know if he's thinking about it, or just thinking we're over. And if he thinks we're over then we are over I guess. I honestly thought I should be much more upset. But I also don't think that we are over. It's just a rough patch. I can't live without Josh. And I know he can't live without me.

So I'll just wait it out.

And do something with the girls.

Yeah, this should be fun... right?

No.

Not at all. I decided to turn in early. I dragged my feet up the stairs and shut my door behind me. A groan was let out when I fell back into my bed. I decided that I should just go to sleep.

"Reed,"

I moaned.

Giggles.

"Reed, wake the fuck up." Someone laughed and started to shake me.

"What?" I shot up in my bed.

Giggles again.

I looked around. Noelle, Portia, Tiffany, Constance, Rose and Astrid were all sitting in my room around my bed.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked sitting up in my bed.

"Gosh, we got—!" Constance said loudly.

"Shh!" They all said and then burst into giggles behind their hands.

I was still confused. "Then why are you in here?"

"We heard about your fight." Tiffany smiled.

"What?" How does _everyone _know everything the second it happens?

"Oh come on, a lot of people saw you storming out of the Art Cemetery, just like minutes before you and your boy toy went in. We were guessing it would have been quick sex, but you looked pissed." Astrid said.

"He must of pulled out too early." Noelle joked. I had to smile at that one.

Everyone started laughing.

"We didn't have sex. And we don't. Not at school." I pointed my eyebrows down. "We got into a huge fight."

"Ouch, you guys didn't break up did you?"

I was silent. I didn't know _how_ to answer that question.

"Oh, Reed, sweetie!" Tiffany said shocked, she set down her champagne glass and looked at me. They all did.

"I... I honestly don't know." I said. My throat closed up. I looked at the champagne bottle. Then to Noelle. "Can I have a glass?" I asked.

Noelle laughed and poured me one, "Anything you want. We got it."

"It's like a fat phoebe party." Rose grinned. She was such a sweetheart.

I smirked, and took a swing from my glass. The bubbly liquid went down my throat, and I felt somewhat better.

I guess.

* * *

**hmm; make up orrr breakk up?**

**you tell me. **

**mhmm, writing style was a biiiiit different this week. only because i just finished gone(wake series) it was AMAZING. i highly recommend those books if you're into private and such. it doesn't have all the drama. **

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**laurenn**


	25. Here they come

It was Monday. Monday the 24th. Of May. Partly sunny, with a chance of heartbreak.

I ran my fingers along the long staircase railing inside of Billings. I was on my way to class. The seniors were out in two weeks. That was only two weeks more of waking at up 6 in the morning and running. Two more weeks of Noelle ordering us around.

Two more weeks of actually having friends.

Two more weeks of going to the same school as many of them for the rest of my life.

Shit.

They couldn't get out as early as last year. June was the date. Late? I know right. But I didn't get out until the 18th. Which is stranger. But whatever.

For the first time, I was excited to go home.

I loved the feeling.

Still no word from Josh, it's been a day. I'd think he'd call by now. Saying he was such an idiot. I know what it is. It's the pills. He's fucked up in the brain right now. He just needs to get them back under control.

"Reed, let's go." I followed Constance out into the quad, my messenger bag slung over my shoulder. The air was warm. And humid. Very humid. I squinted at the sunlight pouring on us.

The quad was very busy. It seemed like _everyone_ was out today. Typical monday morning.

"Reed!" Noelle waved us over. I walked over in her direction.

"Look at you." Portia cooed. They all looked down at my outfit. I smiled.

For probably one of the scarcest things is happening.

I was wearing a skirt.

Not any skirt, a white one. With Steve Madden gold gladiators. And a silky teal tank top. My hair was in it's natural stage, straight. My bangs were probably the best they've ever been. And my hair was somewhat poofed up, like I teased it just a bit, and massively hair sprayed, yet not. Hard to explain.

My reason?

"Hollis will make up with you in a heartbeat." Shelby smiled.

That exactly.

"I just want this day to be over." I pouted, and looked out on the Pemberly girls like Ivy Slade, looking at us while walking by.

I tugged on the skirt.

"Reed, stop fussing." Noelle spat, she turned and started to walk, the rest of us followed her. I quickly jogged to catch up with her.

"Are you sure this'll work."

"Well, I'm sure that it'll make him want you. I don't know if it would get him to come crawling back." She shrugged.

I groaned on the inside.

* * *

I saw Josh three times. And now a fourth time, lunch.

And there are just so many announcements today. Like Senior Prom at Diamond Gardens, Senior's Last Day, and even Graduation in the Chapel. All of which, Josh is apart of.

I sat pondering on the situation. He was sitting in his respectful spot at the Ketlar table. Dan was sitting on the other side of the table. They seemed to not be talking still. I would hate to be sitting there.

I wondered what Dan was saying. I really did. I think I might ask him? It probably wouldn't help my case a whole lot. What if Josh found us talking in private? How pissed would he be?

Oh boy.

I kinda scratched out the idea, setting it aside for a different date.

"I'm leaving, I'm done." Noelle spoke. She sat up and threw away her lunch. I threw away the little that I chose but picked at. Whatever. What would loosing a few pounds do to me?

"Are you seriously not eating?" She asked me right as we walked past the Ketlar table.

"No." I said in a annoyed tone. "I'm just not hungry." I don't think Josh even looked at me.

I honestly don't know what _I_ did. Oh yeah, I danced with another guy. One other guy.

Maybe being with Josh wasn't all that great. If he's going to be this overprotective all the time. It's not like we are married. That would be a different story. He's probably just in shock. Whatever. I'm hoping he'll get over it.

Hoping.

"So what are you doing for Prom?" I asked Noelle.

"Well, Dash is coming back here. And he's going to be my date." She shrugged.

"Sounds great." I forced a smile.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure you'll get in. Words out about your and Hollis's fight. I wouldn't be surprised if plenty of guys started to want to be friends." She raised an eyebrow.

I shrugged, "It hasn't been happening."

"What's up with you and that Dan kid?"

"Nothing."

"Reed."

"Noelle." I whined.

"Fine." She put her hands up.

"Nothing. Is. Going. On. We're just friends. And even if me and Josh did break up, which is _not_ going to happen, I would _never_ go out with Dan." I shrugged.

Noelle's eyes widened. She then let out a small laugh.

"What?" I looked to my side and there was Dan.

He was giving me a confused look.

"Oh my god. I—I didn't mean for you to hear that?"

"Is that a question or a statement?" He teased.

"Noelle, don't wait up." I stopped walking and grabbed Dan's forearm.

"No, it's fine. I know you would _never _date me." Dan smiled.

"No, you're a great guy. It's just that. I shouldn't think of that. Me and Josh aren't breaking up."

"Then..." He scratched his head, clearly confused. "What's between you two right now?" He asked.

"We're fighting."

"He doesn't think that."

"What?" I hissed.

"He says you guys broke up."

I put my hand on my head. What? What? Wait, _What? _I looked for something to sit on. The bench was just a few paces away.

I sat down and breathed.

By myself.

My single self...

"Reed, I am so sorry, I thought... that you knew." He said. He sat next to me. He placed his hand on my thigh, my exposed thigh from this damn skirt. I could feel it rubbing its way. But I chose to ignore it.

I placed my hands on either sides of the end of the bench. Leaned forward. "Why does he think we broke up?" I sounded like a little girl. Fuck that. Fuck him. Fuck.

"I don't know... all I heard was that you guys weren't working out anymore. I heard he hooked up with some Pemberly girl too." He shrugged.

I laughed, "Okay, you got me. You're funny."

He was joking. He was so joking.

"Reed, I'm not—"

"Please, Dan, no more games." I forced a smile and turned to go back to Billings. I thanked God ten times for not letting Dan follow me.

Because I needed to be alone, before I started to cry. I looked over my shoulder and saw Josh, he was probably watching us the whole time. Who knew what he saw, who knew what he heard. I didn't know. He looked majorly pissed off. Maybe it was a cross between him and the guy he was fighting with talking, and the guy he was fighting with, his hand rubbing my thigh. I needed to leave.

I knew Dan wasn't joking. I knew it.

* * *

I started to think more once school was over. Josh plus a Pemberly girl? Unless every flipping thing he said to me was a lie.

I really didn't believe that.

He meant everything. You can't fake that whole thing, just for sex. He would have ran away once he heard I might be pregnant. Josh isn't like that. Dan if just mixing him up with someone else. Maybe Dan's just lying? I pulled milk out of the fridge in Billings. Poured myself a glass, and walked up to my room.

"Reed!"

Oh great.

"Yeah?" I asked turning around.

"Come here." Tiffany whispered, she was in Juicy sweats and a sweatshirt. I secretly envied her. I followed her into her room.

She shut the door. "So, Dan."

"I don't have anything with him!" I moaned.

"What? No. Shit, you're self centered." She teased.

"Oh. Well, what about him?"

"I googled him."

"What?" I hissed.

"I am in love with him already."

"Wait, you googled him?" I squinted.

"Yeah, you've never googled someone?"

Guilty as charged.

"Well, he was recognized at his last school for having all A's. Like above a 4.0. Part of the reason he has a scholarship here. But, I also found out that he has been to like over 24 schools. Not even spending a whole year at one. Unless there are just a lot of people with his name?" She asked.

I shrugged. "What else?" Feeling like a complete creeper.

"His dad is a lawyer, and his mom I don't know. His brother's name is Roger. He submitted a paper about it to this newspaper. And he wrote another one about his little sister that died from leukemia when she was only 10. That was a paper for people who knew someone who lost, fought, or won over cancer. It was really sad. He was interviewed for many local papers, said he was a perfectionist freak. And that he played a variety of sports growing up. But he has a few medical problems enabling him." She finished.

I stood speechless, and a little freaked. "How did you find all of that on google?"

"Well, because of all the contest and newspapers he was in, it helped. And I even got a few medical things too. Like you know how Noelle got all those files about Josh's problems at his old school? It's like that." She said.

I nodded.

"And, I found something else out. He was in the St. Reagan for a really long time. I'm guessing that's a hospital. Poor guy, he seems so nice."

"He really is, I can't wait to hook you guys up." I bit my lip, remembering that I forgot to tell him about Tiffany.

"Awh, thanks, Reed. It means a lot." She smiled.

"Anytime." I smiled, stood up, and grabbed my glass of milk. I started to walk out of her room.

"Bye." I smiled, and returned one and I opened my door, and shut up close. Leaning against it, as if that mentally locked it.

My outfit was getting uncomfortable.

I needed to change.

I dashed over to my dresser, pulling out the drawers, I found soffee shorts to wear, now i needed a shirt. Something extremely comfortable. Sweatshirt? I pawned through my other drawers. Oh dear. I found the perfect one. Josh's baseball sweatshirt he's letting me keep. I ran my fingers over the back that said _Hollis_. This would definently be comfortable. But how bad would that look? Apparently, we broke up. And he's already with other girls? Whatever. Dan has things mixed up. That wouldn't be true.

I shed off my clothes. Left in my push up bra, and underwear, I slid the warm clothes on and looked in the mirror.

I smelt the shirt. Tears almost came to my eyes. It smelt _exactly_ like him still. The last time I wore it, I was with him. Don't worry, I wash it.

I walked over to my bed and just laid down. I needed sleep. My body was screaming for it. My fingers ached, my back was stiff, and my legs needed to be stretched. I let out a small whine and laid down. My mind automatically turned off, it felt_ so_ good.

* * *

**ohhh how tired i am.**

**see, i should be studying but thanks to my all of a sudden adhd, i am physically unable. i'm a littleeeeeeee...**

**hmmmmmm, i would post links on here. **

**fan fictions stupid.**

**LEGITLYxLAUREN**

**gooooggleee itttt**

hmmm, josh and reed, i got a MOUTHfulll abouttt thosee kidss! i'm pretty sure i know what i'm doing with themm, miiiiiiight me a problemo for you guys. justt goo withh thyyy flooooww.

**i think i'm going to bed now.**

**laterrr loverssss*:**

**review. itwouldmakemyfreakingday.**

** laurennn.**


	26. Break

You really don't think about something until you loose it.

You really don't pay attention to anything until you don't have to deal with it anymore.

You really don't learn to love someone, it just kinda happens.

You really shouldn't believe rumors.

Their never true.

Pemberly girls. They seemed to resort everywhere. I wonder which one it was. How far did they go? _Where_ did they go?

I doubt that even happened.

So why was it replaying in my head?

Josh's soft lips slowly moving against some Pemberly girl's.

Disgusting.

Why the hell am I thinking about this?

I grabbed my cell phone. Dan was taking me out for ice cream. I thought I might as well go. Ice cream sounded like it would make up for a lot.

I walked down the the parking lot. I said that I would meet him there. He has a Land Rover. I instantly saw the sleek black car with Dan in the drivers seat. He waved me over. I smiled and trotted.

"Hey." I breathed.

"Hey," He smiled. I got in.

"Lets go."

He sped off onto the exit of the school. I watched in the side mirror as it turned into a small black dot.

"Ice cream sounds so amazing right now." I said. Avoiding looking down at my thighs, knowing it was wrong.

"I know, you deserve it." He smiled.

I let out a sigh. Hoping I could get through the night without a break down.

"How have you been holding up?"

_ Well look at you, Mr. Detective._

"I'm doing fine." I smiled tight.

"Really?"

"...Yeah." I hesitated. I really didn't want to go into the whole 'Oprah' show in the car. I honestly didn't feel like telling anyone anything that's on my mind besides the people who needed to really know.

He nodded, "That's good, you seem like a strong girl."

"I am."

"That's something I'd look for." He winked.

I pressed my lips together. Why was I here? Why? Why? Why?

"So how far away is this ice cream place?" I asked him, changing to subject.

Ice cream, my getting away, ah yes. That's why.

"Like 5 minutes, we'll be there soon."

I nodded.

The trees flew by and turned into blurred green lines, I watched as a car every so often would speed past us, I didn't look at Dan though. I had a weird feeling that the kid liked me.

Speaking of like.

"Hey, Dan,"

"Yeah?"

"We need to get you a girlfriend."

His eyes lit up. "We do, don't we?" He asked.

"Yeah. Do you like anyone right now?"

"I have a few people in mind. But that's my secret."

Yeah right.

"How about, a Billings girl."

"A Billings girl." He smiled, repeating the fact.

"Like... Lets see, not many of them are single. Have you ever talked to... Tiffany Goulbourne?"

He stopped talking. His smile actually went down to.

It's funny, because it seemed like he was expecting _me_ to suggest _myself_.

"Tiffany. Uhm, no I haven't. But she's a nice girl."

"What's wrong with her?"

"Nothing, I just thought you'd say—" He stopped.

"Who?"

"No one. Never mind."

"Who?" I pushed. _Come on, tell me._

"Nobody, just forget it. I wouldn't have a chance anyways." He smirked and kept his eyes on the road.

Having a pretty good clue who it was, I shrugged it off. Hey, I was getting ice cream out of this.

* * *

The car ride home was silent, I had a good reason why.

I did something bad. But it obviously shouldn't matter. It does. It really does.

But wait, Josh probably hooked up with someone didn't he? What the fuck. What's wrong with this? Why can't things be simple again? Why can't I be in Croton, looking out a shitty ass window, in my room that was 1/4 the size of my one at Billings? Why?

"I'm sorry," Dan said as he dropped me off at Billings. He gave me another awkward hug and let me go. Looking at me.

"It's fine. I, I should go." I smiled. "Thanks for the ice cream though, it made me feel better." I shrugged.

He chuckled, "Chocolate mends a broken heart," He smiled. "So does moving on."

_Gulp_.

Awkward.

"So, Tiffany?" I asked out of no where. "Wait, I'm sorry."

"No, give her my number. I can check her out." He winked.

I smiled, nodded, and turned to go in Billings. I close the door behind me and let a huge groan. I stormed up to my room. It didn't seem like many girls were in the dorm. There was only one door open with music blaring out. I began to get a headache as soon as the lyrics flooded through my mind. I opened my door, shut it behind me, mumbled a few curse words, and then turned around. I let out a small scream.

Josh turned from my desk. "Hey." He gave me a smile. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Speechless. What was he doing? Here in my room?

"Wha—What are you doing in here?"

"Not the reaction I was looking for." He said sheepishly.

I gave him a look, turned to my door, and opened it. "I'm okay." I yelled down the hall. I slammed the door shut again.

Like half of them actually cared.

"Listen our fight—"

"I know Josh, we broke up. I knew you were too nice to break up with me for sure over the phone." I grunted.

"What?" He looked shocked. What the hell was going on? I honestly didn't know. The room felt like it was spinning, I sat down on my bed. I rest my elbows on my thighs and my head on my hands.

"We didn't break up." He spoke quietly. "Right?"

I let out a sarcastic laugh, looked up. "Well I don't know, does that mean you cheated on me?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" He hissed.

"The Pemberly girl. Josh I found out. I have friends too, you know." I got up and threw a loose pillow back into its right place on my bed.

"What Pemberly girl?"

"Oh, so there were multiples?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest.

"I didn't do shit with a Pemberly girl." Josh said, he looked frustrated. "Where did you hear that from?"

"It doesn't matter. I just heard it. And I also heard that you're telling people that we 'just didn't work out'. So you _obviously_ are over me." I spat sitting down again.

"What? Reed, where the hell are you hearing all of this from?" He asked again.

"It doesn't matter." I sternly, I was surprised it came out of my mouth. "Why aren't you answering any of _my_ questions? Does that just mean their true?" I asked.

He gave me a look. "You're so damn difficult."

"Then why did you come here?" I whined in a nasty tone.

He got closer to me, returning my sternness. "I came here to apologize. Not for you to bitch at me for doing things that I _never did._"

I looked him in the eye. He was pissed just like me.

We were _made_ for each other.

We both broke contact at the same time, looking at various objects in my room.

"I didn't do anything with a Pemberly girl. They randomly came to Ketlar the other day. I had practice so I left. Me and some other guys. They followed us down there for some reason, I barely talked to them." He explained slowly, as if I was some retarded child who needed a little extra help in the understanding department.

"What about us not working out?"

He got tied up in words. "I never said that!" He blurted loudly.

"Then why the hell would someone lie to me?" I yelled.

"Depends, does the person who told you have something against me?" He scoffed, and sat on my bed.

I crossed my arms over my chest.

"I guess that answers my question." He raised his eyebrows.

I sat down on Noelle's bed. Where was she anyways? I really wanted this conversation to end.

"So where were you?" He asked.

Small talk. Nice move buddy.

"Out."

"Where?"

"Does it matter?" I asked too quick.

He sighed. "Just don't tell me you were with... him."

"Who's him."

"Dan, Reed. Dan."

I looked at my window. Wondering if Josh could see him after he dropped me off.

"God dammit." He stood up and went for the door.

"Josh, we're friends! How does that change _anything_? I'm aloud to go and hang out with Dash and Gage and every other guy that goes to this school, but when it comes to Dan, I can't even stand next to him? What the hell, Josh? You don't trust _me_ enough to let me do things with people I want?"

"That's the thing!" He turned around. "_Do things_. Dan, he will 'do things' he will pull moves on you whether you're my girlfriend or not. He likes you, Reed. I can tell."

I was silent.

He was right.

He was so right. Dan showed me he liked me. And I showed him back?

I was too confused.

Josh didn't have to know what I did. He didn't have to know he was right. It would only make matters worse.

"Josh, I think you should go." I said, looking at his nose. I couldn't look in his eyes. Anymore of them and I'll collapse.

"Reed," He began, pressing his forehead. Hard. "Are we through?"

Those three words were enough to send me over the edge.

"Josh, I can't trust you, if you can't trust me."

He let out a sigh.

"And if you don't trust me, or even let me tell you what I did." I said.

He wasn't talking. Letting me finish.

"And, Josh. I know that I can't live without you. You make me so god damn whole. But..."

He looked at me. Tears budded. _Drip_. And like that one fell and hit the white carpeting.

"But what?" He asked. His hand went up and touched my face, whipping away the tear line.

"But, we need to sort this through. Maybe we're seeing to much of each other." I suggested.

"Reed, do you remember when you came with me to my parents house at Christmas time?"

"Of course I do." I smiled lightly at the memory.

"Remember how I told you, I wanted to marry you?"

I nodded. How could I possibly forget that?

"If you think that we're seeing each other too much, when we barely do anymore and we don't even live together, then maybe my intentions won't work out." He dropped his hands and shoved them in his pockets.

"Josh, please don't." I begged.

"Reed, that's what you're asking me. I'm just putting them into real words. I know you just don't want to deal with someone like me anymore." He shrugged. "I understand."

"How could you say that? Josh, when I say I love you, do you really not understand that?" I spoke offended.

"Reed, when you love someone, like really love someone, you mean it. Maybe I'm the same way. Reed, we're only seventeen and eighteen. We probably don't even know what love really is. I'm pretty sure I know what it is, and this, it's been happening too much. We fight too much." He sighed. "So maybe we should just end saying it, or showing it, until we really, honestly know how it feels."

"Showing it meaning sex? We have had sex like three times Josh, three times. Most couples have sex way more than us." I sighed.

"Well that's not our problem." He spat.

"How could you say that _I_ don't know what love is? I mean, do you think I would do those things with you because I thought it would be fun? Hey! Let's go expose myself to Josh, he seems like a nice kid."

"Well, that's what you did with Thomas." He blurted.

I gave him a look. "Is that supposed to be funny? Just because it wasn't my first time too? Because I didn't _'save_ myself' for you? Well no offense Josh, but I didn't know I'd fall so in love with you back in the beginning of sophomore year. I was only fifteen."

"It wasn't my first time too, you know."

Wait.

"What?" I blurted.

"You heard me. It wasn't my first time."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I snapped.

He laughed, "What am I supposed to tell you every girl I've had sex with?" He yelled.

I glanced over at my door to make sure it was closed.

"No, at least could have told me. You already knew about me."

"It just didn't come to mind while until after we did it." He snapped. "Oh hey, Reed, wake up, I have to tell you that I was thinking about another girl while I was lying here with you. I wasn't thinking thinking about her, just thinking about how much better you are than her."

"Who the hell is this girl anyways?"

Josh stopped yelling, stopped looking frustrated.

"Her name was Jen. Jen Hathaway." He said calmly.

I've never heard her name before. I wonder if Noelle knew her. I asked the dreaded question. "Did you love her?" My voice cracked. Dammit, Reed.

"No. Not the way I love you. Not even close." He sighed, looking at me.

"Then why did you do it?"

"Why did you sleep with Thomas? I was young and ambitious. Reed, I wasn't the same Josh you know now."

"The same Josh? What is that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Just," He shook his head and stood up. "Don't worry about it."

"_See,_ you don't tell me anything either." I sighed.

"Because I rather not talk about her right now." He snapped.

I raised my eyebrows. This girl obviously meant something.

"Why am I even here?" He asked, getting all torn apart.

"Josh... are you... crying?" I asked. Trying to see his face.

"No." He said bluntly.

Another raise of the brow.

"Josh." I said. "Are you okay?" I sat next to him, grabbing his hand.

He got up, avoiding my touch.

I pushed on my thighs. "Okay. That's it. You don't need me. Just tell me."

He shook his head.

"Tell me Josh. Five words. I don't need you, Reed." I felt a soccer ball in my throat.

"I wouldn't say them because they aren't true. All I need, is a break. And apparently, so do you."

He was right. I honestly didn't want a break. But I needed one. I needed to clear my mind. And so did he. How come? I have no fucking idea. Of course I don't, I don't even understand why I force myself out of bed in the morning sometimes. It'll make you feel better I guess.

I walked over to my dresser, pulled out Josh's sweatshirt. The one I slept in last night. Why was it in my dresser again? I was probably too lazy to do anything else with it.

"Here." I said short.

He down at the shirt, then to me. "Keep it."

"Josh, you need it."

"No I don't."

"You just got it, take it."

He gently took it out of my hands. His hands brushing over mine. How I wanted to hold them.

Once that sweatshirt was out of my hands, it felt like everything else was too. One more tear leaked.

"Why are you crying?" Josh asked.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I sniffed.

He looked out the window. Then to my bed. Then to me. "It'll only be for a little while." He pulled his chest up higher.

"...Are... Are you going to see other girls?"

"Girls will be the last thing on my mind."

"So is this just time to think about baseball and your dad and school and shit?"

"Basically. And you." He added.

I nodded. "Your graduation, prom, last day. How are you dealing with those?"

He shrugged. "I want you to come still, probably as my girlfriend." He smiled. "The whole point of this, is to trust. And think."

I nodded once again. "You should get going." I nodded to the window. "It's about to rain."

He turned his head to look out the window. "I should."

He walked past me and to my door, I was going to walk him out. So I walked up to him, he grabbed my face gently with one hand. Thinking he was going to plant one last one on me, he thought better of it, and kissed my cheek.

You kiss your grandma on cheek.

Whatever. I'll let him walk himself out.

When I was sure he was gone, I laid down on my bed. Thunder began to crack. And the door to Billings lightly closed. I listened and waited for rain to pour down on Josh as he jogged back to Ketlar. I forced myself not to look at him going back to his dorm. So I glued my eyes to the ceiling. And did exactly what I should.

I thought.

What do I think about? What does he have to think about? Oh how I wanted to call him and ask. I wanted to be with the happy Josh, not this washed over because of Jen Josh.

Who was Jen?

Was she pretty, he said he didn't love her like he loves me. So there was something between them. How long did they date? Did they even date? Did he almost get her pregnant too?

Who knows, and who's this old Josh? I kinda want to get to know him.

A break would put a stop to that though.

How was I going to tell him about Dan? Why did I even want to? I didn't even thought to think about him.

Wait.

I sat up in my bed, looked around the room and quickly went over what just happened. My hair blown out of my face.

What the hell were we doing?

I got up, and jolted for the door.

I skipped down the stairs. Out the door, where I slowly jogged. The rain was pouring down. I squinted. Josh was probably long gone.

Sigh.

I can't take it back now. I can't—

Wait, what is that? Was that someone walking over here? I noticed the figure, and soon started to walk over to them quickly.

"Josh!" I shouted.

He started to jog a bit, as did I. My hair was getting wet. And my clothes were damp.

It was Josh, his curls were matted from the rain, the now wet T shirt making it easy to see under. Mine was probably the same. Just call me Reed the slut.

I stopped when I reached him.

I shook my head no. He grabbed either side of my face.

"I can't do this. I can't." I said over the rain.

"I know, Reed." He whispered. "Why do you think I turned around?"

"Josh, we aren't the kind of couple that breaks up every few weeks and gets back together. We're different."

He nodded. "I know, I know."

"So let's just..."

Then, not even looking at him, we crushed lips at the same time. They moved in sync with each other. My body slowly sunk into his, I arched my back. My arms were around his neck.

This is how it was supposed to be.

Not Reed. Not Josh.

But Reed _and_ Josh.

Together.

We continued kissing. Glad no one was looking out on us, while they all ran back to their dorms, or were getting changed in them. Glad no teachers were there to stop us. Glad we couldn't get away from each other.

I pulled away.

"So we're together again?" I whispered, trying to catch my breath.

He let out a laugh, and touched his forehead to mine. "Yes. We should never take a break again."

We were silent. I sat there, feeling warm inside even though the rain was making everything cold. Josh wrapped his arms around me.

"I love you."

I smiled.

He gets me every time.

"I love you too."

* * *

**hahaha sorry, i am SO pathetic. **

**I couldn't hold it off any longer. **

**I was going to wait like three more chapters, but I had to. **

**review because i got them back togetherr(: **

**this was a strangely quick update, I don't think I even got that many reviews on the last chapterrr. **

**twooo more days of schooooll!**

**byeeelooverrrsss*;**

**Laurrrrren.**


	27. Jen

well hello, writers block. so we meet again.

gahhh raahh, i'm going to die.

well, lets try this out.

* * *

"Jen Hathaway?" Noelle started cracking up, like on her back, laughing on her bed, red face and all.

I rolled my eyes, was this girl a complete nerd? Was she even pretty?

"Noelle." I said in a serious tone. "I shouldn't have told you." I got up and got ready to walk out of the room.

"Wait!" She stopped laughing.

"What?" I snapped.

"Jen Hathaway. I just can't believe Hollis's V-card is with a dead girl." She started laughing again.

I sat there some what patiently. Why was she laughing? Josh loosing his virginity was not funny.

"What do you mean dead girl?" I said over her laughter.

She stopped, composed herself and sat up. "Jen Hathaway..."

"Can you stop saying her name?" I whined and sat down.

She rolled her eyes. "Why are you so mad it wasn't you who he lost his virginity to? You lost yours to Thomas."

I looked up to the ceiling, "I know, it's just he knew who Thomas was, I don't know _anything_ about this Jen girl."

"Fine, Reed, do you want to know about Jen?"

"Yes." I sighed.

"Well, I only used to see her when I went to St. Barts. She had an average family, they were really nice. Another reason why them and the Hollis's where good friends. I mean super nice, like think Hollis, then nicer than that." She blew a sigh.

There were things nicer than the Hollis'?

"Well anyways, her brother was always a bookworm, she was his twin. And it hit him the most when she died."

I gulped, "She died?"

"Yeah. She died, she actually killed herself. I never thought she would. A lot of people say it was because Hollis broke up with her. But I don't even know what happened between the two of them, so I don't have anything to say. But yeah, she committed suicide, and no one really knows why. I mean, I bet her family has an idea. But her two brothers, Graham and Sawyer, blame it all on Josh. Which is who I kinda pointed it all at, but whatever. He's not that bad." She sighed.

I was quiet, all I could think about was the one fact that she was dead. That she was not longer existent.

Wow, talk about freaky.

Both of our previous lovers are dead.

I told you we were made for each other.

"Did he love her?"

"I doubt he felt the way he feels about you."

I shook my head, this was a lot. "Why didn't we meet any of your St. Barts friends while I was there with you?"

"I didn't want to talk to any of them. I was kinda done with it all. Something happened last year, and I didn't want to go back and talk to all those people. And we didn't go this year either for spring break. Maybe we can go next year, or the year after, or the year after."

"I don't get it, why do you not want to go? What happened back there Noelle?"

"Ask Josh, he'll tell you." She said.

"Why can't you?"

"I rather not talk about it."

I rolled my eyes.

This must be very important then. So I was in for a treat.

"Please tell me, you can't just play the whole ask Josh card. That's a bitch move."

She sighed. "Josh, he got into this huge fight with one of the brothers, Graham, and we were all basically forced to pick sides. At the time, I was Thomas's friend, but I also was Grahams friend since we were in diapers. I chose Graham's side. But it was a mistake. They wanted to do all this shit to the Hollis family. I mean, its one thing to do it to Josh, but his family? But one night, while Tess and Tori were on their jet skis, Graham set them off. Like they went all bizarre on them. Tess got thrown off and she some how hit her head and passed out, and Tori couldn't find her anywhere in the water. She had to come back, and she... Reed, I've never seen anyone more devastated. She was crying, like bawling her eyes out. Josh was so shocked. He started blaming Graham for all of this. Have you ever noticed how protective Josh is over his sisters now? I mean, you've had to guess why."

"I thought he was just being a big brother."

Scott's somewhat protective over me.

Yeah, right.

"Anyways, they had to get a whole search rescue team and they finally found Tess washed up on shore. I watched the whole thing. His mom, and his dad... Reed. It was scaring. But, Graham was never legally proven to have done it. We all pretty much knew he did he just didn't want to admit it. And we didn't want to either. Whatever." She shook her head.

"So what happened?"

"Well, like I said, he got away. And Josh was so pissed at the whole thing. He went to the Hathaway's house in the middle of the night, right after they found Tess. I guess they got into this huge fight. Verbal. Josh doesn't punch people, I guess. From what I heard, he was called him all these names, spazing out on him, and just being a dick. But he had a right, Graham almost killed his sisters. And it interfered with the whole Jen thing. That's why Graham says that she killed herself because of Josh. She found out what happened, and while they were fighting, she made Josh step away with her. They were talking, and he broke up with her because of her lame ass brother. And anyways, she was so upset. She liked Josh more than he liked her. And that's another reason why he is to blame."

"But, I don't get it, isn't it Graham's fault they even broke up?"

"Josh did something to Graham though."

"What, what did he do?"

"Josh had sex with Jen. And Jen, she's your age, well at the time. And Josh was a sophomore, Jen was a freshman. Graham got all pissed off, Sawyer wouldn't do anything because he doesn't really have great relationships with people. He's very introverted. Now, since Jen died, he doesn't talk to _anyone._ Well anyways, they fucked right? And Graham started yelling at her, saying she was only a freshman, and an older guy was taking advantage of her. And we all thought the same. Hollis and Jen's relationship was _very _out in the open. Like, major. They would always kiss in public, and say sweet things to each other. It was just kinda like, 'hey guys look what we've done!' kinda thing. I don't know. But, I don't know if he loved her. I mean, when you have sex with someone, I'm guessing you obviously have said I love you to them, but who knows."

I wasn't going to cry, I wasn't going to get weak. Josh has a past and as do I. I guess he just doesn't feel the need to talk to me about it.

So much for not having secrets.

"Anything else?"

"So, that's how they got into the fight, and this whole jet ski incident happened. If I could go back, I'd just tell Jen to break up with Hollis. Because he was probably using her."

"I don't think Josh would use a girl for sex." I stood up for him.

"Reed, think about it, how long did it take you two to do it?"

"Well, I didn't sleep with him until this most recent new years."

"Yeah, but when did you two start going out?"

"I'm not having this argument."

"Because I'm right?" She snapped.

I don't know.

I took a breath. "I started to go out with him thanksgiving, my first year here. So that means we waited a little over a year."

She raised her eyebrows. "Because he already got it from someone else huh?"

"Noelle, would you please stop?"

She shook her head, "I didn't know you were so sensitive in the Hollis department."

"He's my boyfriend."

"I know, Reed, but I've known the kid longer than you. And you obviously don't have the best relationship if he doesn't tell you huge events, like him killing a girl."

"He didn't kill her! She committed suicide, Noelle, you told me."

"Same fucking thing." She got up and started to make her bed. "Whatever."

"Thanks for the scoop." I said sarcastically, I grabbed my key and walked out of the room, and out of Billings.

I needed to talk to Josh.

* * *

I walked up the stairs to the Ketlar dorm, the fifth floor, Josh's floor. I knocked on the wood door. Trey opened the door, by the looks of it, he knew the drill.

"Hey." He whispered.

I heard talking in the room.

"Hey." I gave a small smile, "Is he here?"

"Yeah," Trey said, "I'll leave you two alone."

"Go see Astrid." I suggested.

He smiled, "I was just about to."

I gave him a real smile as he walked out of the room, and to the elevator. I walked in, and shut the door.

"No, he doesn't... Yeah... Okay." Josh was laughing.

I dropped my keys on his desk, getting his attention even more. He glanced up at me, and back down. He was sitting on his bed, leaned against the headboard. I walked over to his window, and looked out, my hands on the back of my hips.

"Hey, someone's here. I gotta go. Yeah." He smiled and looked up at his wall. "Kay, bye."

"Who was that?" I asked, looking out his window.

"Lynne, he wanted to know how dad was doing."

"Oh."

"Why are you here?" He asked.

I slowly turned to him, shocked. "Do you not want me here?" I asked slowly.

"No, no." He shook his head, sat up and story style. "I worded that wrong. Just randomly visiting?"

"I was talking to Noelle." I could tell his tension.

He was quiet.

"She told me about Jen."

He stopped moving. He let out a huge groan. When I turned around, I saw him pressing his heels of his hands into his face. "What did she say?"

"A lot."

"Reed." He whined. "So I give you a name and you _need_ to be the little investigator you are and find out about her?"

"Josh, why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what? That she died? That she killed herself? Because of me?" He asked getting up out of his bed.

"No, just... I thought we weren't keeping secrets anymore." I shrugged one shoulder.

"Reed, just because we don't keep secrets, doesn't mean that I'm trying to keep that from you. I just... it just...didn't cross my mind to tell you about her."

"Josh, just tell me. Did you take advantage of her?"

"No!" He almost shouted. "How would I take advantage of her?"

"You had sex with a freshman!"

"Well, shame on me for thinking that I really liked her."

"I just, I'm second guessing."

"Second guessing what?"

"Did you ever tell her that you wanted to marry her? Did you ever let her sleep over? I mean, how many times did you guys have sex? Did you hold her really tight, and just... just..." I couldn't go on.

"We had sex once. And no, I never did any of those things with her." He shook his head. "Do you think I, Josh Hollis, go girl to girl, saying that I need them in my life. Reed, I need you. You and only you. The world could be destroyed and if you were the only girl left, I would be even happier than I am now. Jen is the past. You are the present. And you are my future. And I really don't feel like looking back."

I was quiet.

I cracked a smile. "Wuss."

"Brat." He chuckled, wrapping his arms around me. I pushed him away.

"No."

He pleaded me with his gorgeous eyes.

"So I'm sure you know about the whole twin jet ski thing?"

"Yup. And the fight after. And the break up? And I guess that's it." I shrugged again.

Josh blew out a sigh and went back to his bed, and laid on his back, his hands behind his head.

"I am a little investigator aren't I?"

"Yes, and it's going to kill me."

"How so?"

He shrugged, "You're a very ambitious girl, Brennan. And you're going to run yourself into trouble."

I crawled into his bed with him, putting my head on his chest, and wrapping my arms around his torso. I started to kiss his neck. "As long, as you, are in trouble, with me." I said between kisses. He looked at me, I looked at him.

Oh how I wanted him.

"I love you, Josh."

"I love you, Reed."

"I just love you."

"I more than love you."

"You feel very deeply for me." I said in a teasing voice.

He pulled me on top of him. Nodding. "I want to do dirty things with you." He whispered in my ear.

This is what I needed. Instead of being pissed off. I was done being pissed off.

Done.

"I want to return those dirty things to you." I whispered.

He took off his shirt. I ran my fingers along his tone chest.

"I don't care how horrible your past was."

"You don't?"

"A wise man once told me, I was his future. And the future is all we should worry about."

He smiled and kissed me.

"Who was this wise man?"

"My boyfriend."

"We better hurry up before he comes back." He teased, his fingers traveling under my shirt.

"He never left." I smiled, kissing him. I realized my position and stopped. "I feel like a slut."

"You're not a slut if I'm your boyfriend."

I shrugged. He was right. I just, felt wrong.

My shirt was discarded.

And I was left with a bra, panties, and jean shorts. Good thing I straightened my hair.

"This is bad."

"A good bad?" He asked, his hands now on my legs.

"No." I put my arms around his neck, and looked up at him. "A naughty bad."

"You are pretty naughty, Miss Brennan." I pulled his chin up, to make sure he was staring at me, not my boobs.

"Naughty enough for you?" I asked.

Josh laughed, "Too naughty for me."

"Then maybe, I should stop." I said, sitting up.

"There isn't much turning back." He pulled me under him. Pressing his body against mine. All of his weight against me felt so good, like better than a massage. Because, he was Josh.

I buried my face into his shoulder, breathing in his scent.

"Have you ever noticed what you smell like?" I asked.

"What?" He laughed at me.

"Your smell."

"What's my smell?" He asked slowly, kissing what was exposed of my chest, I still had a bra on, what a loser.

"Evergreens. Like the trees. And paint. Well, obviously paint because you paint all day." I pointed out the obvious.

He chuckled lightly in my chest. "And that's why I love you so much."

"That's all? Because I point out what you smell like?"

"No." He laughed. "There's many more."

I closed my eyes, "Tell me."

He took in a steady breath. "Where do I start?"

I shrugged, laying my head on his chest, loving the feel of his skin against mine.

"I love the way you whine my name in the adorable voice when you don't get your way. And how you are so graceful. And how perfectly we fit together. I sound like a chick. But it's true. And I absolutely love your smile. It drives me crazy."

I smiled. "That's good."

"And you know what tops all of it?"

"Hmm?"

"After sex, you always stretch. Like always."

"Shut up." I mumbled, laughing.

"It's really adorable." He said, rubbing my back.

"You're not like the other guys, Josh."

"How so?"

"You treat me well."

"Well, who doesn't?"

"I don't know, you're just... kinda... you seem perfect."

"Reed, you know I'm no where near perfect."

"To me, you kinda are."

He scrunched his nose, shaking his head. "You liar."

I shook my head, "You just refuse to believe the truth."

"So even though Noelle probably gave you a whole partially right story about what happened in St. Barts like three years ago, you still think I'm perfect?"

"Yes." I nodded.

"I don't understand you."

I smiled.

"But you still drive me crazy."

I smiled bigger. I bit the skin on his collar bone.

"Ow." He groaned.

"Remember me."

"How could I ever forget?" He laughed.

I shrugged.

"Are you seriously giving me a hickey?"

"Yes."

"What are we? Freshman?"

"Well, you lost your virginity when you were a sophomore."

"Reed, you're stupid."

"What?"

"You lost your virginity as a sophomore."

"So? My partner was a senior."

"So? He was taking advantage of you."

"No, I'm pretty sure Thomas was feeling something more than he felt with the blonde bitch."

He smiled. "What about you? Did you feel something more than what you feel with the blonde boy?"

"Who, you?"

He nodded.

I laughed.

His face dropped.

"Nothing can top what I feel with the blonde boy."

He smiled again. His teeth so perfect, each one in the right line, touching each other, and they were very white.

I was the wuss here.

I kissed him all the way down to his belly button.

"You're such a loser, you know that, right?" He asked.

I looked up at him. Sat on my knees. "Then I guess I'll go."

"Don't go." He mumbled.

"Why not?"

"I want to see you stretch." He winked.

"We're not having sex tonight." I pulled on my shirt.

"Reed." He whined.

"Josh." I hissed. I went to go grab my keys.

"Oh, no you don't." He grabbed my arm and yanked me to him. My hands on his chest. He pressed me up against him again. I couldn't resist to fall into his arms. I was so tired. All this news really wiped my out. He pulled me back to the top of his bed, and sat up while I laid on his stomach, my hand under my head and on his knee.

I started to get that aching feeling. I cheated on him just the other day. But, I thought we were 'taking a break' or whatever. Should I tell him?

No. Don't tell him. I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I looked up at him, I saw his blue eyes searching the room. As if he was examining the posters on the walls.

"Josh?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you tell me about Jen?"

"Why do you want to know about her?"

"I just do. You knew who Thomas was. He was my first love. Or so I thought. She was probably yours. And I don't know anything about her."

He blew out a sigh. I let him take his time. It took him at least twenty minutes to come up with a response.

"She was, extremely nice. And pretty. I always thought she was beautiful. I always thought she was the best thing that could ever happen to me. I never really thought about the whole picture before we had sex. And I never really thought about how young I was. I was a sophomore, Reed. That's like what? Sixteen? I didn't think at all about anything at the time. I did love her. I honestly thought I did. But I realized I couldn't be anywhere around the Hathaway family. We thought we had something, but we really didn't. It was more of a summer fling that turned into something else. But, half of it was nothing." He shook his head.

I nodded against his stomach, begging him to go on.

"Is this too hard for you?" I asked.

"Is this too hard for you to hear?" He asked.

"I'm a strong girl. I know you had a past."

He put his arm around me and I scooted up, placing my head now on his shoulder.

"You remind me a lot of her."

"How so?"

"Well, I mean. You both have the same looking figure, the hair, but your smile is better. And you both have similar taste in guys." He chuckled.

I lightly smiled.

"But when she died, I couldn't even bring myself to go all the way through the funeral. I just wish I was there, to stop her." He itched his cheek. "And when her parents, I went up to them and said I was sorry for your loose, I knew it, Reed, I knew that they thought it was all because of me."

"Why didn't you say anything when Thomas died?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I was going through the same thing. When we found out it was Ariana, it's the same exact situation. And when Cheyenne died, the same exact situation. They died all because of me." My voice cracked.

"It never really came to mind to tell you about her, you know? When we found out it was Ariana that did it, we just started going out. And when Cheyenne died, we were in a fight."

"What about after?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I don't know."

"Well, I'm sorry about her dying."

"Me too."

"I don't think it was your fault."

He smiled, "Of course you don't think that."

"Well, I don't. It was her choice to kill herself, and over you? A boyfriend that she only lost her virginity to? I don't know. It seems odd."

"Well, there's no point trying to find out, she's been gone for quiet a while now."

"Do you think if she was alive, you two would still be dating?"

I felt a pain of jealously, if she was alive, Josh would probably be dating her still. That means no us. No Reed and Josh.

He shrugged, "If we were, I would have missed out on all of you. Which would be..." He blew out a sigh. "Horrible."

"I'm glad I met you."

"Same."

The silence which I wasn't sure was comfortable or uncomfortable swept over, and I faced his shoulder, burying my face in it. Trying to get everything in my mind out.

"Can we just make out now?" I asked, looking into his blue eyes.

He sat up, and got on top of me, laughing. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my legs tangled in his.

He smiled, I melted.

He placed his soft lips on mine.

"Yeah, we can just make out now."

* * *

**ITS SUMMER(: **

**much more updates to come.**

**this was was SO FREAKING LONG, 11 pages thanks very much. it might be the longest chapter I've ever written.**

**well review because this was a HUGE chapter, and yeah. **

**I'm proud. **

**thankss**

**lovelovelovelovelooooveee,lauren.**


	28. Eighteen Year Old Man

I hugged a laundry bin the my hip a bit tighter, as I walked across the quad. It had been raining all week. It wasn't at the moment. Just that sticky after math. I had been trapped inside my room. And I realized something...

I needed to do my laundry.

So I tied my hair in a bun on the top of my head and put on a quarter length shirt, and a pair of jean shorts. My bangs out of it and a few hairs in the front. I didn't look like a complete tired mess.

Anyways, the weather was still shit. Which wasn't helping me get into a good mood. The whole Jen thing was still sinking its teeth into my brain. And I was still not so sure about it. I mean, I know Josh's feelings for her were long gone. But it just makes me think... what else is there that I _don't _ know about? Everyone at this school has known each other for the longest time. Where as I, only two years. Roughly.

Seniors had only one week left I believe. It was going by too fast. I wish I could just stop time. I wish I could go back to the beginning of this year.

What was I going to do without all of them here to support me next year?

I yanked open the door to the laundry mat. Yeah, Easton did have one. All the rumbling of washers buzzed an excitement in me. Combined with the humble noises of teenagers forced to wash clothes, made me sane. Not all of them forced their maids to do it. I looked over the spread of washers and dryers around the room, all lined up next to each other in perfect aisles. They seemed to go on for miles, I could only see blurs of faces of the students in the back. I picked one off to the side, not wanting to really talk to anyone.

I placed the bin on top of the washer, and began. I started to throw in my whites, picking through the heap of dirty clothing articles. I threw in the white skirt that helped me not at all to win Josh back. Someone came up behind me and placed their fingers on my hips, squeezing them. I jumped. They wouldn't let me turn around.

"You know, since we're back together, I'd really like to see you in that skirt one more time." Hot breath breathed on my ear.

"Josh." I whined.

He smiled and came up next to me.

"You're stupid." I smirked, continuing to throw in items.

He shrugged. "I can't resist."

"How did you even get in here without me seeing you?"

"I've been here for a while. I had some laundry to do to, you know. I didn't follow you or anything."

I nodded. "I know you wouldn't follow me."

He shrugged again. "Need help?"

I shook my head no. "The last thing I need is for my boyfriend to explore my bras and underwear."

He smirked. "I've done it before."

I looked up at him and pushed him. "Yeah, with another girl too."

"Reed." He sat up, sternly.

"Kidding." I hissed out and smiled.

"I didn't know you'd still be worried about it."

"Ohmygod, I'm not. I'm just making fun of you."

"Mhmm, right."

"Josh."

He smiled. "You're doing it again."

I smirked. "Josh." I whined again.

"Stop." He chuckled.

I turned back to my laundry. "Was this your plan?"

"Hmm?"

"To distract me?"

"No."

I looked up at him, smiled.

"You're silly." He smirked.

"Silly enough for you." I started up the washer, and leaned against it.

He looked down at me and smiled like a little kid.

"What?"

"Well, if you're going to be in that mood..." He turned to walk away. I grabbed his arm.

"Josh." I smiled, "Tell me."

He spun around on his foot and faced me.

"Well."

"Well," I repeated him, putting my weight on one hip. Looking up at him, into his eyes. He has grown.

"Reed Brennan,"

"Yes?"

"How would you like, accompany me, Josh Hollis, to the Senior Prom at _the _Diamond Gardens Hotel?" He swiped out a ticket from his pocket, and sliding out another one underneath it.

I looked down at the two tickets smiling, then up to Josh. He was giving me a fake serious look, standing tall.

"You clean up good." I smirked.

"So is that a yes?" He raised his eyebrows.

I let out a small laugh, "You got me at the accompany Josh Hollis part."

He finally decomposed of his straight face and gave me a toothy grin. He picked me up in a hug, and I kissed his cheek.

Prom. I knew it was going to happen, it was just the last thing on my mind.

"This is why I keep you around, lover boy." I smiled.

He scoffed, "Just so you can go to prom with your little bobble head friends?"

I scoffed, "Of course, why else..." I got closer and whispered, "Sex?"

He smiled, "Well, of course. That's why I keep you around."

He winked, and I couldn't help but to laugh at him.

"So that skirt—"

"We can save for another day." I whispered.

He started to traced my hips with his fingertips. I let out a sigh. I wanted to kiss him, but I didn't want to look like the PDA couple. Which we probably... already were.

I grabbed his hand. And turned around. "I think you're shits ready." I smiled.

He raised an eyebrow. "I see how it's going to be."

I rolled my eyes. It seems like Josh is becoming more and more touchy ever since the last time we had sex. I honestly was not in the mood for doing it again until we were out of school. I mean, I kinda liked it. I love the feel of Josh. I was just observing.

I turned to my laundry. Then looked down at Josh folding his. He glanced down at me. Like he was checking to see if I was still okay.

I smiled.

He was almost too perfect for me.

What was I going to do for like another two hours? It was already 7.

I honestly didn't know. Josh was done with everything so he came over and set it down on the washer and dryer next to me.

"Hey, you wanna get out of here after this?" He whispered.

"And do what?" I asked, starting to sort the other clothes in the bin.

He started to play with the strap on one of my tank tops. "Like, I don't know. Hang out?" His eyes lit up. "How about off campus?"

I sighed, "I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

About two hours later, we were on the road. Josh was driving me somewhere.

I sat back in the passenger seat of his Jeep. New car? I think so. I like it. It was him. The window was rolled down, my hair still on top of my head, and my laundry sitting in my room at Billings. My hand was hanging outside the window.

"Thanks for taking me out."

"Anytime." He spoke, his hand lazily lying on the wheel.

"How's your dad?"

He shrugged.

I frowned.

"We're here." He said. He pulled into a random park. There were like two people walking around, holding hands. There was a small river running by. There was a whole area of just deep green grass. The river was filled with rocks. There were woods to the left of us. They looked like they never ended.

"You're kidding me." I groaned at the cheesiness of this all.

A park? What the hell.

"Just when I thought you _weren't_ a spoiled brat." He teased.

"I'm not."

He was right. I should be happy he even took me out. I got out of his car, and put my hand on my forehead, swiping away loose hairs.

He grabbed my hand, dragged me along. He headed towards the woods.

"Are we even aloud back here?" I asked, swooping my head to avoid branches and random things in the air.

No response. Typical Josh.

I rolled my eyes.

We were pretty deep in the woods.

"Josh, where the hell are—" He turned around and slammed his lips against mine.

"Just. Shut up." He smirked. He ran his fingers all the way down to my jean shorts. Hooking his thumbs around the belt loops and pulling me to him. Then suddenly, I was against a tree.

A very small gasp/sigh escaped my mouth as he worked his way around my neck. I ran my fingers along his chest, down to his abs. He was going to feel me up. His fingers carefully slid under my tank top, and under my bra.

I told you.

"Josh." I whispered.

He smiled, and we kissed some more. My fingers playing with the hairs resting on the back of his neck. I kissed him more and more and more. We completely made out. His hands were sliding down my stomach. This was almost too much to do in the middle of nowhere. And there were other people here.

But that didn't stop Josh from unzipping my jeans.

I have to admit, I was turned on. Everything was going at light speed. But at the same time, time seemed to just stop. And isn't that what I wanted? Yes. I loved this. But just not where it was going on.

"Josh." I moaned. He kissed me faster.

"No." He sighed.

"There are other people here." I mumbled against his lips.

He pulled back to elastic on my PINK hipster underwear.

"Josh." I hissed.

He look up at me. "Trust me." He smiled.

I sighed, I let him work his magic. "But, we're not having sex in the woods."

"I know, I know. Just. Shut up, Reed." He kissed me, his hand cupping my face, guiding me along. His other hand however...

"Ohmigod." I moaned out sharply.

"Are you hungry?"

"No."

"Do you want to head back?"

"No." I said.

We were holding hands, walking along the river in the park. I let out a sigh.

Josh was watching the river go by. I looked up and saw birds.

"So what made you want to bring me here?" I asked.

He shrugged, "I don't know. I wanted to be with you. I've always seen this park when ever I leave or go to Easton."

"Well, thank you. I really needed to think." I took a step closer to him.

"Think? About..."

"It's impossible to just be alone at school. And you can't ever think when you're around a group of people twenty-four-seven."

"I understand."

"But, I'm just thinking... about summer. And graduations. And next year."

"I wouldn't worry about that if I were you."

"Right." I nodded.

"How many times have we had this conversation?" He asked.

I sighed, "I'm sorry. I'm a broken record."

He kissed my temple.

"I love you, Reed."

I smiled.

"I really do."

"I know you do, I feel the same way."

He squeezed my hand.

I reached up and kissed the side of his lips.

"I wish we could just not go back to Easton."

"And do what?" He asked throwing a rock.

I rolled my eyes, "Stay here."

"I know, it's peaceful."

"I just want to be around you." I said digging my head into his shoulder.

It was dark outside. Dark enough for me to actually kinda _want_ to head back.

"It's getting late." I said.

"I know, want to leave?"

I shrugged. "Let's not go back to school."

"Where are we gonna go then?" He chuckled.

"You had this whole thing planned out, where you going to take me anywhere else?" I asked.

He sighed, "Come on."

He led me over to his car, "We have to get back at nine. So there isn't really much to do."

I nodded. "It's getting dark. Let's just head back, I guess."

"No, lets sleep."

"Sleep?"

"Or just lie down."

"Lie down?"

"Must you question everything I say, woman?" He looked down at me.

I pushed him.

He hopped onto the hood, and leaned against the windshield.

I stood, watched him. Confused.

"Come on." He said for like the twelfth time tonight.

I climbed on too. I laid my head on his chest, I let one of my legs wrap around his. And his right arm automatically went around me.

"Now, this is nice." I smiled, drawing circles on his stomach.

"That tickles."

I sighed and stopped, and just laid there.

"Well, look at that, there's stars." He said sarcastically.

"All we need is a picnic and we have the cheesiest date _ever_." I teased.

He bit his cheek. "So, prom."

I smiled, "I don't know about you, but I'm excited."

"I am too. What are we doing after?"

"Well who's having a party?"

He shrugged, "I'll find out."

I nodded, "Oh yeah, I'm not sleeping with you after."

He laughed, "Do you really think all I want is sex?"

"What eighteen year old boy doesn't?"

"I'm not a little boy."

"Sorry. Eighteen year old_ man_." The sarcasm side coming out of me.

"You are so mean."

I kissed his jaw. "I try."

He smiled. I sighed.

We sat there in silence as he stroked my shoulder. I closed my eyes. Being with Josh made me sane. Just like the normal kids at the laundry mat. That reminded me...

"How come you do your own laundry?" I asked him.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Well, everyone else has someone do it for them."

"Yeah, but have you noticed the difference between me and everyone else?"

I nodded, understanding. "That's why _I_ love you."

"Because I do my own laundry?"

"You don't depend on other people so much, like everyone else. You aren't stuck up."

"There's some things I can't live without. I depend on those."

"I know. But, you're just... I can't describe you."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, no." I said sitting up, so I could look at him. "It's a good thing. It's a good kinda speechless."

He smiled at me from his spot. I smiled at him.

"I make you speechless." He teased. "You love sick puppy."

I rolled my eyes. "Well let me guess what some of those things you can't live without are, uhm, food, air, your mom, and me."

I laid back down on him, he was silent for a while.

"And sex."

"Ohmigod." I sighed. "You're difficult."

He kissed my head, "And my mom?"

"You love your mom, you know it."

"I know, and the rest of my family... besides Hunter."

Hunter. Oh my good friend Hunter.

I took his free hand and laced my fingers through his. "The past is the past."

"You're right."

Silence. I started to close my eyes again.

"Reed, are you getting tired?"

I shook my head. "Don't make me go back," I mumbled.

He laughed at me.

"Five more minutes." I squeezed him to me.

His arm wrapped around me squeezed me to him, "Five more minutes."

* * *

as you can see, i was in the mood for some fluff. Ugh. I don't know why. It's my specialty( :

so, not much got done here. Prom was introduced, and I'm debating if I should have that in this story or the next.

and yeah, I think i'm doing a sequel( :

I THINK, though. Idk. it might look kinda stupid when there's like 39847234 sequels to one crappy story, paradise lost.

Well, you tell me

how many should I make?

what would you like to see in the next chapter?

just let me know if you want.

ohh! 400+ REVIEWS? I THINK **YES**

that seriously, made my life. hhow did I get to four hundred!

thanks SO MUCH, the 400th reviewer wasss- sydnie.

she either didn't have account, or wasn't signed in. that's the thing the big mile stone reviews are always hit by anonymous reviewers. ) :

well i'll shut up.

-laurennnn.


	29. Nine

I walked into the Billings parlor. A lot of the girls were there snacking on light popcorn, other chewing on their own tongues to keep themselves from eating it. They were watching a movie that I didn't even bother to check what it was.

"So, Billings movie night?" I asked plopping down next to London.

Portia turned her petite frame towards me as she got up to grab her charging phone next to the wall. "We thought it would be nice, one last one, since it _will_ be the last for some of us." She shrugged and began sliding her finger down the phones screen.

"You guys, what am I going to do at Dartmouth without all of you?" Tiffany asked.

"Well, if you just went to a college close to Yale, we wouldn't have had that problem." Noelle smirked. We were still kinda on a rough patch, ever since she told me about Jen. Saying that it _was _Josh's fault. But I vowed to myself to leave it alone. It wasn't my problem, nor was it my business.

"Doesn't Natasha go there?" I heard Constance squeak.

"Lovely, you can bunk with the lesbians."

I tensed, Noelle knew Natasha was my friend. Even though she wasn't straight, that didn't make her not one of the sweetest girls I know. She was my first Billings roommate, I would find it very hard to forget her.

"You'll be fine, Tiff." I said standing my ground. Noelle and I sent each other glares before looking at the screen.

"Maybe I could get Dan to go with me." Tiffany smiled.

Noelle almost choked on her sparkling juice. "Dan? That new kid?"

"Well, who else?"

"I mean, he's so..."

"So what, Noelle." I egged her on. Dan was my friend too, what was with her tonight? It's like her bitchy self was all back. Just like it was sophomore year again, and the previous Billings girls were here to back her up, gang up against me.

"You're so out of his league."

"He's a nice guy." I said quickly.

"You know who else is a nice guy?" Noelle asked, sarcastically nice. It made my blood boil.

"Who?" I said, mocking her tone.

"Hollis."

I bit my tongue from saying anything else. She was just making fun of me more. The rest of the girls obviously noticed something was up, so they shifted in their seats and watched the movie again.

"I mean, I'd watch out for him, Reed."

"Drop it, Noelle." I said through clenched teeth.

"I'm just being a great friend." She shrugged, "I mean, I am your best."

"Yeah, you surely are." I whispered.

She seemed to not hear it, and sat in he triumph.

"Aw-kward." Vienna whispered.

Hell right it was.

"What's the date?" London asked, examining her fake nails.

"June first." Shelby said, while throwing back a handful of popcorn into her mouth.

"That's like... six more days." London said. High five for her, she knows her math. Tiffany squeezed her legs closer to her chest. I looked at her with sympathy.

"I can't wait to get out of here." Noelle said, taking a swing.

"Tell me about it, college boys are so yummy!" Vienna squealed.

"And the professors." Portia said, raising an eyebrow. A share of laughs filled the room.

"Portia getting laid for A's." Tiffany giggled. I laughed along with that one.

Noelle glanced at the window, as if she was expecting someone to come swooping through the door, to give her something. I studied her. What was different? I really wanted to tell her about the whole Dan kissing me thing. But we haven't been talking. Which is kinda hard, we are roommates after all. Dash came and visited her the other day, from Yale. Which left me kicked out of my room. I spent almost four hours in the library studying my ass off for huge test teachers feel the need to give at this time of year. And on top of that, I have to start studying for finals next week too. There was too much to do.

The movie was soon over, and everyone returned to their designated rooms, this was going to be fun.

Noelle shut the door behind her as she strutted into the room, she didn't say anything.

"What the hell was that?"

"Oh, that was me walking into this sad excuse for a dorm room." She smiled.

"No, while we were watching the movie, you were totally being a bitch." I snapped, my arms crossed, my weight on my left foot.

She let out a evil laugh. "That was nothing." She waved her hand and walked over to her desk and opened her Macbook Pro.

"It was something. Why are you mad at me all of a sudden?"

She was silent, her eyes reflected the screen. "So, I tried to tell you about your oh so perfect boyfriends past. And you denied it, I mean, you can't do that. You can't change it, so don't get mad at me for my opinion and views." She said, still scrolling on the web.

I let out a sigh, "I'm sorry, I was in shock. But it's no reason for you to be mad at me."

She finally took her eyes off the computer screen and turned herself to me, "Listen Brennan, I have nine days. Nine more freaking days of being in charge. I can be mad at anyone, and do anything I want. I'm Noelle Lange, with nine more days of being the uber bitch everyone is scared of, I'm just taking advantage of it." She winked at me.

"Just don't take advantage of it on me, or your close friends, do you want to go into college friendless?" I laughed.

She smirked, "Impossible. They all love me."

"So true." I said sarcastically and let out a scoff and she shot me a sarcastic look.

"So you and Hollis better?"

"Yeah, we're good." I was going to avoid telling her about me and Dan. Nothing happened, as far as I know. "You know, I'm trying to get Dan and Tiffany together."

"What does Dan have to do with Josh?"

I looked up, trying to make a honest fact, "I don't know, their friends." But Noelle knew something was up, she wasn't dumb. I ignored her eyebrow raise and returned to unpacking my backpack, and spreading out my stuff, organizing things on my bed to my desk.

"Why Dan with Tiffany?"

"Because, she likes him."

"Or, do you want her to like him, so he's out of your picture?"

I bit my lip, and started to flip through my AP Biology book. Trying to decide if I should study or not. "I don't know, I would like to see him happy."

"I think he'd be more happy if he was with you. I heard about what he was telling the Ketlar boys." She raised both eyebrows and turned to her computer, racing her fingers along the trackpad. I didn't say anything, just glared at her sleek, shiny, and perfectly straightened hair. Her manicured nails, along with her plastic surgery worthy nose, to her put together outfit, all the way down to her brown stilettos.

"Earth to Reed," She said slowly, not looking back at me for a second.

"I just, he knows he can't be with me. I'm taken, and anyways, I've already told him to go for Tiffany. So he pretty much knows, I have no feelings for him."

She took a moment to scan her screen one more time, and turned her swivel PBteen chair to face me. Her hands were folded in her lap. "I'm just saying. You better watch out with him."

I smiled, looking up from my books, and simply said, "Noelle, you're Noelle Lange, and I'm Reed Brennan, who do we _not_ have to watch out for?"

She raised her eyebrow and committed her signature smirk, "I swear, you're getting to be more and more like me everyday."

I frowned and started to gnaw on my thumb nail, as I went back to studying.

She turned back to her computer, "I kinda like it."

* * *

The next day, it was the first day of June. I decided to meet up with Dan for some serious Tiff planning. He was almost forced to go to the library with me. I spent probably a half hour texting him, begging him to meet me up. We haven't talked since the whole little outing, where he basically told me that going out with him would help me get over Josh. I'm one-hundred-and-ten percent sure that would never work out, nor happen.

I took a seat at one of the many tables in the library, in the middle of the room. All around the neat rows of mahogany colored tables, were selfs and selfs of books. But to the left of me were lines and lines of computers. Easton's library was very over the top, and I was only on the second floor.

Many students were scattered around the building in various areas, all the proactive people who know that cramming last minute for finals like these would only give them hot water and a huge slap in the face. Or the seniors who did, after all, have finals in So I pulled a heavy book out of my messenger bag and opened it up to chapter twenty five. But every few seconds, I glanced up to see if Dan was on his way. Or worse, if Josh was.

About five minutes later, my reading was interrupted by Dan setting his backpack down on the table. The bag sounded like it hand rocks in it, and his phone started to beep. I gracefully look up at him.

He stared back.

"Well, are you going to get that?" I asked, nodded to his bag.

"Right." He dug through various pockets, and got an evil glare from the librarian. But he finally found it. "I'll be one second." I nodded and he walked downstairs. I was alone once again.

_Hey, Dan... so I heard Tiffany _does_ like you. You should_ totally_ go for her. I mean, once you two start getting serious, we could double date. My treat. _

_ So, about Tiffany. I think you should definently give her a chance. I think she has a crush on you, and plus, it's the end to your senior year, what do you have to loose?_

I ran through lines of things to say to him in my mind, over and over. I had to sound convincing. This had to work out.

"Hey, sorry about that." He smiled and slid into the seat across from me.

"Oh, it's fine." I gave him a small smile and push my book aside. I laid my forearms on the table, and laced my fingers together. From his slouched position on his chair, Dan chuckled at me. I rolled my eyes.

"So, how the hell am I supposed to tell Tiffany Goulbourne that I like her?" He asked.

"That's where I come in. I already know that she likes you. You honestly don't have to do much. I'm pretty sure she's not doing anything Friday night. That's what, three days away. You'll have plenty of time. Why don't you pick her up and take her out somewhere? Like not out for dinner. Too awkward. Maybe downtown?" I offered, trying not to rush my words. He seemed to take a few minutes to take this whole plan in.

"I'm in way over my head."

I sighed, "Dan, trust me you're not."

"How do you know she's not setting me up for this?" He asked.

"Tiffany is a sweet girl. And frankly, I think she does like you. I mean, she even googled you..." I said, my eyes looking at the collar on his short sleeve shirt.

He laughed, "She googled me?"

I probably should _not _have said that. I'll apologize later. But who knows, maybe they'll get married in the future and we'll just all laugh back at this.

Maybe.

"Yeah, just... have fun. She'll love you. And she _does_ want to get to know you. Trust me."

"I'm trusting you." He said sweetly, scrolling through his iPhone. I watched him, denying myself from wondering who is always calling him and texting him. He seemed preoccupied.

"If you excuse me, there's a book I have to find." I forced a smile and he returned a nod. I got up and walked into one of the many aisles surrounding us.

Apparently the wrong one, because I ran into Trey. Just the person I needed to see me here. I began to turn around.

"Reed!" He whispered.

I guess I was too late, I slowly turned around and smiled. "Hey, Trey." I said back. "What are you doing here?"

"Studying, finals seemed to come up out of no where."

Phew, it didn't seem like he saw me with Dan. It really wouldn't have been such a big deal if half of Ketlar was against him. I decided to pursue a conversation with Trey. It would only look natural.

"I know, I'm trying to find out where the time went." I pointed my right foot to the floor and leaned against the bookshelf, my left hand around my right arm.

He gave me a toothy grin. "I know, I'm going to miss Astrid."

I sat up a bit, "Wait, what?"

"Well, she's going to Princeton, and I don't think I am. It's going to be between Yale and Dartmouth. I can't see myself at Princeton." He shrugged, flipping through the pages of a book I will probably be reading next year.

I frowned, shocked by the news. "Well, are you two going to try to stay together?"

He smashed his lips together, causing the skin around them to puff out. "I don't think so. We might try, but it might be way too hard. Long distance and all."

I gulped. Why hadn't Astrid told me any of this? Was I really growing that far apart from everyone? What about yesterday, when we were all watching movies... she didn't even mention anything. "I'm really sorry." I said, my face probably still filled with the shock.

He smiled, "It's fine... I mean, she says she'll only be holding me back. But I don't think so. So if anyone is getting dumped here, it'll be me."

"And yet, you're still smiling about that." I pointed out. We quietly laughed.

Trey looked behind us, "So what are you doing here with the 'Reed Stealer'?"

I scoffed, resumed my original position, and looked at the shelf across from us, "Is that what everyone is calling him?"

"Nah, just Josh and I." He smiled. Trey was such a bubbly kid, I absolutely loved that about him.

I smiled, "I know, I shouldn't. But we're friends. Just because I have a boyfriend, doesn't mean I can't talk to other guys." I shrugged, defending myself.

"You're right, it's just what that kid brings to the table. He kind of creeps me out." He went into total serious mode.

I pursed my lips a bit and crossed my arms over my chest.

"I mean, you know what you're getting yourself into though?" He asked.

"Getting myself into?"

"Reed, look, as much as you convince yourself and deny it, you know that he likes you."

I looked to the floor.

"I mean, I would just watch myself if I were you... For Josh's sake."

Of course for Josh's sake. Everything I do, I think about how Josh would feel about it. Well, what about Reed's sake? I should be able to do what I want. This was something completely out of Josh's sake. It had nothing to do with it.

I just nodded, "Well, I have a book to find. I'll see you around."

"See ya." Trey smiled, and went back into his book. I walked past him, down the aisle and took a left. Trying to shake our conversation out of my head. A pain was pinging in my chest, pain almost. And I didn't feel well. I can't believe it... Astrid and Trey breaking up? Over college? I mean, I guess it's pretty explanatory. But they wouldn't be _that_ far away. Josh and I would be way worse off.

I found the book I needed, and returned to the table Dan was at. He was on the phone... again. I was starting to get worried. I sat down and he got rid of the mysterious person on the other line.

"Did something happen?" I asked smiling.

"Oh, me? No, no, no. I'm just being Mr. Popular today." He smiled.

"Right." I smirked, I opened my book. "You don't have to stay if you don't want. I mean all I wanted to do was talk to you about Tiffany. I think I'm just going to study for a bit."

He sighed, and reached into his bag, placing a book on the table. He smiled, "I think I'll stay."

I smiled back at him and continued skimming, and doing any practices in the back of my book.

Loving the not so awkward silence.

* * *

_so it's like 4:53 in the morning, I've been up all night because sleep just seems to be next to impossible. And I've been holding off this chapter for what seems like a week. That isn't fair to you guys, but like ten people reviewed so I cracked down and kept myself in my room. So sorry about this excuse for a chapter. But hey, it's getting reed to think, will her and josh survive next year? I'm pretty sure writing about her senior year + college + after college in one story will be way better than her junior year in high school.. most of the same stuff is getting repeated. _

_well, i would VERY MUCH APPRICIATE if anyone took the time to read this ohh so lovely authors note at the end, and reviewed. i mean, whatever, i haven't been getting as much reviews as i would like. and I'm starting to grow out of fan fiction): i was talking to someone about it, and i'm thinking it gets more and more true every day. _

_hey, we all grow up some time._

_but dont worry, i will be back. you'll probably get one more complete story out of me on top of this one, and i'll call it an ending of an era, and i will pass down the fan fiction torch to the new authors of the private series. and i will hope alls well._

_just like LC passed the Hills torch down to Kristen. omg, the hills series finale mad me want to cry)':_

_enough of thiss!_

_REVIEW LADIES(:_

-laurennn.


	30. Bruised

Dan decided to walk me back to my dorm. It was getting dark out, and I wouldn't want to even see what could possibly happen if I walked back alone. I couldn't say no, right? So I did. I thought it would be a great opportunity if Tiffany was in the parlor, I could just get them to hang out a bit. I was glad she was there, some one had to help me with my possibly bruised rib.

"Help!" I cried. My arm slung over Dan's shoulder as he walked me into the house, the side of my body searing with pain.

Tiffany rushed over from the room that the television was in, she stopped, once she saw Dan. Noelle trotted down the stairs with Portia. Rose looked up from her book.

"What happened?" Tiffany yelled.

"Dan socked me in the ribs." I whimpered. The girls all looked around at each other, there was a long pause.

"Guys?" I begged.

Then the commotion.

"Sit her down!"

"Is there an ice pack in the fridge?"

"Should I call 911?"

"How are you feeling?"

"How the hell could you hit a girl?"

"Let me get Mrs. Naylor!"

I closed my eyes and held my side, he should have just taken me to the infirmary.

"What the hell happened?" Rose asked, getting to my level in front of my chair.

I opened my eyes, "We were walking back from the library, and jokingly pushing each other, I punched him in the arm, he went to punch me in mine, but I moved and he missed and swung and hit my rib." I let out a groan of pain.

"Good luck telling Hollis that story." Noelle raised her eyebrows at Dan. His eyes widened, him and Josh were _already_ in a fight. Now Josh would know about this whole library thing.

"Josh won't find out."

"Reed, your freaking rib is jacked up, of course he'll find out!" Noelle shouted, she started to laugh. I eyed her, daring her to stop. She rolled her eyes and walked over to me.

"No seriously though, are you in huge pain?" She asked me, putting her hand on my shoulder.

I nodded, "I can't breathe." I took in short inhales of air, only making my heart speed up.

"She's over here!" London led Mrs. Naylor over to my chair.

"Oh my..." Mrs. Naylor came over to me. "What happened?"

"She was punched in the rib, on 'accident'." Vienna explained casually, bobbing her head while using finger quotes.

"Lift up your shirt."

I pulled up the right side of my shirt, revealing my skin. She lightly touched my rib and I bit my lip, trying not to wince. I was a tough girl. I could take a few bruised ribs.

"Let me call the doctor!" She rushed out of the Parlor, and left me in the plush chair.

"Dan, would you like something to drink?" Tiffany asked calmly, I couldn't help but smile, he nodded and followed her over to our small kitchen.

Noelle bent over and took a look at the damage, she pressed on the skin that must of looked appealing to her.

"Ow." I hissed.

"Sorry, sorry." She apologized, "You're just bruised. Dash got the same thing when we were in tenth grade, you'll be okay."

Mrs. Naylor cam rushing back in, "Their on their way, everyone just stay calm." She was freaking out about this a lot more than I was, and I was the one who got hurt.

It took only ten minutes for the doctor in charge to arrive at Billings. It was my lucky day, we had already met. Doctor Avery. The one who helped me on my whole pregnancy scare. When he stepped foot into the door, and saw that _I _was the one who was sitting on that chair, in a swarm of girls, his eyes widen. As if he was beginning to think he was going to have a big year with my next year as well.

_Boo freaking hoo. _

"Miss Brennan, can I please take a look?" He asked, I nodded, looking the other way while I rolled up my shirt again, trying to breathe. "Tell me when this hurts."

London giggled and whispered, "That's what he said."

The twin cities shared a laugh and high-fived, but the doctor ignored them. His fingers gently pushed on my ribs.

"Ow," I whispered, biting the side of my lip. He touched another spot, "Ow," I closed my eyes. He finished up.

"Well, Miss Brennan, you indeed do have bruised ribs. Nothing we can't cure within a week however. He pulled a pill bottle out of his black bag. "Take one of these, everyday. If you are having severe pain, take two. I want you to ice your ribs, wrap the ice bag in a towel though, do no apply it directly. You can't do any sports until this is all cleared up, and rest, rest, rest, rest. Try to protect that side of your rib with your arm, just so nobody else hurts it. And, you should be all better before school ends, no worries." He smiled and got up to leave, "Oh, if you are still experiencing pain in a week, stop by the office, I'll give you a stronger pill. Good day, Miss Brennan... Ladies." He nodded before slipping out of the dorm. I watched him go, and I unraveled my shirt.

"That's all?" Shelby asked, she was one of the many girls crowding around me.

"Come on, you should go to your room." Noelle waved me up the stairs. I took a small breath and followed her up, "Thanks, guys." I smiled down the stairs.

They all nodded and resumed their place before I came in.

Our room was somewhat more cold, which felt good. I sat at the edge of my bed, unscrewing the pill cap, and placing one in my mouth, then chugged some water out of the Evian next to my bed.

"So, he 'punched' you... Is this Dan kid abusing you?" Noelle asked.

"No."

"Reed, come on, tell me."

I sighed, getting up and grabbing something to sleep in out of my drawer, I was suddenly exhausted. "He was just kinda flirting with me, that's all, and then he obviously killed it."

She laughed, "Obviously... I mean, does he ever hit on you?"

"Hit on me? Like... kiss me?"

She nodded.

"No! No, no. Ew. No, I've already said to his face that I wouldn't ever go out with him, I'm sure he's getting the picture. But, I don't think Josh is that huge of a threat, I mean, it's not like he punches people, the first time was this his cousin." I started to change in my closet.

"Well, that's huge, why did he punch his cousin?"

"Well, I think it was over Christmas... I stayed with the Hollis's and Hunter, his cousin, came home drunk, me and Josh just got into a huge fight, and Hunter attacked me, Josh saw, and punched him, he said something about not loving me." I explained, taking brakes just to breathe.

"Oh." That's all Noelle said, and I was fine with that. Talking was taking a bit out of me, and I was already tired as it is. I flicked off the lights, and slowly laid down in bed.

"I can't believe I bruised my ribs, the last month of school." I moaned in my pillow.

"It was Dan's fault."

"It wasn't his fault, it was both of us."

"Did you throw the punch?" Noelle asked, throwing pillows to the bottom of her bed.

I shook my head no, finally feeling defeated.

"S'night." I slurred.

"Night, Reed." She laughed at me, and shut the lights off before she returned downstairs.

* * *

Portia placed her glossy _Vogue_ magazine down on the table in front of her. It was a new day, we were at dinner, she began to speak. "So, since most of us are going to prom... How about shopping this weekend? A last high school shopping spree?"

"Fab just what I need." Noelle nodded, placing her juice down.

"What about finals?" Rose asked, fanning the idea in the air.

"We'll only be gone for one day. Don't worry about it." Noelle shrugged, picking at her half bagel.

I looked over and Josh and smiled. He returned one too. He had just asked me to prom a few days ago. His fingers grazed my hand, teasing me.

"Floral. It's so in." London said, stretching out each word.

"I saw that! And gold. We're going to have to look über gor." Vienna smiled at her best friend.

"I'm thinking, Ronald and Jade do our hair, Liz does make up, and comes ahead of time, to give us personally made shoes." Noelle placed her head on the back of her hand. A chorus of "oohhh"'s went around the table from the girls.

I smiled, "So prom is going to be... big."

"Prom will be bigger than my dick... if that _is_ possible." Gage swooped in at the right time to make a perverted comment.

"Ew!" Constance squealed.

"Come on, it's not like Whit hasn't whipped his out on you?" He winked at Constance. She instantly turned a scarlet shade on her face. My heart went out to her.

"Leave her alone." I said under my breathe.

"What's that New Girl? Something to add?"

I shot him a look. Gage was definently _not_ going to be one of the people I miss. Who's cruel enough to hit one on Constance Talbot? I debated if I should say something, knowing he would get something to use back at me. Like for example, mine and Josh's sex life. Like I _really_ want to go down that road.

"Oh, icing on the cake, I pissed more than one person off today." He sat down and popped a grape in his mouth, "I really am going to miss being a senior."

"Me too." Josh uttered, continuing to tease my hand. I scooted my chair forward and leaned back. Josh looked up at me faking a shocked look. I sarcastically returned his look right back to him.

"Where's the after party at?" Shelby asked, that girl always randomly shows up, out of freaking no where.

"Stan Wieslens house." Noelle said, from her authoritative position at the head of the table.

I tuned out of the conversation, taking in the information that I cared about. Instead, I watched people walk into the cafeteria.

"Wow." Missy gasped, her nose sticking out farther than the rest of her body, I glanced down at her before looking up at the double doors.

Wow was right. Ivy Slade strode into the cafeteria. Her petite-ish frame was covered with a white sundress. She had a pair of heels on in bright red, making an obvious statement. She pulled her Dior glasses off her face, placing them in her bag. At the speed she was walking, you could see her two month baby bump under her dress. She didn't even look at Gage, but he seemed to be very interested, instead she went over to her respectful spot at the Pemberly table.

Josh didn't even seem to look twice. The knuckle of his finger running its way down my thigh and back. The contact to my bare skin, thanks to my short khaki shorts, it seemed like I was being electrocuted in an amazing way. My heart did back flips.

I looked over at him, smirking. He smiled, obvious to the way he makes me feel.

"Geez, Coolidge. Looks like Baby Mama's taking favor in you, did you kick her bump last night?" Noelle leaned to him, smirking.

"Ivy's great, I give her her medicine every night." He started chuckling under his breath.

"That's weird, the last time I checked, you weren't even the _father_." Noelle scrunched up her nose.

"That's weird, the last time I checked, you wouldn't care if Reed got pregnant." Gage gave her a sly smile and a nod. "Why are you taking interest in Ivy?"

Noelle glanced over at me, her eyes quickly went from big to their normal size. My armpits started to bead sweat, and I pushed my bangs off my face, to only allow them to go back to a similar spot. Josh shifted in his seat. I started to wonder if Gage knew what he just said meant _anything_ important to me. He obviously didn't because he went on eating.

"I would be more an concerned if that happened to Reed, thank god it won't for a while." Noelle said, sipping her juice.

"You never know, Hollis could do the deed... maybe." Gage smirked, proud of himself.

"Gage." Josh said in a warning tone. He grabbed my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

I pursed my lips, to keep me from jumping across the table and strangling Gage with all my might, but he was lucky, my side hurt really bad.

"You're just upset because you weren't the one that knocked her up." Noelle spat, referring to Ivy.

_Note to self, thank Noelle for changing the subject._

Gage laughed, "I probably am the one that did it. I don't know man, she wants to do some test or something once it's born."

Noelle and Gage continued on with their argument, over something completely pointless. The thought of Gage even referring to me being pregnant made me mad with fire. Josh seemed to notice, and placed his hand on my thigh, rubbing circles with his thumb, calming me down.

I glanced around the cafeteria, Ivy with her friends, Lorna hiding her cell phone under the table, a group of Bradwell freshman talking in hushed tones and looking over at our table. I caught one, and she blushed before— what looked to be painfully— snapping her head the other way. I also saw Dan, he was on his cell phone, talking. He looked like he was dealing with something, almost business related. He stood outside the doors, I could still see him. He hung up and walked inside, like nothing happened. Strange.

"Hey," He smiled to Tiffany, then nodded to me. I waved.

"Hey, you can sit right here." Tiffany patted the empty chair next to her, and he gladly took it. I smiled and looked down.

Something obviously happened when Tiffany got Dan something to drink in the kitchen when I got hurt. They looked like they had some kind of connection. I was happy. My match maker skills were a go.

"Wanna get out of here?" Josh whispered in my ear.

I looked over at him, my eyes studying his face. His eyes were green today. And his curls unruly as ever. It was next to impossible for me to say no to him.

I nodded, agreeing. Collecting my stuff, I threw away the remains of dinner. Coming back only to take his hand and walk out of the room.

****

* * *

sorry for the wait, but I've had probably theeee biggest writers block. I can't keep my mind on anything. sooo here's a bad chapter(:

but what do you think will happen if Reed has to tell Josh what Dan has done?

oh, and i probably just ruined the whole story, I really tried to make this come off as an accident (which it was)

well please please please pleaseee review, i have 95 active viewers. and i would love to hear from all of you(:

-laurennn.


	31. What Do You Mean?

Josh opened the door to his room for me. The usual buzz from escaping the dorm advisor's eye and getting to the fourth floor safely always made me feel great. I smiled and tossed my bag onto the floor around his bed. The room felt still, and somewhat cold. Which was nice, the air was way too humid outside. The sun wasn't out. It was just a cloudy, hot, sticky day. Yet I got goosebumps.

I walked over to the window and examined the sky some more.

Yup, still looks like hell in the clouds.

"Mmmm." Strong arms wrapped around my shoulders. Squeezing them to Josh's chest. I blushed and placed my hands on his arms.

"What exactly were you planning on doing when you lured me out of there?" I asked Josh.

"Well, I don't know." He trailed kisses up my neck.

I looked at the corner of the room, there were boxes flattened out. Ready to be set up and packed. Probably for all of his paintings. It was depressing to see, yet so exciting.

I broke loose of his grip and turned, giving him one kiss on the lips. He returned the favor, and soon we were making out. As always, it got to the bed.

He laid on me.

"Ow." I breathed out in pain.

"What's wrong? What did I do?" Josh asked, pulling himself up with his hands, looking down at me.

I remembered my ribs. I looked at his lips. Debating if I should tell him or not. If I told him about Dan, he would be pissed that one, I didn't tell him earlier, two that Dan even touched me, and three, I was with Dan alone in the library. But if I didn't tell him, and lied, he'd be pissed because I'm sure he'd find out later. And this relationship isn't having lies anymore. What if I just didn't say anything? Going on with the pain, hopefully making it better.

It'll never get better that way...

"Reed?"

My head snapped up, and I got pulled from my thoughts. "What?"

He chuckled, "Did I hurt you?"

"No, no, _you_ didn't." I whispered. you

He gave me a confused look. I regretted saying that.

"I mean— I said that all wrong."

"Reed, tell me what's wrong." Josh rolled off and sat next to me, against the headboard. I felt awkward just lying there, so I propped myself up on my elbows. The sudden movement killed me and I let out a small cry.

"Reed, know you can tell me anything." Josh placing his hand on my waist, close to were the bruise was, I wasn't handling this very well.

Those words got me, he was almost too concerned, and I couldn't fan away the subject now. It was in too deep. I took the biggest breath I could without doubling over in vicious pain. "I'm hurt, that's all." Trying my best to say as little as I could, hopping he'd drop the subject.

Josh smiled, "Too hurt to move?"

I stared at the wall in front of us.

"Well, my ribs bruised..." He deserved that much.

"Reed." He breathed. He sat up, and looked at me. "You... How did you bruise a rib?"

"It's nothing, don't worry about it." I trailed off, I leaned in and kissed him.

He pulled away, "It's not nothing? You can barely breathe right or even sit up. Did someone do this to you?" His defensive side got in, he was fully sitting up from his spot, his eyes looking down at me. I loved him very much at the second, but just wanted him to drop it.

I was silent though, not wanting to confess.

"Reed, I'll kick their ass."

"Josh—"

"Tell me, who did this to you?" He asked, fully serious. I knew he would never literally kick someone's ass.

"Josh, don't worry about it." Sweat started to prick under my arms.

"Wait, you're trying to save this person? You are not going to tell me who bruised your rib?" He asked as if he couldn't believe it.

I bit the side of my lip. "It was on accident... I was pushing him... he pushed me... and then he went to punch me in the arm... but I moved and he got me in the side." I said slowly.

He got up off the bed. "What idiot would punch you?"

The moment of truth,I gulped. "...Dan."

Josh was silent, but he looked at me in shock. His eyes filled with anger. He looked ready to kill.

"Josh, please, don't do anything!" I shouted at him.

"You mean, I can't even protect my own girlfriend?" He yelled.

"No! I don't mean that!"

"Then what do you mean, Reed?" He asked me, "What the hell do you mean? Because to me, it seems like you're trying to get Dan out of what he really deserves. Who the hell is dumb as fuck to go punch a girl? And, Reed, he knows how much I hate him already. Wait, why were you even with him? And pushing each other? He was so flirting with you wasn't he? I saw that look you two gave each other at dinner. I ignored it, but... maybe I shouldn't anymore. Reed, tell me what's going on." He stood up off the bed.

"I..." I stuttered, trying to collect my words to put this out right. If I said this wrong, I would be ruined. Josh would be pissed. "I invited Dan to come to the library with me. He said yes, because I'm trying to get him and Tiffany together. I told him what's up, and I had it all under control. Then he started teasing me, like jokingly. You know, a shove here or there between us... then he went to punch my shoulder, but I moved and he got my rib. I—I just don't know, it happened fast. And now my rib hurts like a bitch, and I was really not looking forward to telling you, because you're probably so pissed off at me. And I was right though, Dan and Tiffany got together, so I guess I was taking one for the team. And I'm not trying to cover for Dan, I would just really like to forget it. And we weren't flirting, at least I wasn't flirting. Not that I can recall. And, Josh I just... and... I..." I stopped, needing to get a huge breath of air. So I inhaled silently, deeply, and then took a good long exhale. It relieved me, and my now free chest was beginning to clear up. Josh looked down at me, he cooled down.

"I what?" He smiled, I decided to get up and face him, getting close. He grabbed my hand.

I sighed, smiling, looking down. When I looked up at him, gazing, I said, "I would really want you to kiss me and tell me everything will be okay."

He nodded, stepping closer until his hands were on my face and his lips lightly touching mine. I almost pounced on him, wanting to kiss him so bad. "I'm so sorry." I said between a kiss.

He shook his head, pulling away, "I understand. Just because I'm dating you, doesn't mean you can't talk to other guys. It's just... you know I really despise Dan. I nodded.

"I know."

"Can I see it?" He asked.

I wore a confused look, "See what? My rib?"

Josh simply nodded.

I bit the inside of my lip, and clutched the ends of my adorable shirt. I slower lifted it up, and over my head. The shirt was off. My hair, all flipped to one side from the running off my shirt. I pulled my arm back, revealing my light blue side. It was blotchy. Nothing big and purple. It wasn't that big at all. It hurt more than it looked though. Josh got to the injury's level. He looked up at me before gently, gently kissing it. I closed my eyes. Thankful he wasn't pummeling Dan to the floor, or yelling at me, or reporting this as harm. Instead, he was trying to make _me_ feel better. My hand went through his hair, as he rounded to my back, to were the bruise stopped. He stood back up effortlessly and kissed my shoulder.

"Feel better?"

I nodded, "Much."

"You should put your shirt on," He said looking away.

I frowned.

"Reed, just do it..." He begged.

I grabbed my shirt off his bed and got it back on slowly, trying not to hurt myself.

"You want me." I teased, wrapping me arms around his neck.

"Terribly." He smiled, grabbed my hips and pulling me to him. He wrapped his arms around my lower back, where it didn't hurt and pulled me to him. He put his forehead against mine, and smiled, "Everything will be okay, Reed, I promise."

* * *

**hit or miss? i didn't really feel like writing. i have terrible writers block.**

**so only four pages. **

**kay have fun reviewing(:**

**-laurenn**

**check out links on my page! i just got twitter and tumblr up there.**


	32. First Born

I had five days left with Josh. Sneaking over to his dorm, spending the night. Stealing kisses in the Art Cemetery. Going around past curfew. Seeing him study and cram for test. Seeing him in general. For a whole stinking year. I was also loosing Noelle. No more spa trips. Shopping trips. Trips in general until probably Spring Break. No more gossiping in the quad. Nothing. Two people who meant so much to me, were both being torn away from the eight mile radius I was used to.

I really wonder how exactly I will do it. It still hasn't registered to me. I make it seem like they're dying. They're not. They're just growing up. Something that is much needed for me. Growing up and getting away. Go write somewhere. Who knows, maybe I could fix my life into one book. What a hell of a book that would be. I smiled at myself as we all crossed the quad.

"I think my nails are chipping." Amberly spat.

Even though she wasn't in Billings, she followed us everywhere. Nobody cared to answer, but nobody cared to make a smart comeback. Too tired. Too late in the year to fight. Noelle was still somewhat nice to her, only because of their family connections. I was only nice to her because of mine...

Scott called me a few days ago, gossiped like a girl about Amberly for a whole hour straight. I thanked the Lord when I saw my mom was on call waiting, and got off as soon as I could. Apparently, they aren't going to have sex again until Amberly's legal. Considering her current age, five, that might take a while.

"Ladies, we need another fitting. And I think I'm going to send out invites the day after we graduate. I can't hold this off any longer." Noelle announced. We all nodded. Agreeing silently with the idea. We all knew by now not to question Noelle. Especially when it came to her wedding. She hasn't really laid down permanent dates, and Dash was always all over the place with college and such. Finals were soon for us, and everyone was tired from studying.

It was just after chapel. We were walking to our first class. I dragged my feet in my sandals, falling instep with the rest of the girls. Silence over came us somewhat, and we started looking down and around aimlessly.

I glanced over at Constance walking next to me, she was still recovering from that comment Gage got out at her yesterday. I was recovering from my punch though too. There wasn't a bruise anymore, and it only hurt a bit.

I felt someone walk up behind me, an arm slipped around my waist, pulling me close to him. Josh.

"Good morning, beautiful." He whispered in my ear.

I smiled at him, "You too." We walked a bit slower, behind the Billings Girls.

"How are you feeling?" Josh asked, his hand slide easily into mine. I gave him a squeeze.

"Better... The bruise is gone, so I'm hoping that by the end of the week I'll feel even more better." I forced a small smile, closing my eyes for a bit.

"That's good to hear, I don't want you to be in pain."

I smiled, touched, "Well... your kisses worked."

He gave me a grin and squeezed my hand. "Then, I say you should take a dose every few hours."

I laughed and gave him a kiss.

"Attention everyone!" Gage called over the quad. He lifted his sunglasses off his face and smirked, "For all you seniors out there who are looking forward to a bit of fun..." He placed his hand on his chest. I looked up at him, not caring about what he had to say. I wasn't a senior. "I'm bringing back Easton Senior Prank Day."

The guys near by laughed and high fived.

"So I take it you're all with me?"

Josh was laughing, I looked over at him, happiness dancing in his eyes. "What?"

"Nothing." I mumbled, forcing a smile. He deserved to be happy. He told me his dad was doing better. As good as he could, but still weak. I could tell he was worried, he always said that he knew he would make it through, but I know Josh. He's concerned, and scared. I know he is. I just want him to be happy. Have fun. It's his last week of high school, go ahead prank the guts out of the school. As long as he is smiling.

Noelle groaned, "Senior pranking is so five years ago." She took a sip of her water.

The girls stopped smiling at the excitement and quickly agreed with her. I rolled my eyes, staying out of this one.

"Well what else are we supposed to do, Lange? We're never coming back to the hell called 'High School' again. I say we leave it knowing us forever." He smirked.

"Got a plan yet, Coolidge?" Trey asked, tickling Astrid from behind. She let out a small squeal before turning around and giving him a teasing look. They were almost too cute. It was hard to believe they would even want to break up. I would never really understand that.

"Nope... That's where you guys come in." He grinned.

We all fell back into the separation of whispers and quiet chaos.

"Have you talked to Dan at all?" Josh asked. I looked up, a bit shocked about the random bit that just came out of his mouth.

"Way to drop a question."

"Reed..."

"No. No I actually haven't. Not since that night." I said glancing up at him, back to the ground, then to him. 'That night'... it made the whole thing sound so dirty. Maybe I should call Dan, ask about Tiffany, see if he's okay. I mean, I hope he doesn't think that I hate him. Because I don't, I really don't.

"That's good, he's weird, Reed. I mean really." Josh wrapped his arm around me.

"Josh..." I trailed off, my defensive side kicking in. "Do you even know him?"

"I know him well enough to know he has a thing for you." He replied, shrugging it off.

I nodded slowly, not wanting to fight.

"Hey, you wanna do something tonight?" He asked.

"Like what?" I replied, my arms snaking around his back.

"Well, I don't know. Hang out at one of our rooms." He shrugged.

Me and Josh have been spending a lot of time together it seems. But, I guess that's fine. I've been hanging out with him at the night, and my friends all day. But, he wasn't the only one leaving next year.

"I'd like that." I smiled.

He gave me a toothy grin, I realized where we walked, Josh and I stalled outside Billings until every last girl was inside. He was facing me, his arms around my lower back, holding me close.

"Wanna help me pack a bit too?"

"Is that the only reason why I'm coming over?" I asked with a laugh.

He chuckled, "No, no. Kill a guy for wanting to spend time with you."

"I think you would." I smiled before leaning in and giving him a meaningful kiss.

I look up at him, he seemed to grow even more every day. I was only up to his shoulder. He had on a sexy white T-shirt that seemed to show every muscles in a bit of detail. My finger grazed down his stomach. I loved it.

"I guess I'll see you around." I smiled, looking up at him.

"I guess." He smirked and gave me another peck on the lips before turning to leave. I watched him walk away for a bit, like I always do, before leaning on the door entering the dorm.

"Why don't you two name your first born after me?" Kiki smirked.

"Everyone knows it's going to be me." Astrid cooed.

I laughed along with them, blowing away the fact that they were probably watching us.

* * *

I know, short. And since I've been gone for so long, you deserve better. Terribly sorry.

But I was suffering the WORST writers block. But I finally cured it, I just changed around the setting. So much easier.

But I need some input...

what's the prank going to be?(:

should Reed even talk to Dan?

too much Josh and Reed for you guys?

hmm, you tell me.

oh!

if you just can't get enough of me (which you probably can..)

I have links to my twitter, youtube, and tumblr on here.

tumblr is my favorite by far though. it's THE most amazing site.

well REVIEW

thanks so much!

-laurennn.


	33. Have a Nice Life

"Anndd, there." I smiled as I fixed one single fly away from Noelle's perfectly even brunette head.

Today was the day I've been dreading, yet so happy for.

Graduation day.

She turned to face me, a huge smile plastered all over her face. "Thanks, Reed." Her hand giving my arm a squeeze. I gave her a warm smile in return.

"I'm so proud of you." I squinted. She flashed another smile. Noelle Lange had the balls to come back, repeat her senior year _at_ Easton. While the rest of the old Billings girls scattered, ditched school or at least never came back to this one. I admired her courage. And yes, was very proud of my best friend.

She was wearing her blue gown. Her cap was soon to be secured on top of her head. Her black six inch heels made her tower over me.

"Dash is flying in with my parents. And my aunts and uncles... Reed, I can't believe this." She walked over to the couch in the parlor. Taking it all in. "It seems just like yesterday..." She trailed off. But I knew what she was thinking. It seemed just like yesterday, she was still a Junior, me a Sophomore. Kiran, Taylor, and even... Ariana, sitting in this very room with us. The only drama here was who wore what hideous thing to the school Christmas party. Or who got the first batch of Marc Jacobs Spring Collection bags. Simple as that. I knew she missed it.

I walked up behind her. Wrapping my arm in hers. "We're better off now. Older, smarter." I nudged her. She returned a smile.

She nodded, "You're right, you're absolutely right."

I gave her a reassuring smile. The rest of the Seniors to not return came tumbling down the stairs. A parade of heels colliding with the glossy hardwood floor filled the room like music. I turned and saw them all up front, looking perfect, gorgeous.

Untouchable.

"You guys all look amazing." I cooed.

"Thanks, Reed!" Portia beamed a smile.

Blue dominated the room. The swirling of trains. Juniors helped their older sisters place their caps on. Making sure to not mess up their precious curls.

I looked down at my dress, it was Tiffany blue. Short, a simple bubble dress that laced up in the back, with a gem on the hip. It was very me. I added on a pair of Constance's silver heels to top it off. And the graduates weren't the only ones primping all day, my hair was curled, my make up done. I had to say, I looked pretty good.

"What are we still doing here? We have diplomas to receive!" Shelby shouted over our chatter.

Cheers filled the room, not in sync. The Billings Girls strode out of the dorm. Arms linked together, curled pouncing, manicures shining.

We almost belonged together.

My heart hit a pang, I didn't want to loose these girls. They were my family. Apart of me. I shared way too many good times to let them go.

"You okay?" Tiffany asked me, looking down.

I glanced up at her cap, let out a small giggle and nodded.

"Never been better."

"Reed!" Unison of cheers coming from the fifteen year old mouths of Tess and Tori Hollis made me look to my right.

The whole Hollis family was here, I saw them all thanks to Tess and Tori's attention. Mrs. Hollis gave me a huge smile and a wave over. I walked across the Easton gymnasium towards them all.

The room consist of a long stage that stretched out forever. In front of the stage were rows and rows of chairs saved for the graduating class. Behind them were neat rows of chairs for the audience. So many people were here. I was beginning to wonder how everyone would fit. Blue and white balloons were tided to the folded up bleachers. Streamers wrapped around them too. A ticker that read _Graduating Class of 2010_ flashed above the stage. Teachers were talking amongst themselves on stage. People running around, setting up. I also saw the new Headmaster. Gazing happily over the crowds and crowds of people. As if he was proud of the turn out.

"Reed! You look amazing!" Gia gasped.

I smiled giddily at her. She gave me a huge grin back, and a warm hug.

"It's so great to see all of you." I said as I hugged everyone I could in the Hollis family. My second family.

When I came to Mr. Hollis, I noticed he was wearing a Yale cap. I gave him a grin, a laugh, then pulled him into a hug.

"How are you feeling?"

"My boy is graduating High School, I am ecstatic!" He beamed.

I laughed along with him, Mrs. Hollis placed her hand on my back.

"Would you like to sit with us?"

I smiled, "I would love to."

We grabbed our seats. I ended up sitting in between Tori and Gia.

"Have you seen Josh at all today?" Tori asked me.

I shook my head no. He wasn't at breakfast. His last high school breakfast.

"That's weird, you'd put two and two together and think the both of you would be attached at the hip." She rolled her eyes.

I gave her a small smile. Where was Josh?

It probably had something to do with that prank with Gage. God knows what that was. I had a feeling we were all going to find out very soon.

"Good afternoon, proud parents, teachers, friends, and students."

The headmaster began his speech. I tried my hardest to listen, but I was too excited. I could barely tell who was who with their caps and gowns on. From behind too. But I tried my best to sit through that horrible speech.

"Portia Ahronian." A group of Portia-looking people stood up and clapped. She waved and strode off stage.

He called numerous amounts of other names. Each grabbed their diploma shook their teachers hands, gave a million dollar smile to the crowd and walked off. Some more confident than others. I would notice that.

"Tiffany Goulborne." I clapped for Tiffany. Her petite frame looked even more tinier all the way up there on stage than it normal does.

"This is hell." Gia leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"Be nice." I whispered back at her, joking around.

She smiled and started clapping for the name just called.

More names.

Then the person we were all here for.

"Joshua Hollis."

The Hollis's cheers echoed throughout the room. I stood up immediately, clapped as hard as I could. Shouting in excitement. Tess and Tori were jumping up and down.

Me eye caught Josh's he gave me a wink. I smiled. My heart still melting as if he was just a crush. I took in the moment as long as I could. The balloons next to the stage, the bleachers mechanically pressed to the wall. The beauty in Josh's face. Everyone, everything.

"He did it! He did it!" Mrs. Hollis cried.

"You must be so proud." I smiled.

"I am." She nodded. Tears budding in her eyes. She smiled and laughed at herself.

We all sat back down, and I watched as Josh strolled back over to his seat. Standing up straight, he looked hot as hell. He didn't gel his curls as much as he usually did. And they were peaking out from under his cap. I wanted to run up there and give him a huge hug and kiss. Congratulate him.

But I sat there quietly, waiting for the other important person in my life.

"Noelle Lange." The Headmaster let out in a happy tone.

Noelle strutted up the stage. Gracefully climbing the stairs. And floating along the floor. She received her golden paper and gave the crowd a smile and wave. Dash was out of his seat cheering. Smile beaming up at her, I could see it from my spot. She waved at me right before returning to her seat.

"Parents, Teachers, Friends, I present you, with much honor, the Graduating Class of two thousand and ten."

The room erupted in roars of accomplishment and relief. Tears were being cried, hugs received. Pictures were snapped as the Seniors tossed their caps into the air. They seemed to spin in slow motion. Confetti blasted out of nowhere, and balloons released. It was such a beautiful scene. Graduates filed out of the school, into the quad. I was guessing.

I pulled it all in, and now just one thing left, find Josh and Noelle.

We too left the gymnasium and walked out into the sunlight. It was hot outside, but a nice breeze was flowing by. It was almost perfect. I was expecting someone to pull out a gun, kidnap someone, or set the school on fire.

It was too weird.

Things haven't been all in place like this for a long time.

Maybe fate was giving me a break, just for this day. So I could let my boyfriend be happy, without having to put up with saving me.

"Josh!" Tess screamed.

He turned around from talking to Trey.

"Hey!" He smiled. She dove in for a hug and he bent down a bit to pull her close.

"Congrats!" She smiled. I let all of Josh's family hug him and give him warm wishes and congratulations. When I was sure everyone was done, I walked forward to him. My arms behind my back. Nervously linked. He gave me a huge relieved smile, as if he was so happy to see me.

"Congratulations, Mr. Graduate." I smiled huge just for him.

"I'm guessing you're my graduation present." Josh chuckled, giving me a smirk. I laughed, arching my back.

He walked to me and I threw my arms around him before he lifted me right off my feet. Twirling us around once.

I squeezed myself to him. Trying to memorize what this felt like.

He placed me back down the ground and put both hands on either sides of my cheeks.

"I'm so proud of you!" I gave him a huge grin and grabbed his wrist.

"Thanks, Reed. By the way..." He leaned to my ear and whispered, "You look so beautiful."

My eyelashes fluttered down. "Thanks." I whispered in his ear back, "And you look pretty sexy in that cap."

He smiled before pulling my face to his, giving me a huge kiss. One of the twins let out a "Whoop!" I pulled away, smiling. "Not here."

He gave me a wanting look, but understood.

"Reed!" Noelle shouted. I turned around to fully face her. "Who's the best?" She smiled, holding up her diploma. I laughed at her, and gave her a hug. Proud of her.

"Congrats!" I whispered as I gave her a family like hug.

"What are you doing after this?" She asked me. I looked behind me, at Josh. He was laughing with his brother and Gia. His parents listening also. The twins buzzing around, talking to random guys. They all looked so happy. I wanted to be like that, for a night.

"Why?" I gulped.

"We're partying. Tonight." She smirked.

I smiled, as great as that sounded... "Josh and I will be there."

"Great! My house, down in the city." She smiled.

I gave her a nod. My excitement high up. I felt like a helium balloon soaring in the air. And some huge ass private jet was going to stick its nose in my delicacy and I would explode in a huge pop. What the hell was up with the silence? Then I saw it. More like him. Dan was in a clump of men. Shaking hands, laughing, probably talking about what the hell they're doing next.

Dan caught me glancing at him. His chocolate eyes seemed to sparkle and he nodded me over. I slowly walked, trying to snake past Josh. Dan walked towards me, away from his friends. When he saw me, he hesitantly gave me a hug.

"Hey," He winced, with an uneasy smile.

"Hey! Congratulations!" I remarked.

"Thanks." He smiled. "Now, I guess it's...off to college."

He chuckled. I plainly smiled. I couldn't get too flirtatious. "I guess."

"You look really gorgeous." He smiled. I could see his eyes trailing me up and down, making me want to gag. He just didn't understand that I was with Josh.

"Well, healing ribs really does something to a person." I rolled my eyes teasingly.

Dan was smiling at me like a little kid. He glanced side to side before stepping closer to me and grabbed my arm lightly. His lips leaned into my ear and I could easily hear every-single sound he whispered.

"Reed... I just want you to know...when you get rid of Josh... I'm always here." He backed away and looked at me with a 'what do you think?' cocky expression that made me want to slap him across the face.

But, I clenched my fist and unclenched them. Hoping this would ease my furry. Pressing my lips into a closed smile I looked at the ground. "As intriguing as that sounds... I'm going to have to pass up that offer. I'm stuck with Josh if he likes it or not." I sarcastically stated. Squinting in the sun. My loose curls seemed to dance in the breeze.

"Nothing last forever, Reed." Dan said. His annoying attitude was getting to me and I wanted this conversation to end badly. For Josh to see the two of us talking right now would just ruin his day.

"Yeah...that pretty much explains our friendship. Goodbye, Dan. Have a nice life." I gave him a closed smile and turned around, making my way back. I had this huge goofy smile on my face when I was completely turned around. Finally, putting a guy who was all over me the semester straight. It was amazing.

When Noelle said we're partying tonight, I didn't know it would be this big. Her summer home, close to Easton, was decorated like it was planned out for years. Dresses of every single color and shade imaginable were worn. And guys in oxford shirts and dress pants broke up the rainbow of colors up. Chandeliers hung from every room's extremely high ceilings. I was so happy I felt as if I could fly up to them and just tap them, causing them to play a nice song.

I never really thought that I would end up at a graduation party this huge. Back home, a huge backyard tent, a plastic table full of food, and a shrine of the kid's years. Nothing like this. I flatted out my dress, wanting to make a good impression on all the people here. Everyone of every age was here. It was just in between. As if someone took a picture of a ball and combined it with the legacy.

Only better.

And, my goal tonight was no drama. Hang out with the girls. And spend time with Josh. I didn't intend on dying, nor did I intend on being kidnapped, or raped, or anything of that matter. I just wanted to have fun. I just wanted to be a kid.

I led myself into the ballroom. It was very dim, but soft, bright lights filled in some places, and hid the groping couples in others. I was just on the side. Watching it all, taking it in. I didn't really know where anyone was, but I knew I would find them later. There was a whole night ahead of me.

"You are the most beautiful girl...that I have ever laid eyes on." Josh's hot breath grazed my ear. And he kissed my shoulder while slipping his hand into mine.

I looked up at him, turning my head gracefully. I found myself in the eyes blue and deep. I could even see them in the dimly lit room. I turned my whole body to him, and laced my fingers through his hair. Teasing his curls. Raising my arms over my head just to reach him. He was gorgeous.

"I'm so proud of you." I said, showing off a toothy grin.

He kissed me sweetly on the lips. "I wouldn't have stayed sane without you."

Now I know thats a lie.

I looked down, smiling to myself.

"Can we go... I don't know...somewhere else?" He asked me, rubbing my shoulders.

I looked around the room, seeing if there was going to be anyone there to see me. I quickly realized it didn't matter.

"Yes." I smiled huge.

Josh smiled back at me too, taking my hand and leading me upstairs. It seemed as if he had this whole thing planned out already. We passed lines of rooms until we finally got to one Josh picked out.

He opened the door up, and aroma of some sort of flower filled my senses. I liked it. He had a few candles lit. The light wasn't on yet, but I could still see from the light of the candles.

"Will this be okay?" He asked me.

I was pretty much well one, shocked, and two _completely_ shocked because he took time out of his graduation night to set this all up.

"Anything that involves you and a bed, will be okay."

He loudly chuckled at me before finally grabbed my waist, and squeezing me to him. He gave me heavy, yet gentle kisses. My arms wrapped around his neck. And before we knew it, we were falling back. But I honestly couldn't tell you what the date would be, where we were, or what my dogs name was. All that was on my mind was Josh. I needed him for just now, just to myself. Not with some other girl who's going to college with him, she can just pack her bags. Because Josh Hollis is madly and completely in it with one girl.

Me.

"Josh," I whispered.

"Hmm?" He kissed my neck to my shoulders very slowly.

"Are we going to have sex?" I stared up at the ceiling.

He snorted and stopped. Soon enough he was hovering over me. "Uhm...I was hoping that...one thing would lead to another...or we just... I don't know. I just want to be with you I guess." He shrugged.

I bit my lip. "I only ask because it seems to me that candles mean sex. It's always been sex."

He smiled, "So do you want me to stop?"

"For heaven sakes no."

He laughed at me again, "Reed Brennan, I just can't seem to figure you out." He rolled off me and laid on his side, facing me the whole time.

"Well, Josh, you'll always know one thing." I smirked. I unbuttoned one of his buttons.

"And what's that?"

"I will always, always love you. That'll never change." There goes another button.

Josh smiled, he took in a breath and kissed me, lightly. I could barely feel his lips, they tickled. So I pulled two more buttons apart and pulled him by the collar towards me. And soon enough, I ripped his shirt off.

"Reed, you know what, for a girl who came out and bluntly asks her boyfriend if they're going to have sex, it's kinda funny how you're the only one trying to rip...and rip off clothes."

"I get anxious." I groaned. He kept laughing at me before rolling back on top of me.

"Let's just hope nobody gets pregnant this time." He joked. I lightly slapped his arm

Soon enough, my dress was halfway off, my breast exposed. Josh kissed every square inch of skin. And I returned the favor. Sex with us was sweet and pure and gentle. Josh's boxers were the only clothing still on him. And he finally got my dress off. Underwear and boxers.

Jackpot.

* * *

its been too long.

i know half of you probably don't even read private series fan fiction anymore.. i know i don't. I don't even take a liking in the books that much anymore. So just try... try to read the next few chapter's i'm going to put out here. I don't think i'll get much feedback. and If i don't then i'll just end the story right here right now. I'm kinda sick of this thing hanging over my head. I know this chapter isn't very good, but i think everyone will love the outcome of this story

just review, it would make my day

i am so sorry to everyone who was possibly waiting for this to happen, it never really came out on time. i've been super busy and i can't find time to do anything anymore!

-lauren.


	34. Epilogue

Once upon a time, there was a house in Croton, Pennsylvania. A small house. This house only has only seven rooms. Just a while ago, if you walked into the unlit front door, you'd be taken to the kitchen. Pots and pans would be stacked up to what seems like the ceiling. Not having interest or attention from any one. Then, you're in the living room. Reruns of Cops, and NCIS will be playing on the television. Mainly a man would be sitting on the love seat. Bags under his eyes. Sorrow in his heart of gold. There's a laundry room, and a small garage. You'll then notice all the doors are shut. Closing out everyone from themselves.

The first door is just a teenage boy's room. Pictures of half nude girls cover the wall. He's probably jacking off in his closet, but checking isn't even worth it.

After that, you'll see a suffering mom. Scars and cuts from and accident has messed her up. She sleeps all day and night. The only time she leaves her stuffy, dark room is only to get her pills. Which she has overdosed on, which she has abused, which she doesn't need.

Maybe you'll see the rock like father. He keeps to himself but he's always there to support his kids when his wife isn't. They love him. But he's tired from work and hardships and just needs a break.

Next is a teenage girls room, she's only 15. She's so young. Her whole life is ahead of her. But she feels trapped. Feels alone, she'll never find love in this town. She'll never be able to get out of here. However, so much lies ahead of her. She has absolutely no idea how much there is for her to go through. She'll probably never know. She's only fifteen.

Only fifteen.

I was only fifteen when I came to easton. Fifteen when I was accepted into Billings. Fifteen when my boyfriend died. Sixteen when I fell in love. Seventeen when someone forced themselves on me. And eighteen when I finally graduated. Twenty-two, fresh out of college, and on my own in this world. Twenty-four, married with another name. Still located in New York.

The day before my twenty-five birthday. Sitting in my bathroom, waiting for a sign of the future.

A little pink plus sign.

At first, I was angry. How could I even be ready for this? But then again, how did I pull myself up to this point? My birth control was _not _supposed to fail like this. Do I need to go to the doctor now or something? I know I have to do something...

Oh yeah, that's right. Tell him.

He'd be home at five, the show was ending at 4:30 and the cab drive was always monstrous during rush hour.

Then I found myself, pacing back and forth. Crying quiet sobs because he wasn't here to see it with me.

I had to tell Noelle.

No, he has to know first. The father has to know first.

I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. _I'm pregnant. _And not ready one bit.

The lock on the door clicked three times before it unhatched, and the Friday sun poured into the townhouse. My eyes shot up, and I smoothed my shorts out as I stood up.

"Hey, baby." Josh Hollis's blue eyes sparkled as he tossed his keys on the table, and walked up to me. His stronger arms circled my body and I melted into him. Clutching onto this oxford button up, I gave him an uneasy smile.

"Always good to see you." I sweetly smiled and gave him a peck.

"As for you Mrs. Hollis. How was your day?"

My eyes must of filled with fear or shock or some sort of emotion that stunned him.

"Reed?" He questioned, tugging away to see what I was upset about. "Reed, what's wrong?" Those blue eyes looked back at me with worry, and his forehead creased with concern. I couldn't help but smile at his kindness. Today was just full of clichés.

"I— Josh, I'm late." I whispered quietly.

"Late? Late for work?" He was too confused.

I let out a loud laugh at his childish guess and continued, "Period late."

Shock filled his eyes and reminded me of how I looked a few hours ago.

"Oh." He said quietly. "Did you..."

"Yes... yes, I did." I nodded, admitting I took a test.

He looked down at me as I looked up at him for many moments, until he broke the silence. "Do I have to fish the thing out of the garbage or are you going to tell me the results?" His eyebrows shot up.

Another laugh, a quieter one, shook my body. Tears sprung from my eyes as I smiled and said,

"You're going to be a daddy."

Josh's mouth smiled in shock and he laughed out of happiness. "Ohmigod." He pulled me into a huge kiss, dragging me over to the couch. I was tossed back and he was on me in seconds. Kissing my mouth, cheek, neck, bare shoulders. Everywhere.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you." He finally trailed down to my stomach. "You're seriously sure?" He asked glancing up at me.

I nodded, "We'll go to the doctor tomorrow to be one hundred percent."

He laughed again, "I'm going to be a dad... You're going to be a mom." His lips landed on mine once more. "Reed, we're going to be a family."

I nodded so quickly, and smiled so brilliantly, I thought my head would spin off. I echoed, "We're going to be a family."

An hour, and mind blowing sex later, I was on the phone with various people. Noelle, my parents, my doctor, Constance, Josh's parents. It was almost too much. Noelle was in charge of the baby shower, which I told her wouldn't be for a long time, but still she needed the spot. My mom screamed out of joy when I told her. It was pretty shitty doing it over the phone, but I couldn't wait until we got back to Croton. I didn't really want to go back there either. She started rambling off all the things I must buy and warned me about what would happen. You know, being her motherly way.

Constance screamed when I told her also. She then went onto to calculating if the baby would have my eyes, or Josh's hair. It only made me more excited, knowing that I'd have yet another reminder of the love of my life everyday.

The whole day was incredibly cheesy, Josh and I went out to buy pregnancy books at the Barnes&Noble down the block. After we ordered chinese, and read and ate and slept and had more sex in our room.

There was this stranger bittersweet bliss about the whole thing. If I were myself back in High School, I would doubt the happiness would stay, only to be replaced with fear and paranoid feelings. But it wasn't. I was happy and here to stay.

It all only made me think back to how the hell did I get here?

College was tough. Josh ending up at Yale, and me there a year later, we had plenty of time together. And of course, Noelle up there with him only made life easier. I was so happy I wasn't one of those college girlfriends who desperately tried to make long distance work. Too much for that, that is.

And the best part? I was alive. And I was never threatened of my safety in college. I mean, there were some rough parts, like when Josh's driver got stuck in traffic by a really skanky area. Or there was always the creepy guys, trying to get in my pants; boyfriend or not. But I was never almost pushed off rooftops. Or forced upon. Or trapped in an underground cave for a week. Or held hostage. Reed Brennan's like was... dare I say it, normal.

And I loved it.

Josh's dad over came cancer the year I graduated. It was finally all gone, and I just pray Josh will never go through something like that. Tess and Tori were all grown up, and in the fall were going to college at NYU for film and acting. Of course they're going together. Those two became some what inseparatable when they dumped their boyfriends. Gia and Lynne were onto their second child and living in a suburb right outside of the city. Noelle and Dash married in Hawaii, like promised, and are located all over the world. Noelle's job as the head of a crazy popular New York magazine, has allowed her to travel all over the world. And Dash's starting up his own company, creating luxury boats.

You can definently say that everyone from Easton has grown up. But I can say that no matter how far we are, we still all remember each other. It will never really change, actually. And Noelle has even forced us into yearly Fat Phoebe parties, or just getting plain drunk together.

And even though our— well, my— rough past may still haunt us, it'll go away some day. Someday I will wake up and not think of how Ariana tried to killed me, or Sabine betrayed me.

But hey, I was Reed Hollis. Married to Josh Hollis. Expecting. Living in New York City. Blessed with freedoms. With a new book coming out this fall. And the rest... well that may be, _Private._

* * *

Okay, you're officially allowed to hate me now. Because this was the very last chapter to this whole story. I don't know how many of you still read Private. I don't know how many of you even go on fan fiction. I don't even know how many of you will even get this email notification and decide to decline or read.

All I know, is that, many of you have stuck with me through an amazing THREE YEAR JOURNEY. And I would love to take this time to thank all of you. You helped me believe in myself as a writer. I've grown quite comfortable around you guys. And I wish I still had that amazing drive I did last year, and I wish I could still provide you more amazing Private fan fictions. I last updated December 13th, 2010. That is way too long to write an epilogue. I had no idea how to put this. It just is a lot of overview and you guys deserve a lot more.

But thank you. For spending your time with me. For 484 reviews. For the amazing experience.

Thank you thank you thank you.

I love you all, every single one of you.

And I hope this isn't really a good bye. More of a moving on experience. I hope you try to contact me through other things you may find. Like Glee? I have a tumblr for that.

Or if you just want to chat, I can always do that on here(:

Final sign off.

-laurennn.


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